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Aurere
Defensiveness comes from fears .... misunderstandings... everyone is different and if you know the Myers Briggs personality programme as well it is a good way to understand how others are and it is a strength to be able to accept that...:)

In some training based concepts they ask for constructive feedback which is different to criticism. Constructive feedback is meant to be positive empowerment of other skills that one can utilize... it is a strength to be able to accept constructive feedback.

Other feedback one can give is with I statements.. feelings.. coming from ones own feelings.. of hurt, frustration and fears..owning their own feelings.
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