Love Ain't Easy, Baby

thanks date coach!

Serious relationships, in
their current form, don't work most of the time.
We often pick the wrong people for the wrong
reasons. We also have a very bad habit of using
our adult, intimate relationships to resolve
issues we have with our parents when we're
children.

What to do?

* Solve your childhood issues BEFORE you enter
into a relationship.

You'll have a much better chance of success
because you'll no longer be acting; you'll be
authentic.

* Don't compromise anything that's a
deal breaker.

You've been told that great relationships are
built on your ability/willingness to compromise.
The trouble is that no one tells you which things
to compromise.

Take out a piece of paper and make a list 1-10.
1-5 are your pet peeves (deal breakers) and 6-10
are things that kind of bug you but you could go
either way on. If the person you're with has any
traits in the 1-5 range, walk away from the
relationship RIGHT NOW. Don't think, for a
moment, that you can live with these things...you
can't. This will save you weeks, months or
perhaps years of misery. You're priorities must
match up.

You should be going into a relationship to be more
of who you already are...not to get something to
fulfill you or to change someone into something
they aren't.

A good topic, but this video seems to me like nothing more than a commercial for the full length version. Is that what we want Current TV to become? Free advertising for documentaries?

Love is not about what the other can give you and do for you, love is about what you can give the other and do for the other. Love asks for nothing in return. Young people frequently mistake lust/infatuation with love. Falling in love is not love, being in love is not yet love. Love begins when all those thrills and the honeymoon are over - that's when the labor of love begins. Love is not dependency - if you think you cannot live with your loved one, it is not love, it is neediness and addiction.

Love isn't easy because it takes so much maturity. What most people don't realize is that even though this is the person that you know you want to be with, there are going to be times when you argue, or something else happens, when you question whether it was really meant to be. The key is first to acknowledge, at the beginning of the relationship, that there are going to be times when you question the relationship, and to remember, during those times, why you got into the relationship.

It is interesting to me that many people does not know what "Love" is. Many refer to their past "passionate" relationships thinking that is or it was "Love." In part this has to do with our "confused media culture" that mistakes "passion" with "Love." Since many rejects GOD today it makes even difficult or impossible for them to understand in their life time what "Love" is. That said, what about if we fix this title in your head. "Passion ain't easy baby!" "Love", well that is another story you will have to learn if you have a heart for it.

I really liked the premise of this pod: looking at relationship expectations for young people. I think this is an issue that doesn't get nearly enough focus, as most of us (statistically) are children of divorce, so we have unique ideas about the arch of a relationship.

I felt like the conflict here was explained very well -- the expectation of "forever," vs. the reality of half of all marriages ending in divorce.

I realize that this was a particularly hard piece to do because the B-Roll is general. I felt like the Las Vegas might have been more interesting at the beginning --as a tool to frame the problem: its not shocking that a ton of marriages end in divorce when you consider you can get married without even getting out of your car.

There was really good information in the piece -- outlining the problem for young people. And also really good experts to give credibility to the reality and unreality of love and expectations.

I would have liked to have seen more takes on the ups-and-downs from regular people (like the woman in the beginning) about the impact of a failed relationship.

All in all though, the piece worked well.

This was incredibly insightful for me. I am missing a good friend of mine who is also an ex-lover. I miss him dearly and at the same time, I know that my motivations for wanting reconnect with him aren't necessarily the best. Relationships have always been one of the most fascinating things for me to study and observe. Thanks for showing this!
-Ki

I am of the belief that one only falls in crazy, head over heels, that is the one, LOVE, once in your lifetime. If that relationship does not work one carries a scar in their psycheart soul that one has to learn to heal.Time eventually heals ones physical-emotional pain it is maturity that heals the inner psycheart wound.

I have to admit, that this may not be what most young people want to hear, it is very honest.

I add; that in order to have a successful relationship one must "to thine own self be true"., meaning be who you are up front, that may sound simple, but let me tell you not easy!

have fun!

Love is possible.. but in todays worl... its just so heavly misconstrued.. its like nobody truly cares about true love anymore.. and.. things just seem to fall apart.

I caught the pod this morning-especially the emphasis on monogamy & how 'difficult' it is today. Two thoughts came to mind, God gave us the ability to make choices. It's not easy perhaps to be with one person at times, but it is an easier choice, in the long run, -mentally, physically, & spiritually- than bouncing from bed to bed.

The next thought was an AP article from Nov 14th 2007 - "U.S. Sets Record In Sexual Disease Cases". go figure.

love is easy........... people make it difficult.