Forget John McCain...

*Feeling like it's her chance to really "Maverick things up" in Washington, Sarah Palin and "camp" kicked McCain off the ticket today, just 6 days before the election. The unprecedented move is a shock to everyone.

Official sources in the Palin camp said that "in an effort to demonstrate her commitment to and solidarity with Pro-Americans, Palin has selected 'Joe the Plumber' after a lengthy vetting process performed earlier this week to be her Vice Presidential running mate."

Asked to comment on her decision to retire McCain, assume the lead position and take on "Joe the Plumber" as her running mate, Palin simply said "I feel 'Joe the plumber' is highly qualified for the position of Vice President and Commander of the Senate."

Palin went on to say that she is undecided whether to appoint Elisabeth Hasselbeck (of "The View") to fill the cabinet position of Secretary of the Defense or to set up an entirely new Cabinet position - "like George Bush did with Homeland Security," called Secretary of Pro-Americanism. "Either way" states Palin, "I'm dubbing her 'Elisabeth my back'". Palin went on to say "since Hasselbeck has a long and successful history of fighting un-Pro-Americans and terrorists she feels she's (Hasselbeck) is well qualified for either post."

When interviewed this afternoon, Hasselbeck stated "my first act as Secretary of Defense will be to be to ban 'The View' as an instigator and spreader of 'un-Pro-Americanism.'" Asked how she could turn on her friends on "The View" who helped her develop her sharp mindednism and pointedliness, Hasselbeck replied "the show would have been nothing without me, end quote."

Asked to respond to today's events, the McCain camp stated it will "never give up," that "we like being the under dog" and that they have Palin "right where we want her" according to one high level McCain staffer. The staffer went on to say that "just as John McCain's financial fiasco early on in the McCain Campaign for President (strangely enough, resulting from incompetence, a lack of oversight and overspending) gave McCain a new lease on his candidacy, kicking Palin off the ticket has given McCain the opportunity to select his best buddy ever, Joey (politician for hire) Lieberman for his running mate." The McCain staffer insisted it was McCain who was "more Mavericky by dumping Palin from the ticket, not the other way around."

When asked about their "judgment" in making such a change so late in the game, only six days before election day, the McCain staffer said "that's what makes it fun."

Many analyst say "this is nothing new for the self labeled 'Mavericks,'" and that "the McCain / Palin ticket short on meaningful policy, direction and ideas, have like a neglected (and often psychologically abused) child, sought 'negative reinforcement' or acting out (or badly) as a means of drawing attention to themselves." The analyst continued, "Sometimes, negative attention is better than no attention." Analyst agree, the McCain / Palin's campaign has "almost entirely consisted of negative attacks on their opponent which largely includes fabrication, distortion and outright lying," continuing they point out how the severity of the fabrication or the degree of divergence from the truth parallels the McCain / Palin campaigns relative position or standing in polls.

*Sarcasm