Become Pope In A Few Easy Steps –– And Learn Some Surprising Things About The Church

by Nicole
Have you ever wondered how Popes get the top job? Do you think you have what it takes to be a pontiff? Well now you can find out thanks to the Vatican Board Game, which is an accurate simulation of the papal election process, and was developed to reveal the mysterious inner workings of The Roman Catholic Church.

The brain behind the board game, Stephen Haliczer, is one of the world’s leading early modern historians, appearing earlier this year on the four-part PBS docudrama, Secret Files of the Inquisition. Since we have papal aspirations ourselves (we just need to change those pesky rules that don’t let chicks become popettes), we called Haliczer and asked him for some tips. Turns out Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown should’ve done the same thing, since Haliczer says his book Angels and Demons, which is set against the backdrop of a papal election, is riddled with factual inaccuracies, though he does concede that is “a great read.”

DM: What did Dan Brown get wrong?

Haliczer: For example, Dan Brown tells us that the papal election turns on four specific candidates. He says these are the four candidates for which the cardinals can cast their votes. Well that’s not the case, they can vote for any cardinal they want. There’s no specific number of candidates or specific candidates. The press identified as many as fifteen possible candidates before the election of 2005, and Dan Brown’s telling us there are only four actual candidates, that’s completely untrue.

DM: Why did you create the game?

Haliczer: The Vatican board game really is an effort to dispel some of the mythology surrounding the Catholic Church. In popular culture there’s not only a great deal of curiosity about the inner workings of the Catholic Church, there’s also a great deal of confusion because of the secretive nature of some of its deliberations and processes.

DM: It does seem so much is done behind closed doors, which in a democratic society is not necessarily seen as a very good thing?

Haliczer: But the church is not a democratic society. Ironically, at the very apex it is, because you do have an election for the supreme leader, but otherwise it’s not democratic it’s hierarchical like an old fashioned monarchy.

DM: So in understanding how it all works, do you think people will have more or less respect for the institution?

Haliczer: I think if they play the game they’ll understand a great deal more about it, and they’ll see that the process involves a careful nurturing of talent over a long period of time. In other words the cardinals that do emerge as possible papal material are cardinals that are seasoned. They have a distinguished record in a pastoral sense as archbishops. For example Pope Benedict XVI, as Archbishop of Munich, was very widely respected in his role as pastoral leader. And then they have experience in two very important areas, serving in episcopal organizations like bishops conferences and synods on the one hand, and serving the central administration of the church, the curia. My game reflects that.

DM: I think from the outside, that’s where some of the criticism lies; It’s not the Mother Teresa types, who have seriously served the poor, that get to be pope, it’s the people that are good at playing politics.

Haliczer: You’ll probably find it curious but I don’t like to use the word politics. There is a political dimension to it, but I think it’s more a matter of service and experience, that’s what one finds, and that’s what’s reflected in my game, and in the reality. My game is based on a deep study of the careers of dozens of leading cardinals.

DM: What would you do if you had the power to change the rules of the real game?

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