My trip to Toronto

I won't call you a poor excuse for anything but you did mention that this was not the most riveting piece and, while I have to agree, I did watch it to the end. [1] I think the reason this didn't do so well is because there is no story other than "I flew to Toronto, I met some folks I knew, we watched hockey, I didn't like the movie I saw, we smoked cigarettes." C'est la vie, no? Even though you, our narrator, remained energetic despite the circumstance, the muse was simply not present until the end when you're lighting up with your friends. Why was that compelling? Here's a tip--character, yours, theirs, ours, is revealed through action. If you're not doing anything, we're not getting any information about how you're doing it and whether we like it or not. You went to this thing with your friends who you hadn't seen for some time. There's a story. At the bar didn't someone order you a shot because it had been so long since they saw you? If not, could you have used a drink? All elements of story to share with us, all thoughts running through your head that we can relate to. [2] Don't be afraid to talk to the colorful people at these things. They're there to be seen and they're probably entertaining, if not a bit weird. And yeah, it's tough to capture all these particulars when it's you doing the filming. And then, if you catch them, it's tough to make them look legitimate. You seem hyperconscious of this, too. So what you need is to recap them in a voice over or in some text over transitional footage. The opening shot of your plane landing was gorgeous. "We went to the bar and I couldn't follow the hockey game. My friend so and so tried explaining it to me but all I could think of was looking for the things that were different here in Toronto. Then I couldn't sleep because I was in Toronto." Or something to help us get to know you. [2a] It is also possible, if you're producing this for the air, that you need another cameraperson. And I hate shameless self promotions in these responses but, call me :-).