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20 bands who need to go the f*** away now


  3. ProjectNoise
    • The Fix Staff
    • wrote this
  5. related topics
OK, we don't necessarily agree with this list, but this article is f***ing hilarious. It goes from #1 ...

"Coldplay
Following the trail blazed by Klaus Nomi, Yanni and John Tesh, this band is what happens when your only records are ELO and latter-career Elton John and you misheard the few good parts of those. Uh, Mr. Paltrow, we know you’re rich and you look like you were rich before you were famous so quit dressing like an updated Artful Dodger. God invented the electric guitar so we didn’t have to listen to stuffy Europhiles saw away on those hideous violins and cellos, but you have forsworn God’s plan for rock ‘n’ roll and now we cast you out. Away."

... to #20:

"The Beatles
The seminal blight on the history of rock-and-roll since their fey little asses came skipping out of whatever grotesquely verdant, throbbing and respiring pod spawned them back in Liverpool. Their second record, With the Beatles (1963), is rife with unabashed emasculations and mal-renderings of milestone R&B hits and signaled the beginning of a decade of serial brazen mockery, especially with their injustice to Barrett Strong’s “Money (That’s What I Want).” The Beatles were to rock-n-roll what Enron was to the working man. They were arrogant, elitist, dilettantes who–even though now diminished by half–just won’t go away. Well boys, the Devil’s here and he’s got a past due notice for what’s left of your hollow, wheezy souls. Once and for all, Go Away!"

By The Fix staff
ProjectNoise

11 responses // 20 bands who need to go the f*** away now

  • I actually like alot of those bands/artists on that list...
    Eh, I'll give it a thumbs up just for the fact that it's clever. Nice find.
    martin0
  • America, home of the "if you don't like it, kick it out!" kind of idiocy you don't find anywhere else!
    PoisonTheMonkey
    1 response to this
  • The only cows I really like to see slaughtered are sacred ones.
    blogorreah
  • I think whoever wrote this list needs to go the fuck away themselves. Why the hell is this on the front page??
    BetterWatching
    2 responses to this
  • not news.
    this is stupid.
    squidteeth
  • Woah that's pretty harsh, but funny. Good stuff. My kind of journalism. They could have left a few artists off that list but I totally agree with most of it, notably Kanye and Usher and the we want them back addendum especially.
    maasanova
  • The list is sorta funny. I laughed.

    I agree with 3/4 of it. No lie.

    but The Beatles???

    that is not funny.

    all we need is love : )
    JudahEvan
  • hahhahah you gotta laugh at most of this list!, i agree with most of his views hahaaha
    luis_chamuco

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