Having children makes you unhappy

What about the studies that show how important family is? If there were no kids in this world those that were childless wouldn't even exist because their parents wouldn't have bother creating them.

I think there's something wrong with this research, that's for sure.

Having my child made me very happy. But....it adds lots of worry!

B.S,
We have 4 children and we're very happy.
There are always hard times,
most often having fammily makes the bitter times easier to endure and the good times more joyful.
We just had a sweet summer weekend at home with our adult kids visiting, watching movies and eating barbecue outside. It was one of those happy times that makes life good.
Even Anne Frank refused to give up hope and found joy amid war and destruction. Her family celebrated the joy of freedom with the Shabbat seder and remembered the deliverance from slavery even while hiding from the Nazis. That is the indomitable human spirit, and family is an essential part of being human, whether you choose to have children, or not.

this doesnt surprise me in the least bit.

for thousands of years the cliche of 'it takes a village to raise a child' was realized in practice. now in the age of capitalism and technology, the village is gone and the child and parent(s) are left to fend for themselves.

Of course having children is stressful and very, very hard, and causes unhappiness, everyone knows it. Though, it's not the same for everyone and some people feel meaning with children, which they wouldn't feel otherwise.

However, I think this brings up an important point...people need to think seriously about the implications of bringing a child into the world. People who have nine kids just because are causing themselves and their children grief--they are draining resources and their children will have that much of a harder time getting college and getting raised correctly.

I have three children, plus their spouses (they all call me MOM--it was their idea!!), and two beautiful grandchildren. They all make me very happy.

I had 0 kids and im happier than all you

kids = hell!
i mean shit kids are cool to have for the first year then till they are 18 they bug you and ask you for money everyday. then when they are out of your house parents finally remember what life was like before kids. i will never have kids.

when i hear kids freaking out i call it "screaming birth-control." i know it's not nice... :) i don't know if i want kids yet?

I hate kids, and I plan to have none. Decrease the surplus population.

If your life is only about what makes you happy then you probably shouldn't have children. But you might want to consider how much happier your parents would have been without you. Sure, my kids had a wonderful nack for being a pain in the butt. But was it gratifying raising them? You bet. Would I have been a "happier" person without the responsibalty? Gratefully, I'll never know. Ido know this, raising my three beautiful daughters has made me a more complete person.

i think one of the major points that the article should have addressed was the fact that 'happiness' (whatever that may mean) isn't always the most important thing; meaning and purpose are. A lot of people may feel unhappy with what they do, but they are executing a purpose, and if it means the drudgery of changing diapers and burping a baby, then so be it. Purpose can mean everything.

If going to the bar and getting wasted is more important then seeing your beautiful child smiling then- Yes you will be unhappy with children.
If you know and understand that the world doesn't revolve around your needs, then you would make a beautiful Mother or Father.
I love my baby girl more than anything. I can't imagine my life without her and I can think of many of my friends who are very excited to have one of their own soon. So in your face you stupid statistic. I am Mother, hear me ROAR.

With more love comes more pain.I happen to be a single father to an amazing 5 year old boy, and he is the only person in my life that says " I love you" to me. He is my light and what depresses me the most is knowing that I cannot always be there for him to protect him from the possible cruelties of the world. Having a child made me realize how precious and delicate life is.

A child is defined in how U mold them...for service to others or $$.

Happiness doesnt always equal good. Just because something makes you not fully happy, doesnt mean you should avoid it completely. Hell lying on my fat ass, watching TV, and eating hot wings makes me happy, but it's not the best thing to do sometimes

i've got 2 nephews and a niece , the oldest is 7 . i don't need my own kids , and would probably kill them anyhow if i had to be around them all the time .

In response to above: Your niece and nephew are not your own kids. If you went through a long pregnancy with a woman you love...then seeing her give birth to something that is yours and yours alone, is something way more powerful then babysitting your bratty sisters kids.

Having my son was one of the happiest times of my life despite all the physical problems I went through to almost dying in childbirth due to complications... but we both survived and I know it was for a reason... and he has been the light of my life for the last 17 years. After both my husband and I lost our parents, our child has been the bright spot of our lives and he looks so much like my mother that each time i look at him it makes me happy. I think these studies with the broad brushes are honestly bunk. Happiness is in the eye of the beholder. I can't imagine life without my son. He is my miracle.

I think this study succeeds only at one thing: to sell copies of Newsweek magazine.

I don't have kids but my gut instinct tells me that fulfilling my dream of being a mom would make me happier than anything in the world. Sure, day to day child care has its share of struggle, stress and strife, but bringing up a child with love in this beautiful world is the best thing I imagine doing with my life.

Lol... if someone is intelligently questioning if their reality/life is ready for children Before they have them, that just means they are actually planning. This reminds me of the movie Idiocracy. :) p.s. All power to you if you are a prepared, intelligent parent!

This 'cultural myth' has been repeatedly 'cracked' throughout history. In the Kreutzer Sonata, Tolstoy calls children a "source of misery" and "a cause of fear, anxiety, and interminable suffering", while Emerson felt 'there was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep.' Mind you, I'm only quoting 19th century men here, so probably not the best sample..

Is this study suggesting that we'd all be happier living in a spree of selfish hedonism? Or just confirming what we already know - that good parents tend to make personal sacrifices for their kids?

Most people stumble into what society at large has programmed them to think will be the fullfillment of their lifes and fill that emptiness they feel - what they get is the emptiness, a lot more stress, guilt and a lot less time to find 'real' ways to address the source of their misery - hardly surprising it's a disappointment. There are exceptions of course.

I have a daughter and I love her so much !!! For sure happy times, yet ... it's just more ... more joy, more fear, more concern and more reward ... Being a parent gives us a real purpose. To serve another human in a way that is so amazing and special ....
Her mom and I are not together anymore, so that has added some hard times to the mix...

So.. Not sure if its an easy answer, there is allot into it BUT ..

I know one thing for sure ...

MAKING BABIES IS REAL FUN !!!!!

Obviously it's false, because the Govt. pays poor people to have kids. Kids=money?

Most educated people can't because they can only afford 1 or two.

God bless the breeders who make us pay more taxes
God bless big oil
Poison monkey how many kids can you possible have?

God bless mr. smithers

I'm happy to hear this because i know many people who don't want kids. including me

I can c parents being unhappy, changing baby's dippers, waking up in the middle night everyday to a crying unhappy child. But it gets better they eventually move out and go to COLLAGE most of the time....

Having the baby can be the biggest strain on a relationship ever, but over coming problems with sleep and who is doing more can make the best family ever.

(mine)

happiness is caused by a perspective not a situation.

I think this makes a lot of sense, we've always been told that we'll be happy when we get married, we'll be happy when we have kids. I don't think kids automatically bring happiness if the person isn't happy with themselves. Happiness depends on the individual and less on relationships and kids.

odd article. hard to determine from a personal perspective too. you can't say "bs I have kids and I'm happy" because you don't know if you would be happier if you hadn't, likewise for those without kids. I'd actually believe this article. most of our beliefs about family is incorrect and based on happy little disney myths. I was shocked when i learned that being in a hetero relationship was actually a psychological detriment to females. it's true, look it up.

Kids=Over population!

fiddle sticks... Nothing beats being a parent. The love we share with are kids, there can be no greater joy.

Is it worth bringing kids into this world right now? Just because of everything that is going on...

I believe that how happy a parent is really depends upon whether or not that person or that couple is prepared for all of the responsibilities of child-rearing.

Personally, I don't want kids---but it's not just because of the typical reasons of how loud, gross, or expensive they are. I know that if I were to have a kid, I would be introduced into a whole new world of anxiety. How are the kids and teachers at school treating him/her? Uh-oh, the poor thing is getting sick...again...? Why is that strange man looking at my kid?! Worrying about the adult members of my family is stressful enough, thank you.

One thing I can say is that many of the unhappy parents probably had kids too early, or should not have had them at all. Just from my normal observations in public, I can tell that parental apathy is becoming a huge problem. The "give the kid whatever it wants----anything it takes to make him/her shut up" behavior has become way too popular these days. On the flip side of the same coin, there are parents who spare their children no dignity. You know, the ones who scream back at their kids in front of everyone. I think my mother really got it right in that category. A low, quiet, deadly voice to scare the crap out of me and my unruly sister was enough to shut us up without embarrassing us in the process.

In conclusion, if you really like the little ones, and are ready and willing to deal with what it takes to be a good parent, then kids might just be a great source of joy for you. On the other hand, if you feel pressured to have kids because that's what the family wants, but know deep down that you don't have the patience for it, be prepared for misery if you do have them.