Conservative gay weddings? Same-sex couples opt for traditional wedding customs
- added July 1, 2008
- 5 responses
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- JanaPokana
- added this
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Who would have thought same-sex weddings could be this conservative? According to the Advocate, the majority of same-sex couples decide to have more or less traditional wedding ceremonies.
Given that there are no long-established homosexual wedding rituals, this might come as a surprise to those who expected gay and lesbian couples to be somewhat more innovative and daring. However, Los-Angeles-based wedding planner Wendy Rhodes, argues that her homosexual customers' wishes are quite traditional and conventional, including common features such as wedding invitations, festive music, formal attire, white wedding cake, champagne and flowers. According to Rhodes, same-sex couples "want everything they can possibly have in their wedding. People all dream of the same things when they think of a wedding.''
If this points to the fact that wedding trends have a universal quality and transgress borders of sexual orientation, a certain degree of flexibility and openness is inevitable when it comes to planning same-sex weddings. Who pays? Who walks down the aisle? Who gets the first dance? These are just some of the questions gay and lesbian couples have to deal with when planning their big day! According to Kathryn Hamm, president of GayWeddings.com, it is just a matter of time before these questions are answered and homosexual weddings become institutionalised: "The more mainstream same-sex weddings become, the more routine they'll become when it's not this interesting, sensational new thing''.
Hamm also raises the interesting point of the effect same-sex marriage will have on the way heterosexual couples deal with wedding traditions: ''The thing I'm curious about is what happens to all wedding ceremonies once there's marriage equality. How will same-sex marriages change the landscape for heterosexual couples?''
What do you think?
Given that there are no long-established homosexual wedding rituals, this might come as a surprise to those who expected gay and lesbian couples to be somewhat more innovative and daring. However, Los-Angeles-based wedding planner Wendy Rhodes, argues that her homosexual customers' wishes are quite traditional and conventional, including common features such as wedding invitations, festive music, formal attire, white wedding cake, champagne and flowers. According to Rhodes, same-sex couples "want everything they can possibly have in their wedding. People all dream of the same things when they think of a wedding.''
If this points to the fact that wedding trends have a universal quality and transgress borders of sexual orientation, a certain degree of flexibility and openness is inevitable when it comes to planning same-sex weddings. Who pays? Who walks down the aisle? Who gets the first dance? These are just some of the questions gay and lesbian couples have to deal with when planning their big day! According to Kathryn Hamm, president of GayWeddings.com, it is just a matter of time before these questions are answered and homosexual weddings become institutionalised: "The more mainstream same-sex weddings become, the more routine they'll become when it's not this interesting, sensational new thing''.
Hamm also raises the interesting point of the effect same-sex marriage will have on the way heterosexual couples deal with wedding traditions: ''The thing I'm curious about is what happens to all wedding ceremonies once there's marriage equality. How will same-sex marriages change the landscape for heterosexual couples?''
What do you think?
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- JanaPokana
- 3 months ago
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It does not surprise me at all and I don't think it should come as such a shock - people are people and they like the same things!
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I think it is a little disappointing to see gays and lesbians imitate the same stupid rituals heterosexuals have been holding on to for years! It is time for a change and I hope same-sex weddings will bring a breath of fresh air to the whole wedding industry!
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Tradition=Comfort In the end, is it so bad to be a part of something?
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- NewWorldMember
- 3 months ago
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<her homosexual customers' wishes are quite traditional and conventional, including common features such as wedding invitations, festive music, formal attire, white wedding cake, champagne and flowers.>
Um...is this for real? It's a shock that gays would want to celebrate with--gasp!--music, cake and champagne? That they'd want to invite people using...invitations?? You mean to tell me that gays are requesting FORMAL ATTIRE to one of the most important moment in their lives?
It's almost--almost!!--as if they're just like US!! -
The article was published in the Advocate, so I don't think it is trying to depict the homosexual community as intrinsically different or alien. To me, the article simply raises the question of how universal wedding customs are and can be given that they have only very recently been made available to same-sex couples. And while I am not surprised that homosexual couples send out invitations, it is interesting to see that they would be so keen to follow all of the standardised traditions and customs given that there is such a long history of exclusion. I think it has a lot to do with recognisability and validation, or, as NewWorldMember says, comfort. And I think I disagree with what Hamm, the woman quoted in the article, says about same-sex weddings becoming more and more routine - I think as soon as gay and lesbian weddings become more acceptable and common, there will be more room for originality and play, simply because there won't be so much pressure on doing it 'right' and proving a point.
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- JanaPokana
- 3 months ago
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