TV Schedule

Your G-spot will bring you closer to God


  3. LindseyIndigo
  4. related topics
Sex In Crisis, a new book by Dagmar Herzog, explores how religious conservatives are hijacking liberal rhetoric - the idea that orgasms are actually rather good, for example - to preach ideas on sexuality that are anything BUT liberal.

According to Herzog, the conservative right are using the (literally) touchy feely language of sex-positivism to demonstrate how much they 'value' and 'respect' women, and acknowledge that sex is a vital (and maybe even fun!) part of relationships... as long as its not DIRTY AND SINFUL.

In conservative right-speak, "prostitution demeans the value of women" equals "so lets withdraw AIDS outreach efforts to prostitutes in developing countries, cos they shouldn't be doing it anyway."

Exploring your G-spot (with no-one but your husband, of course) will bring you closer to God according to evangelical sexologists (now there's a combination of words you weren't expecting to hear this morning).

And as long as you ONLY have sex within marriage, a lifetime of 'soulgasms' (ick) is yours for the taking.

Homosexuality can be cured by Christ (phew! I was tiring of my deviant attraction to women anyway) and best of all is the news that good wives who put out wherever, whenever (and whatever time of the month) will protect their husband's spiritual purity by preventing any 'need' for porn or masturbation.

She'll wear sexy lingerie and keep herself shaved and showered at all times, ready to *ahem* drop everything the moment her man wants some.

"Ellen", an ideal wife, explains, "[My husband's] purity is extremely important to me, so I try to meet his needs so that he goes out each day with his cup full. During the earlier years, with much energy going into childcare and with my monthly cycle, it was a lot more difficult for me to do that. There weren't too many 'ideal times' when everything was just right. But that's life, and I did it anyway."

So that's that. Man's satisfied, woman's satisfied, God's satisfied - and Jesus is coming again.

A happy outcome for us all, eh?
LindseyIndigo

98 responses // Your G-spot will bring you closer to God

  • http://blog.digiwaxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/jam...
    'Soulgasms' sound like something James Brown would've done back in the day...
    recommended by  huntre
    mattbrawn
  • http://www.sexinchrist.com/
    I wonder if this site exists, to serve purposes other than 'God's will'.
    joshuaheller
  • I really don't want to think about god when I'm having sex.
    shroomfairy
    2 responses to this
  • Pray before sex, during sex, and after sex.

    Williamson
    cadsuch
  • umm..
    ew.
    sorry, but, my dad is a pastor, and i went to church my whole childhood/teen years and i have never heard anything that disturbing before.
    sex is great, but it's not going to "fix" the for mentioned issues, and it's not going to "fix" homosexuality (mainly because it's not a problem to be fixed)
    what next? will they tell us if all married women put out more often we will end World hunger and bring peace to the Middle East?
    absentbree
    3 responses to this
  • It was just a matter of time for this to happen ... clever move though! I want my liberal rhetoric back!

    PS: Love the picture.
    JanaPokana
  • Maybe this one should have the WTF tag...
    unclepete
    2 responses to this
  • OH GOD!!
    recommended by  huntre
    oahspe
  • God: "Stop that!"
    huntre
  • The one time they have a Black male and White female ever together in an advertisment, they encorporate it with a stupid topic...WTF tag.
    Blackfoot777
  • Talk about a bold new marketing campaign!

    As church attendance continues to decline around the world and in the States you can see the spiritual CEO's trying to brainstorm new ideas to get people back.

    "People just don't find the 3,000 year old philosophical ideals of Hebrew tribesman from the Middle East relevant in today's modern world anymore," exclaims one priest to the others at the Dogma Inc board meeting. "Our tithes are down 25 percent from this time last year!"

    "How can we make this extremely outdated material with its extremely primitive concepts of a venegeful God more exciting to people again?" wonders another priest.

    SEX!

    Sex sells! We'll make the Book of Leviticus hip and sexy once again! No longer will people read God's prohibitions against wearing clothes woven from different materials as "boring" or think it's "ridiculous" or "nonsensical." Now that there is a possibility of a soulgasam these writings will seem incredibly cutting edge and perfectly relevant to the 21st century person!

    ---

    Somehow I just don't think this marketing campaign will get more people into church.

    Some books just don't stand the test of time and no amount of rereleases or Director's Cut's or PR campaigns will make them appeal to a new audience again.
    crob80227
    1 response to this
  • Soulgasms, protecting a man's spiritual purity -yuck! Women ready to put out at all times, lovely... Lets all be good Stepford wives....
    Smart move for the church though, such an efficient marketing machine. The various advertising methods vary between scaring kids silly with graphic theatre performances of sex, rape, masturbation and how evil they are, spreading the science of creation and making sure the uneducated remain so, creating the cure for homosexuality and declaring that a happy couple is one that has soulgasms with God, within marriage of course. They have really advanced and covered all target groups in the Spiritual Marketplace. At yet, I would be a believer in a creator, but this other stuff is just perverted.
    anaStasiaIRE
  • "She'll wear sexy lingerie and keep herself shaved and showered at all times, ready to *ahem* drop everything the moment her man wants some."

    ugh. My inner feminist shudders.

    and 'soulgasms'..??

    Though this is interesting - is it a sign of orthodox religion again trying to embrace modern culture and ways of thinking by adapting/distorting it's own ideology..?
    purplefox
    2 responses to this
  • Hallelujah!
    Audiogeek
  • The Bible religions (Christanity, Catholics, Muslims) all seem to have the same universal problem:

    They seem to be afraid of women or (at the very least) seem utterly baffeled at how to interact with them on a equal basis.

    Throughout all those religions up to and including the 21st century the same themes keeping popping up: fear of female equality and fear of female sexuality.

    If you look at the extreme akwardness a 13-14 year old male has when trying to interact with a 14 year old girl for the first time at a dance....that's the same level of akwardness these religions seem to be expressing in trying to figure out how to relate to women.

    Obviously this is armchair psychology, but I think it's very revealing that all these religions (especially the Taliban! Sheesh!) keep falling back on very strict rules and rituals in order to deal with the male anxiety of interacting with women.

    Look at the Mormon religion, the radical fundementalist Muslims, the Promisekeepers -- all of them fall back on a very specific model wherein women cannot be equal, cannot make sexual demands (only submit to them) and cannot threaten male dominance in any way.

    Is this soulgasam campaign cut from the same cloth?

    There seems to be some anxiety regarding sex between deeply religious married couples and the solution seems to be for women to submit as needed and be supportive (the "no matter what" portion is unstated but seems to be implied).

    This doesn't sound like a very mature method for dealing with 21st relationships. Instead of being a step forward, this looks like regression.
    recommended by  Vierotchka
    crob80227
    2 responses to this
  • This is ridiculous!
    prismproductions
  • watch this comment being used here, here and here
    Why is Christianity so friggin sexist? Now, we're to be used as sex launching pads to our husband's spiritual growth? What's next? Sainthood determined by how many voluntary fellatios he's received in his lifetime? GET REAL!
    Neghie
    1 response to this
  • "She'll wear sexy lingerie and keep herself shaved and showered at all times, ready to *ahem* drop everything the moment her man wants some."

    Ugh, that is messed up.
    milkradio
  • Neghie, that has to be the funniest comment I've ever read!

    Although I think its undeniable that religions have a foundation in inequality between the sexes (that's just how life was 3,000 years ago) I think this latest idea is coming about for very different reasons. I think the preachers preaching this message might actually be sincere. Well, it's possible anyway!

    The reason I think that is because some people just feel much, much more comfortable living very structured lives -- both men and women.

    Some people like careers where they have a ton of freedom and no one is looking over their shoulders and some people absolutely hate that and are much happier in jobs were everything is spelled out for them down to the last detail.

    Both men and women (some of them at least) might feel anxious and uncertain about their roles and uncertain if they're a "good" wife or a "good" husband.

    I would suppose it's the same for some new parents -- some jump in and are perfectly happy winging it, and others buy every single baby book they can find because they are worried their gonna "mess it up." Marriage (for some people) might present the same kind of anxiety/insecurity.

    I think these religions all originiated with a sexist foundation but what we're seeing now might just be insecure/anxious people (both men and women) who just happen to feel happier and more secure with their roles and duties clearly defined.

    From that perspective we can see the appeal such strict gender and sexual roles might have for some couples.
    crob80227
    2 responses to this
  • This is ridiculous! No! no no no no no!
    Gr. What happened to equality?
    Fii
    • Fii
    • 1 month ago
  • Isn't making your partner see the god of their choice the whole point of sex?
    eldamon
    1 response to this
  • watch this comment being used here, here, here, here, here and here
    This ideology is out of touch with the people. Who practices monogamy these days anyways? Kidding....
    tldiaz99
  • Yep, there is a relationship between religiosity and fear, misunderstanding and an overall unhealthy response to human sexuality. All religions, with the Muslims perhaps the best example, seem to fear human sexuality, place great restrictions on female sexuality and homosexuality and associate sexuality with "sin". What ever happened to the concept of consenting adults doing what they want in the privacy of their own homes? Why has religion taken on the role of sexuality police? Why associate sex between consenting adults as sinful? And the best question yet is: Why have so many billions of people fallen for this stupidity created by the religious sexuality police? As long as it takes place between CONSENTING ADULTS, who cares?
    lucky2bme
  • why is it never a black male and female? or a white male and female? Are they trying to tell us something?
    NaCl
  • OMG... I couldn't stop laughing when reading this! But on a more serious tone, religion is sexist. THAT'S IT! God is male. Men rule the household. Women stay at home to watch over kids. Men are the only ones who can pass on the family's last name.

    Yeah... this sex with religion crap is BS. Like us females are some sort of property. Wait... that is how marriage started! OOooopppssss.
    omordn
    2 responses to this
  • Well that's pretty stupid. The church mandated how you shouldn't have sex and now that they realized totally abstaining from sex doesn't work with 99% of people they're trying to mandate how you should have sex. Soulgasms is pretty funny, and it still sounds corny so of course its promoted.
    theoccult
    1 response to this
  • I am reminded of Joseph Smith (founder of the Mormon religion) who told his wife that he had recieved a special communication from God instructing him that he had been commanded to, uh, marry and have sex with many young and beautiful women.

    This special revelation was abandonded when his wife said, "Bullshit."

    "But baby! It ain't me! I don't want to bang all those young virgins! God is forcing me to do it! What choice do I have?"

    Smith. The original mac daddy.

    Say what you will about religion, but it's got some of the best creative writing out there. There's something for everybody.

    Love science fiction? Scientology!

    Hate technology? Amish!

    Want a lot of wives? Mormon!

    Don't want the burden of taking a pill every day? Catholics!

    Like to wear jogging suits? Heaven's Gate cult!

    Don't like gender equality? Promisekeepers!

    Hate drugs but love speed metal? StraightEdgers!
    crob80227
    1 response to this
  • Pretty much everything mentioned about the woman and their sexual relationship with the husband sounds like fundamentalist Mormon ideology. Where exactly are all of these opinions coming from? What kind of source is "Helen"?

    I think it's really easy to make Christians out to be anything we want with articles like these, and while this article clearly points out a potentially disturbing philosophy that some people are promoting, it's important we don't overgeneralize any group that's so broadly defined by the Christian religion and let these ideas represent it as a whole.
    cbritain
    3 responses to this
  • If Jesus sees everything we do, wouldn't that make us his porn???

    If it rains while the sun is shining, it's because God has blue balls.

    How do Preists in the context get "closer" to God, if their not allowed to marry. Nervermind, I forgot about the alter boys.
    bansheewail
    1 response to this
  • This is something quite wrong. While Sex is part of Love, and young new Generations have to be educated about it, you should not display a picture with a Bible while your boyfriend is touching you don't there.

    The mistake is to mix things up.!
    petarro
  • Evangelical sexologist? That really sounds like an oxymoron.

    If this is a concept that is being adapted by the church as a whole though, it is a brilliant example of how the christian/catholic church can adapt itself to sucker in or keep followers. Just like switching the day of worship from Saturday to Sunday all those centuries ago to draw in Pegans who worshiped the sun.
    Varex_Sythe
  • I can see why some people see a "WTF" label as appropriate, but I don't understand why this is so outrageous. Of course, OF COURSE sex with a loved one should bring you closer to god.
    cottonfish
  • Sex is the only way to have a closer communion with God than pay for His ear or for the Pimp Pastor to show up in style, while you're still eating sardines and pork and beans. Why else do we scream through orgasms: "OH GOD!"
    damush
  • http://current.com/items/88965614_superflip_produced_by...
    here's some sex and religion for all ye blasphemous sickos...
    pressrecord