Pressures of growing up leave girls stressed, anxious and unhappy

I think that's a hard thing to say- growing up is hard, and when you are at a young age everything seems so much more dramatic and important at the time...if anything, the world is much more accepting and open to women to become whatever they want to- hasn't life been made easier for not just girls, but everyone?

this is actually quite interesting. Ive seen and heard of girls in grades 6 going on 'almond diets', or getting drunk and doing 'stuff' with their boyfriends. or even boys selling, smoking, dealing weed and cigarettes of the same age.
its getting younger and younger, because the younger generation will look up at the older and think "that isnt a big deal, its normal." and then they'll do it.

honestly, i have no idea how we can help this issue. maybe start by reducing so much negative media? Many kids are beginning to compare themselves to what they see on billboards and magazines. the population is getting younger and younger.

i definitely think times are getting harder for girls nowadayz. The pressure we as a society put on women an young girls is intense and unhealthy.

I know I felt like that growing up.

I think growing up is always hard. I am shocked at the things kids know at such early ages now. (& I'm an 80's child!) I don't think we're giving kids time to just play in the yard. Everything is hurry up and go!

One of the thing that impresed me the most in england was the fact that young girls feel disappointed when people think the are younger than their actuall age, when in most countries in that would be a compliment.

There is always a rush to look older, have an older lover, have the right age (or at least pretend to have it) to be admited in night clubs.

There is an awfully big amount of teenager moms for a country so developed, especially in the lower middle class, I would say in that matter is almost like any other country in south america (where I come from).

There is way too much preasure on this kids and is not for good reason, is pure materialism. That could be a consequence of a very competitive a globalized society, especially in countries like UK where everything happens and change incredibly fast.

As far as I can tell it's always been like this. In my fifth grade class you were made fun of if you till had your virginity intact. I'm in high school now and can only say it's gotten worse. The media sends such mixed messages to young women today about how they should look or feel.

They flash images of unhealthy looking, scantily clad women in ad campaigns and glorify the so called Beautiful and Glamorous women like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Women do nothing but drink and drug their way into rehab. It's no wonder that girls today are anxious and confused, how can anyone be suprised here?

I long for the day when we hold up real and intelligent women for girls to use as role models such as the late Benazir Bhutto.

Growing up is hard, say what? Geez, who knew?

The worst of pressure for girls growing up these days comes to them in the halls of school, in my opinion. Even when I graduated 6 years ago, girls were constantly given irrational social expectations that are impossible to satisfy. If you're too thin, they whisper about you because you're anorexic. If you're too fat, not a single man will want anything to do with you. If you're a virgin, you're not a woman yet. If you've lost your virginity, you're susceptable to being called a whore. If your hair is straight and plain, you don't wash it properly. If your hair is curly, then you are accused of not brushing. Then, they go home to mom and dad, who are either apathic to their stresses, or are never satisfied with their performance as a human being.

For many girls, life can be one double standard or no-win situation after the next.

I imagine it is similar for boys, although perhaps not as much with appearance.

i do know that i am stressed out for sure, i am not 10 but i am a senior in school and the thought of being by myself is amazing, but fending for myself is very scary. what if i am scared what then? and if i cant pay my rent? of i get sick and i don't have my own health insurance? everything seems a little off kilter for me, id say in the last year i have become stressed, but i wasn't at the age of 10 i was only worried about toys and candy at that age.

I lived in Dallas in 1968 when I was in the 5th grade.
Life was different then...

There were still standards in Television and Movies.

Yes, older kids late teens were getting high and protesting the war but for the most part it didn't effect us.

But we did know of the war via "Uncle" Walter Cronkite.

Maybe girls in my grade knew something of sex but most of us were just kids concerned with getting through the next day of school and doing well on tests.

Today, every single thing is Hyper-sexualized.

Now maybe some of you should think about this....

Is it so good that our nation is like this?

Apparently our youngsters don't think so:(

Premature sexualisation and materialism are indeed forcing youth, girls and boys, to grow up at a faster age. I'm only 23 but can feel the grandpa in myself when I look at youth and think, 'when I was your age the internet was just becoming popular, and no one had a cell phone.' I'm so old!

it's not only girls! that's for sure. i thought it was basically fact growing up is hard.

That is why I am speaking out against domestic violence. Because it starts from home and many young girls get trapped

They should move up the minor-to-adult age from 18 to 20. It would be:

Teens: 13-19
Minors: <20
Adults: 20 and >20

Think about other cultures where girls are married off as soon as they begin menstruation.

You don't really realize how fucked up things are in America until you visit one of our public schools.

Here's the thing:
Some people have the experience where they did not grow up with a lot of sexuality, pressure to look good, etc happening at young ages, some people did. That can be said about every generation, yet every generation seems to think that things were more "pure", "innocent" or "easier" in the past- not true!

imagine the days when 13 or 14 was common to be married- certainly those girls had pressure to grow up that far surpasses what most girls go through today.

i have a feeling that there have always been instances of sex at young ages, the pressure of materialism, etc-it may be different today, but it's nothing new! Stress is part of life.

When cable companies think nothing of putting a soda commercial with Britney Spears strutting around in a bustier on during Sponge bob, advertise erectile dysfunction drugs and birth control pills during G rated programs and many parents assume the schools are teaching morals and values along with core curricula, but don't want sex education taught in schools, our children today are left to figure it out for themselves. Girls are under pressure from media, peers and society in general to grow up too fast, and then we question why they end up confused, depressed and angry. Walk into any girls clothing department and you'll find clothing that's inappropriate for children, pants with hottie on the butt, padded bras for 10 year olds, and midriff baring tops with cherries at the bustline. Kids want to fit in and parents don't say no enough for fear of hurting self esteem and the end result is damaged self image which shows itself as anger and depression.

It all goes along with the culture. Sex is everywhere, magic diets and super models. The parents are too busy to invest the time required to counter balance that influence. Children are impressionable and require boundaries. We let the television raise them and then are surprised when they start acting like the girls on Sex and the City and asking their pediatrician if Zoloft is right for them.

I'm extremely happy that this made top story because no one really gives this issue credence. Because of the internet, kids are watching porn earlier and earlier. It's not enough to be pretty, smart, and successful. Now girls have to add a sexual skill-set if they want to compete. Overeroticizing little girls has proven incredibly lucrative, and so these debilitating marketing practices are let to continue. It's not just Sex in the City or magazines-- the pressure is everywhere they can be judged by a set of eyes.

We teach little girls that they need a man and in order keep a man we can't me the "bitchy girl" so what you find are girls completely kowtowing to their partners in every situation. Something is really topsy-turvy in our society, and the argument that girls had it tougher in the 19th Century is so grossly insensitive to the unique set of problems girls face today.

Girls are still demonized for the things that boys are praised for, like getting laid, getting the drunkest, being wild. Yet we are told to behave like equals. I think this dichotomy is confusing, and a supposed sure way to popularity is suddenly the thing that ostracizes you. This can be heartbreaking.
Also, nine year olds in high heels and make up is a pretty detrimental trend if you ask me.

i agree iOw, not only that but when you come home from school or even just chillin with a friend, and your family ask u whats wrong and u tell them your stressed, they never believe it, and the respose from experience that i even receieved was "how can u be stressed out?!?! your only 12,14,15 (ect) all you have to do is go to school and have fun with friends" and this is a very good article because i see young mothers now that trying to dress there daughters up to look just like them, its not cute people when your daughter is 5 turning 25, its horrific and discusting and parents are to blame espically when you dont control what your kids are subjected too...they are like sponges until @ 14 when they learn to become themselves.
we need to be more supportive and more attentive when it comes to our daughters...babys are having babys, its not a good look.

I feel very sorry for teenage girls in our society today, they have to deal with gang pressure, image pressure, sexual pressure, home pressure.
I was in tesco the other day and noticed that they see underwhere ie thongs and push up bras for 11 year olds!!! this is really sad because these type of pressures lead young girls into thinking that breat enlargment is next on the agenda!!
also all these girls who think glamour modelling and a footballers wife life style is important should also take the blame because there the ones who portray images of how easy it to get what you want by getting your boos out, or slleping with someone famous!! the poor girls need some real influnces!!

Since when haven't teenage and pre-teen girls not been sad? It's a difficult time.

Surely one doesn't need to have a vagina to feel the pressures of adolescence getting to them...?

it is funny that everyone here seems to be focusing on teen girls being stressed by sexuality and hormones...

I see a new kind of stress in the world right now. There is more pressure than ever to know more, to be the best, to always excel, to get into a good school, to be powerful, to put off having a family and have a career... to figure out if you should have either... to wonder if this world is right to have a family in... and the list goes on. I think women of all ages are feeling the pressure of much more than just teen sex and body image. I think those things are still a huge problem but now you can pile on all the rest and you see a girl who doesn't know where to start and cant just relax and have fun.

Whatever happened to just hanging out?

"sometimes feel sad" ? like without a legit reason right?

i only say this because a while ago, maybe when i was thirteen or sometime around then, i went to the doctor for a physical and they gave me a survey thing and one of the questions was "do you ever feel 'down' or 'blue'?" and my logic was well i'm not jumping for joy every second, so yes, i am human and can feel pain. it just struck me as odd.

I'm too young to remember what it's like to be happy (40 yo), but my mother assures me that people were a great deal happier 60 years ago. She blames materialism, and having traveled extensively in developing nations I would have to agree. People in the west are angry, depressed and paranoid - the rest of the world is smiling and singing. That's been my experience anyhow.

There's a simple solution... Mothers, Sisters, Aunts, female Cousins (women in general), need to stop perpetuating the myth, "you need a man in your life to be happy". Or, "You need to fit in to be happy", or "You need to show interest in girly things to be normal". Add to that the image of women that girls are forced to look at 24/7 whether it be on tv, mags, and even in school. Or how about the whole "Women need to have babies to be a complete woman". Or, "You need a husband, 2.5 kids, and a pet to be a complete family". And now add to that, "You need to have a career & be a full time mom to be respected or a complete woman".

In my opinion women are responsible for the role they feel they need to fill to be a "complete woman". Even if men perpetuated this stereotype and said they needed for women to be a certain way, straight men are nothing without women. Even gay men need women in their lives, or else it feels a little empty not having yourself a "fag hag" or "queer peer" to hang with.

Women have always had the upper hand and instead of taking their cue from "Eve" and taking control of their situation, they believe the evil words that men drill into their head and think if they are content and happy on their own they are somehow cheating themselves and their families out of "true happiness".

Look, it comes down to what you (women) think they need in their lives to be happy. If they think they need popularity, men, a baby, a family of their own, their family's blessing, or anything else but their own perspective on happiness to be truly happy, then they will always have a problem growing up. No matter what society has to say about it, women and girls need to take back their independence and self identity and own it.

They need to realize a man (or woman for the lesbies) shouldn't complete them, but compliment them, a family shouldn't be a neccesity, it should be a step in the process of having a meaningful relationship with someone if they both want a baby. Popularity should never be a need or a want, individuality and a strong sense of self should be encouraged and developed through positive reinforcement of the positive attributes one possesses and constructive criticism about the personality traits or behaviour that could hold them back (this of course would be on a "case by case" basis and dependent on the aspirations and goals of the individual). And last but not least, women need to stop telling other women they need someone in their lives other than themselves to be happy.

Once you love and know yourself, it's much easier to find a partner who will compliment you and vice versa. When you have all the preconceived notions of happiness out of your head, you can have a clearer vision of what would make you "truly happy". It shouldn't be dependent on the majority rule, or what everyone else is telling you.

Like I said, I am not saying you shouldn't ask for advice, or that if you're a mother and have a daughter you shouldn't guide them when they are children. I just feel that all these pressures are not perpetrated because men want it that way, but rather because women allow it to remain the same by giving in to those preconceived notions of what makes them happy.

Women need to own their lives, rather than leasing it to all notions they're told will make them happy.

I think a lot of the time it comes down to how these children are raised. Personally, i believe children who grow up in happy two parent households, with a sufficient income and a general 'happy vibe' to live in, generally lead happier lives.

a lot of children are not taught the morals and ideals that children are supposed to be taught, and no one ever thinks to blame the parents for this; the media and their negative influence is always to blame...but who actually allows their young children to watch programmes of such a negtaive and mature nature?

Personally i led a very sheltered life with regards to that, my parents followed what i watched/listened to carefully and taught me the morals/ideals i needed to live happily. It simply does come down to how these children are brought up.

Society places so much value on the appearance of females. The message from TV, magazines, and advertising is that if you're female, you have to be attractive to be valuable. But men can be rewarded for intelligence, humor, etc. It's really sad and frankly, pretty fucked-up.

Another contributing factor in this is that most sexually active teenage girls are taught that their sexuality, which is perfectly normal, is something they should be ashamed of. A girl who has sex might be a slut, whore, or whatever, while a guy is socially rewarded for the same thing. Masturbation and being sexually active (or trying to) are both considered inevitable in teenage boys. It's a constant double-standard.

Now combine the two. Does anyone else see a really conflicting message we're sending girls here? "To count, you have to be sexy. Just don't do anything that indicates you're actually interested in sex, because that would make you a slut."

It's no wonder girls are stressed, anxious and unhappy.

I think growing up for a guy or a gurl is hard expecally livin in certian living condiontion can make things worse. Most kids growing up wanna grow up faster, saying i wish i was 18 , so some try to act older anyway. But i know its harder for gurls cuz they do care about what they look like and to see a "beautiful" modle or cleb on tv or in a mag half naked with her boobs all hanging out its like i need to look like that. For gurls who are chubby it makes them feel bad about them selves from the get go. Or gurls who dont think there pretty may sleep around to feel good about themselves like there wanted. I know going threw some of the horrors n pains of my life and living threw it at such a young age really messed me up when i was little. I would be so numb n depressed i never smiled. Id have anixty problems and i started to use when i was in middle school. It was hard for me becuz i had to grow up so fast i never really had a stable n good child hood. Memories where too hard to handle.Going into high school didnt help it either it just got worse (me) n my drug problem. Teachers tell me i was just mad at the world. Growing up i changed alot even tho still to this day i struggle with things that happen but i totally can get what they are saying but its not just gurls its guys too guys just hide it better

You know its real f*cked up when young girls have to feel a certain way because of society. I remember these feelings most strong in school and i know most girls do. We the parents should regulate better at home and see how our baby girl is maturing...a mothers presence is the strongest presence for our little ladies so woman need to keep themselves strong, educated and aware of there baby girls!