Mission Fucking Accomplished, or My God is Bigger than Your God

The war is over, and we have won.

Saddam is dead, or at least not very visible. Our troops have returned home, save for the odd hundred thousand or so who linger on in Iraq, perhaps sight-seeing. And all of Iraq is grateful that the international coalition led by the United States (and, in the amusing sidekick role, England) has brought a thriving secular democracy to this land of sand and sand. Except for the ones who are shooting us. Or blowing shit up.

So let us give thanks to God, without whom none of this would have necessary. For he is nothing if not a big God. A Michael Clarke Duncan sort of God, only lighter, and with hair. Few know this better than Lt. Gen. William Jerry Boykin, the former commander of the Army Special Forces and a man who has led or been part of almost every recent U.S. military operation." The general laid it on the line when he said, in regards to a Muslim fighter in Somalia: "my God was bigger than his."

Now some might complain that this is just another example of the gross cultural insensitivity which started with Operation Infinite Justice (the original name for the Afghan war, which George Bush also called a crusade) and contains to this very day when Americans refer to EYE-raq instead of EAR-raq, the way the rest of the world pronounces it (and, indeed, the pronunciation preferred by many Iraqis).

But that would be missing the point.

While our God, the Christian God (and the God of non-obstructionist Jews) is clearly the bigger God today, what about tomorrow? What if the Muslim God is getting up early and running, then hitting the heavy bag, cooling down and eating a sensible lunch, and sparring for several rounds in the afternoon? Each day?

And what if the Christian God is taking it easy, just watching television and eating manna chips? What if our God is turning out to be like Rocky in Rocky III, or George Foreman in real life?

You see, the war may be over, but the battle is just beginning.

And that battle stretches for as far the eye can see. It is a battle of good versus evil, a battle of Republican versus Democrat, a battle of honest, hard-working flatlanders versus coastal urban elites, a battle of all those who love this country unflinchingly and reflexively versus those who hate this country or, perhaps, are simply more sophisticated in their affection. It is, in a word, the mother of battles. It is a war.

Which is why Pro-War.com has returned.