The secret to staying madly in love

Hmm I always thought you had to choose between a forever passionate but dysfunctional relationship or a less passionate healthy one. Perhaps this research will show that I am wrong.

from article:
"...the ratio of positive to negative comments during a row (i.e. “that's a good point, dear”, versus “you idiot”). Positive words must outnumber the negative by five to one. Below this, trouble looms. "

wow. really? thanks science!!! :)

what if love is not a chemical reaction in the brain but rather the all-pervading resting state of the universe that we must attune ourselves to in order to take part? we are not giving or receiving love but rather are vessels in which it passes through.
(i think that it will be tough to do astudy on that one tho)

when speaking of the place where love lights up brain:
"The ventral tegmental area lies at the primitive centre of the brain and monitors how well various fundamental human needs are being satisfied. Addictive drugs such as cocaine target this pleasure area, too."

that does not seem like a healthy kind of love...

The study didn't say if the subjects spouses 'intensely' loved them back...
So the study really doesn't have anything to do with relationships.

Like anything else, making it work seems like a combination of luck and hard work.

Evolution has and will never care about our feelings! But there are some lucky ones out there.

love is about letting go. if you can figure that out, its easy as pie. on a side note, i hate that expression, cuz every time i've tried baking a pie i've screwed it up.

Yup, letting go sounds good to me, but to let go, you have to be comfortable with yourself...

that is part of it. be comfortable with yourself however you are. fat skinny old young black white whatever. you shouldn't have to work at it, just be it. if you have a problem, fix it. if you don't have the will to change, then you better not complain about it.

letting go of yourself, and not in the i'm gonna be in the kitchen eating away my emotions but understanding that the you are not important. you, are insignificant. you, are a grain of sand on the beach of time.

let go and understand that 99% of this world and life we live is unimportant. for love, that other person is what is important. do you let it run your world? no. do you run your own world? no.

let go of what you know. money, fame, power, clothes, shoes, cars, none of that is important. you can have them, and enjoy them, but it should not be your driving purpose. love is unconditional, that means nothing changes it. if something changes what you think you feel, it wasn't true love. infatuations can last up to two years. anyone see the coincidence between that and high turnover marriage and divorce rates among young people, who think they know what they are doing and think they are in love? (long sentence, sorry)

people, relationships, love, life itself. enjoy them while you can. realize its going to be how its going to be and there's almost nothing you can do to change it

I have always found that love, passion, and commitment go hand in hand, and take much effort. I would agree on the 5 to 1 compliment ratio, as well as, completely avoiding demeaning and derogatory statements, even in general usage. As a husband, the greatest single lesson I have learned through the years is that women are naturally hormonal and when they start screaming for no reason, remain calm at all cost. This too shall pass.

And a wife will NEVER forget how her husband responded or the things he said, when she was angry. And vice-versa.

i still love my right hand every other night....

just couldnt resist.

This is an awesome find...
Now if they can just give us a clue in how to exercise and use that part of the brain better so we can make our relationships be like they we want them to be...

". Now the team plans to brain-scan new couples over years to see how various life events can switch this brain area on or off - a finding that may help us to see how we might best manipulate these circuits."

I want it now dammit !

I wish I knew what a successful relationship looked like, it seems my generation is constantly being left to wonder if it's even possible

So now when you want someone to love you, just wire them up and zap the love zone in their brain. Whala! instant passion.

This is a perfect perfect example of where science should not go. I don't want to know the results of this study...

If you love someone, does it mean you have to like them too?

I love my kids and husband more than life itself, but, there are times that I don't like them very much

I'm a romantic poet and as such I think romantic love never ends, at least I was right in that :P

If you want somenone to be in love with you , seduction is the word , just keep them guessing all the time, because if a woman knows you thats it the magic is over .
Use your imagination , dont get use to the same rutine ,change things everyday women love it.
You will have women eating from your hand and they will love you and never forget you.
Look at the story of casanova.

you gotta like the person your with first off.
Having common interests helps, as well as filling each others weak spots.Then its all about honesty, compromise, and not taking the person you love for granted.

MM, why does science want to research Love? Isn't it suposed to be a natural emotion?

well... i don't know if it has to do with a part of the brain but i do hope i can love my boy forever... he's ace xx

"awww..." I know girls will say with a smile. =) I might agree with them

I remember my parents used to have these two love-bird canaries. For years they chirped and hopped and flew around eachother. But when one died...the other one fell clearly despondent and depressed. Needless to say, he didn't last long without his "soul" mate. He died only a few days later.

so how could something so dumb and coldly impersonal as "evolution" result in such affective love and companionship? Wouldn't we all just be a bunch of dumb, uncaring mindless fuqs? Seems to me even a bird brain knows better. Evolution is just so coarse and gross in that the theory just so conveniently neglects all the finer things that even many of us take for granted.

A.) Develop one hell of a highly overactive imagination.

B.) Change the person you're in love with as needed.

C.) Try using drugs to fill the void.

D.) Hope you're lucky enough to find one of the people that puts you in that very small percentage.

hmm, i think continuing passion is possible as long as neither side start taking the other for granted or start getting used to them. key to this? keep leading your own independent lives, travel lots, alone or with others, pursue your own dreams and careers. I reckon both sides would appreciate the other a lot more when they come home.

Helen Fisher was actually at NYU recently where she gave a presentation just about this. It was so interesting and accurate. I do believe that "love and passion" is all scientifical like it is explained in this article, however, it's also nice to think that we have some control over our feelings and such.

and where the hell is Neghie on this subject? =P