Get on TV: Haiku Movie Review for the Last Film You Saw

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- jlichman
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So we're switching up the Haiku this week! Instead of DVD-based, we want your 5-7-5 submission to be about the last film you saw!
Sure, it can be about Crank: High Voltage, 17 Again or State of Play--but maybe you were like me and watched Death Wish V: The Crackdown this weekend, or you saw Grey Gardens on HBO.
Basically, hit us up in the comments with your Haiku and you may see it on air this week.
Just, please: no couplets.
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- groups:
- Comedy, Movies, Upstream, Max and Jason: Still Up, 6 more
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- tags:
- Movies, Film, movies_featured, Poetry, 4 more
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reallivegirl
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Antichrist
All you need to know:
GENITAL MUTILATION!!!
Just SAYING it hurts. - 4 months ago
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reallivegirl
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reallivegirl
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"Year One"
Out on DVD
Even worse than critics say
Wow...it's just...so...bad - 4 months ago
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reallivegirl
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reallivegirl
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"Good Hair"
Lovely black women,
All these toxic chemicals?!?
Leave your hair alone! - 4 months ago
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reallivegirl
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reallivegirl
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Where the Wild Things Are
Gandolfini plays
A big, mean, scary monster
I blame typecasting! - 4 months ago
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reallivegirl
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reallivegirl
- This comment has been removed.
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reallivegirl
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Jeff_Clark
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State of Play
Russell Crowe says down
with bloggers and Blackwater
called another name - 4 months ago
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Jeff_Clark
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gsystem888
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Saw
Terrible Acting
Stupid Twist Ending
Why does everybody love it? - 5 months ago
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gsystem888
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EdJoyProductions
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Halloween 2
Why Rob Zombie Why
Corpses Rejects awesome fare
H2 cable view - 5 months ago
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EdJoyProductions
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remanns
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And then there's the story, the biggest risk of all, about a major screen comedian (Adam Sandler) who finds out that he has a rare blood disease with a grim prognosis. But don't let this stop you. "Funny People" is anything but morbid and there's nothing maudlin or laugh-clown-laugh about it.
Apatow trusts in "Funny People" that his audience will find interesting what he finds interesting - the world of comedy, the people in it and the people drawn to it.
Mick LaSalle, Chronicle Movie Critic
Friday, July 31, 2009
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/07/31/MVTE1911GH.DTL#ixzz0RD4FgxGH
- 5 months ago
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remanns
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remanns
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funny people
not SO funny
smiled, cried;
not comedy. - 5 months ago
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remanns
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ellatalk
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9
9 defeats wall-e
as post apocalyptic
robot thingy, thing. - 5 months ago
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ellatalk
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Tsng
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District 9:
Xenophobes at arms
Subjugate prawns, but one learns:
Can't beat 'em, join 'em! - 6 months ago
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Tsng
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texxytoe
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stunning are the phasers set
stunning are ohuras legs long and brown
this movie stunned me good - 8 months ago
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texxytoe
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daftdreams
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Bridge To Terabithia
Imagination,
Fun when you are twelve years old,
Unless you are dead. - 9 months ago
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daftdreams
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comixguru
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X-Men Origins: WOLVERINE
Wolvie is da MAN!
Special Effects, really bad
Can't wait for sequel - 9 months ago
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comixguru
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SadToots
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Coraline:
Oh, wow, that's crazy
Holy crap did you see that
it's so... I mean, dang - 10 months ago
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SadToots
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InnerUniverse
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The Godfather part 1
Blahblahblahblahblah
Brando's cute little accent
everybody dies - 10 months ago
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InnerUniverse
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batsandsuch
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Hannah montana movie:
Spoiled popstar learns
Riding cowboys ain't to bad
the best of both worlds - 10 months ago
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batsandsuch
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bryterjonas
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HAPPINESS(1998) by Todd Solondz
Masturbation art
Cynical people all fall
Laugh and cry, it's life - 10 months ago
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bryterjonas
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alexshep
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Accepted:
Kid starts a college
Dude wears a hot dog costume
Glen makes some good wads - 10 months ago
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alexshep
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alexshep
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The Royal Tenenbaums:
Three kid prodigies
Two track-suited little boys
One awesome movie - 10 months ago
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alexshep
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hansvlitz
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Accepted:
Fake College called SHIT.
Kid blows shit up with his mind
Not a shit movie - 10 months ago
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hansvlitz
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nattywoohoo
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Marie Antoinette--
give me my two hours back
And let me eat cake. - 10 months ago
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nattywoohoo
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Monkeybicycle
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He's Just Not That Into You
Why am I watching?
Cultural stereotypes
Not that into it - 10 months ago
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Monkeybicycle
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chunche
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Obssessed
Beyoncé can fight!
Kicking Ali Larter's butt
Idris is the prize. - 10 months ago
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chunche
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hemogoblins
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
It does not matter
What color Kate Winslet dyes
Her hair--we see roots. - 10 months ago
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hemogoblins
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neodobby
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Tyson:
The Real Iron Man
Strong, Powerful, Poetic
Gentle, Mike...Tyson - 10 months ago
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neodobby
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falsemirror
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The Informers
rich tanned white kids brood
ellis loses his bite here
where's the vampire?The Last House on the Left (Original)
parents seek revenge
in the best way they know how
mom bites off weiner!Wacthmen
comic comes to life
complete with slo-mo action
minus the big squid - 10 months ago
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falsemirror
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falsemirror
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The Informers
rich tanned white kids brood
ellis loses his bite here
where's the vampire?The Last House on the Left (Original)
parents seek revenge
in the best way they know how
mom bites off weiner!Wacthmen
comic comes to life
complete with slo-mo action
minus the big squid - 10 months ago
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falsemirror
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falsemirror
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The Informers
rich tanned white kids brood
ellis loses his bite here
where's the vampire?The Last House on the Left (Original)
parents seek revenge
in the best way they know how
mom bites off weiner!Wacthmen
comic comes to life
complete with slo-mo action
minus the big squid - 10 months ago
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falsemirror
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falsemirror
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The Informers
rich tanned white kids brood
ellis loses his bite here
where's the vampire?The Last House on the Left (Original)
parents seek revenge
in the best way they know how
mom bites off weiner!Wacthmen
comic comes to life
complete with slo-mo action
minus the big squid - 10 months ago
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falsemirror
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hansvlitz
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The Royal Tenenbaums:
quirky family
dad tries to get back in it
best movie ever - 10 months ago
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hansvlitz
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laurensimpson
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Obsessed:
All my single white
female ladies, Beyonce
will dumbly kill you. - 10 months ago
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laurensimpson
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Oleta
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FF7: Advent Children
CGI Greatness
Tetsuya is my hero
Cloud is still emo - 10 months ago
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Oleta
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asherp
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Good God! Haikus, man!
"Five! seven! five!" is the way!
What the hell's this crap? - 10 months ago
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asherp
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numinant
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asherp:
That's just the most commonly recognized form.
- 10 months ago
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numinant
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asherp
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asherp:
Also the only
form recognized here on this
Current TV show(in haiku form again!)
- 10 months ago
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asherp
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BADKarma
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Dragonball: Evolution
Being a demon
Causes permanent bed-head,
Or so it would seem. - 10 months ago
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BADKarma
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hedonic
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The Soloist
LA news man meets
schizophrenic musician
proves homelessness sucks - 10 months ago
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hedonic
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baccara
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baccara
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baccara
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Catwoman:
worst movie ever.
Halle! You won an oscar-
did you lose a bet?Sex and the City:
weddings, babies, clothes.
can I be chic rich white chick?
(Cattrall... time to stop)The Number 23:
two plus 8 is five.
than that less sense this plot makes.
"numbers... are... ME?" BORED. - 10 months ago
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baccara
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MastersOfNonePodcast
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Wolverine leaked out.
Not bad, unfinished effects.
Damn, computer froze. - 10 months ago
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MastersOfNonePodcast
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rolandtaverner
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Happy-Go-Lucky:
Is Sally Hawkins Crazy
Or is she appropriately cheery
It's your opinion - 10 months ago
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rolandtaverner
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AestheticDiabetic
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17 again:
O M G so hot
movie wants you to look deeper
aw screw it, he's hot - 10 months ago
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AestheticDiabetic
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escarondito
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Children of men
Clive, everyday man
To save babies, he journeys
the big sperm that could - 10 months ago
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escarondito
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thatspanishkid
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17 again
sorry zak you suck
only one funny bit in
star wars geek was gud - 10 months ago
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thatspanishkid
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elemacd
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Maltese Falcon
Peter Lorie, villain
Humphrey, the hero,
and the dame - 10 months ago
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elemacd
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elemacd
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solaris
out in space
where is hal to save you?
sorry George - 10 months ago
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elemacd
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Kanus
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Bronson:
Why so angry Mike?
One day you will be famous,
A British Hero - 10 months ago
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Kanus
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ApprenticeDentist
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Hard Target (John Woo) - late night korean tv.
'What a very long coat
Wow, slow-motion explosion
I like extreme zooms' - 10 months ago
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ApprenticeDentist
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drnknjbbrsh
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Saving Private Ryan:
No, seriously.
How'd this film lose best picture
To Shakespeare in Love? - 10 months ago
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drnknjbbrsh
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drnknjbbrsh
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Volver:
In any language,
Penelope Cruz is hot.
Me gusta mucho! - 10 months ago
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drnknjbbrsh
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drnknjbbrsh
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Cliffhanger:
Sly v. John Lithgow.
Sly drops girl in beginning,
Lithgow in the end. - 10 months ago
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drnknjbbrsh
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thenomenclator
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In Synecdoche,
cuckolded Caden loses
what he can't direct. - 10 months ago
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thenomenclator
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ashleyj
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The Watchmen:
Oh, big, blue penis
You graced each frame so lovely
Creating envy - 10 months ago
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ashleyj
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cindy_lou
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Eagle Eye
She can see you run
Controlling computer eye
Crashes, chases, LOVE - 10 months ago
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cindy_lou
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ryanking
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Girl, Interrupted:
Crazy 60s girl
Takes Whoopi over Jolie
Yep, she is crazy - 10 months ago
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ryanking
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chelseaf89
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Slumdog Millionaire
Poor Indian wins money
Fate reunites love - 10 months ago
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chelseaf89
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Moldymoldy
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Grey Gardens:
tea for two and two
for- the love of eccentrics!
not bad- but poor cats :( - 10 months ago
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Moldymoldy
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hemogoblins
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Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Peter Sellers is
Everywhere. Oh look, there's James
Earl Jones. Whoops. Dropped bombs. - 10 months ago
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hemogoblins
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rolandtaverner
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Yes Man:
Jim Carrey toned down
Kind of cute but very forgettable
YES YES! - 10 months ago
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rolandtaverner
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treymadstone
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Crank 2
Feels like a bad movie,
Smells like a bad movie
Yet, I enjoyed it a lot17 Again
Zac Efron has a six pack and is sexy
But wait, he grows up to become Mathew Perry!,
The Horror, The Horror - 10 months ago
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treymadstone
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ItsCabby
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Hannah Montanna:
Yummy Spoon Fed Plot
So Many Wardrobe Changes
Now do the hoe down - 10 months ago
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ItsCabby
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jimenagamio
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grey gardens
wrinkly drew barrymore
big edith is a big fat meany
tripplehorn is jacquelines twin - 10 months ago
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jimenagamio
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SadToots
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"I'm not there":
these six Bob Dylans:
impossible to follow.
nobody "gets" it. - 10 months ago
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SadToots
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WeJustGotBetter
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The Darjeeling Limited:
Three weird brothers
One unlikely adventure
Okay: stop it now. - 10 months ago
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WeJustGotBetter
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donkeyfly69
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watchmen
giant blue penis.
much better than x-men, so...
don't kill with sequel. - 10 months ago
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donkeyfly69
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asherp
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"Hells Angels On Wheels" a 1970s era pseudo-documentary (think "Hair" but without dance numbers) starring Jack Nicholson as a punk who joins a neo-nazi/hippy biker gang known as "Hells Angels San Fransisco"
nonsensical plot
what's up with the swastikas?
so many fist-fights! - 10 months ago
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asherp
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asherp
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"OVER THE TOP" a 1980-ish film starring Sylvester Stallone, a giant truck, and the sport of armwrestling
Wow! Arm Wrestling!
To win back his son's respect
That dude just drank oil!? - 10 months ago
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asherp
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drnknjbbrsh
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asherp:
Yes!!!! Bring your index finger and middle finger over your thumb and its an automatic arm wrestling WIN!!!
- 10 months ago
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drnknjbbrsh
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asherp
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asherp:
YOU KNOW THIS MOVIE?! That makes me so happy!
- 10 months ago
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asherp
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psphenom
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Dragonball: You Sucked
No Easy Way to Say It
Sorry for Your Luck - 10 months ago
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psphenom
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falsemirror
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17 again
efron is pretty
watch his hair sway to and fro
abs gleam and glistenstar trek: the wrath of khan
i'm not a trek fan
but this film wasn't half bad
drama, phasers, KHAAAAAAAAN!!!the birds
calm bodega bay
why do they seek fierce vengeance?
chirp, squawk, claw, peck, death - 10 months ago
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falsemirror
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coldmilk
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Adventureland:
standard dramedy
only joke; Huge Ass Panda
It's not Superbad - 10 months ago
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coldmilk