The Hours: Uncivil Disunion

Just a note on the person who commented that every child deserves a mother and a father:

Shall we outlaw divorce? (Currently at 50% rate in the US) What do we then do about uninvolved parents?

If a parent dies, should we force the widowed parent to remarry because the child deserves a mother and a father?

Must children be forced to live with an abusive parent because they "deserve" a mother and father?

Yes, two parent homes are certainly desirable. I fail to see why the two parents must be of opposite gender.

In an age where families are often dysfunctional and challenged, we should celebrate that there are people who love each other and are committed to forming families often with children...regardless of gender combination.

SeaMex - I posted a brief synopsis of Jo and my story in the Letters/Stories section on your forum. Feel free to repost what I wrote and include the Current.com link (which was actually to the latest, television edited version of this documentary.)

Thanks for providing another outlet with which to share the story. Your letter is very moving and I understand the frustration. It is my feeling with most political candidates that "believing in" something (such as equal rights for GLBTQ people) does not necessarily mean that a political leader will do anything to enact change.

This is a copy of a letter sent to Barack Obama.

Mr. Obama, Put your money where your mouth is. You have publicly stated you support the Uniting American Families Act, But you are not a cosponsor of the bill. You also say you are for Civil Rights but you want to continue to deny mine. So what if I chose to marry a man or a woman. Who cares if a black man marries a white woman? Where is the separation of church and state? Don’t expect me to vote for you when you would have me continue to sit in the back of the bus. Marriage equality is for all US citizens not just some. You should understand this better than any other candidate. What gives? There are 40,000 Bi-National same sex couples that are watching very closely to see if Change is really something we can believe in. It breaks my heart when the person I love has to see his puppy over a web cam from another country and cry’s because he can’t be here at our home in Seattle to watch her grow up. This is wrong and must end. Please don’t be a President who promises the world but does noting after being elected.
Please feel free to respond by email or phone.

SeaMex@4UAFA.com

(This will also be posted on our website.)

Another great example of our civil rights being violated. Brittany please visit 4UAFA.com and share your story. It’s a forum for people to share and help the Uniting American Families Act pass. Help be part of the solution. Great video and a very moving story. Thank you for not just sitting in the back of the bus.

If anyone would like to help give the issue of binational same sex couples greater visibility, I encourage you to email the link to this video to Ellen Degeneres through her website:

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/show/respond/?PlugID=10

And thanks again to everyone who left supportive comments regarding The Hours: Uncivil Disunion! Tori and Marggy did a great job on this video, and I have been touched and filled with hope to see the responses it drew from people!

I'm pretty sure I popped out a few tears there toward the end. I'm pulling for you... and others with similar stories.
=]

I agree (that they were raised by someone wonderful)

Any thoughts as to why this video has gotten negative reviews lately? I think it may have more to do with subject matter than professionalism and quality editing... BUT MAYBE THAT'S JUST ME...

You girls are awesomely talented!

Obviously, you were raised by someone wonderful!

Hats off to young people who think critically, celebrate diversity, and take a stand! Whoo-hoo!

soleil10, which god do you bow down to?

Jesus, Jehovah, The Heavenly Father, The Holy Spirit

What is your dogma? What is your authority?

a book written by a human such as the bible? such as every religious book? so i should believe the word of human as truth? no doubt it would be an interesting read but no more valid than any other the others - thank you for giving me the info tho im always interested in learning new possibilities and theory's.

My life as a women married to a women will not affect anyone in this chat room or most in the world day by day bar my wife, i do not need or desire or even want everyone to agree with my lifestyle nor religion nor anything.

i for one understand that every human is entitled to their own opinion and their own beliefs but we all need to live here, which is where the problem lays, it doesn't matter if its my sexuality or race or colour or sex im human and im not hurting anyone.

children have the right to love and safety and a future which in this day and age is not being given to most of the worlds children, infact most children these days dont have contact to there dad as the rate of solo mums is getting higher and higher - what of those children? at least mine will have two loving parents which seems to much to ask for in this day and age, my children will be teased yes, but so will yours for having a big nose or being to skinny or too large or having pimples or any number of things.

Perhaps the next generation will be more accepting of humans instead of fighting and pushing others aside.

it actually isn't a big deal. it may in fact for you as you obviously have personal issues with this subject just as others have personal issues struggles with racism, sexism religion etc. but its not my problem, its yours.

i've found what ive always wanted, my soul mate, best friend, companion etc and i just so happened to find it in a female.... big fucking deal.

cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it.

im against the the division of humans and i will always think that is more important than a pathetic competition of who's right and who's wrong.

I am sorry "One man and one woman"

Jobi- You shoud read a book called A genetic Odyssey ,The journey of man by Spencer Wells.

He retraces humanity genetically to one an and one woman in Africa 60,000 years ago.

Thanks, Jo, for adding yourself on here and for writing even though (once again) it just means you have to defend yourself because you are in a relationship with me. I love you and nothing will change that. And despite what other people may believe, our love is valid and always will be.

And when we have children they will have positive role models who are both male and female, and they will know that it is not biology that matters, but heart. And that love is the ultimate blessing and the ultimate foundation of a family - regardless of whether that family is what most of my country considers normal.

I'm against gay marriage.
Children have the right to a father and a mother. That right should not be denied to children.

So goes the family ........so goes the nation

This is a huge deal

So i've been following all this and finally decided i should probably say something since this all involves me.

First the "american Spirit" (im a new zealander so i guess am not entitled to hold this?) really has no control over the american government which bluntly doesn't want to accept me because i am in love with a female american and not a male american.

Apparently in america gender describes how your life should be - does this mean i should be in the kitchen cooking, making sure to not express my opinions?

How would that have gone for mother theresa and what would the world have lost? how can america have gone thru the freedom of slaves, the voting and equality of women (still on its way) etc and not realise the importance of individuality and acceptance of differences amongst us all.

Hows that for american spirit perhaps im glad to poses the new zealand spirit?!

Love has in fact found a way thru the eyes of the New Zealand Government who has decided to grab its balls (or other considering we have a female prime minister) and stand up for humans as humans instead of continually stereotyping and trying to squeeze other humans into their boxes - whether personal or religion orientated.

Granted we do not have Gay Marriage this is a sign that as people we can come together and negotiate putting aside religion and differences and realizing WE ARE ALL HUMAN and we all deserve to be treated as so.

Religion has come from humans, the bible was written "by god thru people" and im sure Britt can tell you all about how little the bible has about homosexuality and how the way it has been interpreted is not the only way and off course the good ol story of Ruth and whomever... im not the one who knows this stuff due to religious beliefs of my own which differ to this.

Humans have decided what is write and wrong for them and others have come to their own decisions. the greatest example of this is that i am discriminated, judged and labeled by people who say what i do is wrong yet their religion started with two single individuals who populated the earth - i believe in other circumstances they would call this incest and label it as not only wrong but most likely a ultimate sin?! Not to mention the "strike the first stone" and "judging" which is contradictory to their beliefs.

Humans make errors and humans decide what is right and what is wrong. but how can so few humans decide what is right and wrong for everyone?

I would like nothing more than to become an american citizen to stay with my wife, however america seems to be stuck on right and wrong rather than looking at the humans involved. Stuck on how things look rather than how its effecting people on an every day basis. the inability to look around and see we are all different and that its a good thing.

my aim here is not to put down any other religion or belief or try to change others to the beliefs i hold. my aim is to open ppl to the idea that maybe just maybe were all human and we all love and does it actually matter if two women fall in love - does it actually change anything.

ive never had a stronger relationship with god than i do know which tells me that god really doesn't give a flying toss if i date a women or not. in fact its humans who do.

Who am i to judge you for your beliefs, lifestyle or personal attributes and who are you to judge me for who i love?

"If i try to be him, who will be me?" - jewish saying

After saying all of this i would like to really seriously ask the question of "why is this such a huge deal?"

relax, chill stop pulling out little things to prove your right and why the other person is wrong and come together as humans realizing there will be differences and be big enough to agree to disagree, this way we perhaps can live in harmony.

what a place that would be.

The fact is, it's extremely, extremely hard to become an America citizen. It's not an attitude, it's just the truth. That's why there are so many people who live here illegally. There are just all kinds of loops and hoops you have to go through. I suggest you look up how difficult it actually is and how long it actually takes.

I think this lady should try to become a United States Citizen. I think her attitude that it is to hard to become a citizen is contrary to the American Spirit. I am for "civil unions" or domestic partnerships. I do not feel sorry for these two. Love will find a way.

Beautifully done. It touched my heart.

Brittars- Yes marriage have been civil and religious but always between man and woman. For me human are spiritual first. Our physical body will die but not our spirit. I believe that sexual relationships are physical, emotional and spiritual. Two lineages are coming together Originally it was the point where man, woman and God come together. I do not know your personnal faith but since the fall when Adam and Eve hid their sexual organ in shame, everyone has struggled with their sexuality.(What was the forbiden fruit ?).The first dysfunctional family was formed.

To come back to your comment couples who cant have children can still adopt. Couples who do not want a descendance do exist. There are other issues there.
Considering your point about animals, I do not think it is a valid point because Humans are not animals.Some animals like the Salmon are being eaten by their children once thy die. Does that mean we should do the same. We could go on and on about animals behavior.
Yes I will go outside in a few minutes.
Thanks for sharing

Hooray for intelligent conversation! Intelligent, respectful conversation at that.

Soleil10 if you're still around -

I personally have no problem with civil unions as long as the same benefits of a marriage are allotted to its participants. For me it gets down to semantics, and at this point my largest reason for wanting to be able to get a civil union would be to keep Jo in the country. But I can also see very clearly the side of people for whom marriage is the only goal, and the only thing that they will accept.

Having marriage as a contract between two people of the same sex would rock a lot of people's deepest eternal beliefs - you are definitely right about that. Putting it in this language makes it (to me) very clearly a religious issue. Let's say it's a conservative Christian issue, hypothetically, although we all know there aren't a whole lot of religious traditions anywhere that are okay with gay! As a conservative Christian issue, I guess I don't understand why allowing homosexuals to marry (interestingly, now a government function despite its roots in the church) would be any worse than the fact that currently atheists (as well as members of religious groups that are in complete opposition to Christianity) are allowed to marry.

So say it's not explicitly a religious issue, but rather one of the deep belief in general that marriage is about procreation. This rules out husbands and/or wives who are simply unable to bear children. Or heterosexual couples who want to marry without producing offspring.

Beyond that, there's just sort of a pervasive belief in this country and elsewhere that homosexuality is "unnatural." But if we actually look to nature, there is plenty of evidence towards homosexual behavior. Often this is because of overpopulation, but there have been cases amongst animals whose population is just fine or even dangerously low (i.e. dolphins and other sea mammals) who have monogamous, lifelong relationships with partners of the same sex.

I assume that I'm not presenting you with any new information here, you seem to know your stuff - but thought I'd throw out these ideas anyway!

I think if I had a better sense of what exactly you meant by "deepest eternal beliefs" I could see your point more. Feel free to elaborate, please. I grew up Episcopalian and am still actively involved in the church. And yes - while the greater Anglican community is peeved off at those of us who are in favor of gay clergy members, blessing of same sex unions, et al, I don't think that this is by any means a unique situation. Unfortunately Christian denominations have been splintering themselves since the very beginning, over issues like this, over issues of women in the church, over issues of how to pray and when and where, how young is too young to baptize, how often should we take communion... etc. The list goes on and on.

Maybe the problem is that NO one is being respectful of anyone else. I'd like to say there needs to be compromise on both sides here (there definitely does) but currently I just feel as if there needs to be more give from the conservative Right than from the gay community. Gahh... what a cunundrum.

Hope you are well, wherever you are. It's a really nice day here so I think I should get off the computer and go play outside.

So happy to see this video has created intelligent conversation! It's a noble goal to bring a silent issue to the surface. Fabulous job.

Brittars, you got a good point about continuously attempting to protect our minority groups.
I believe the Gay community instead of settling for civil unions is making a huge mistake by trying to re-interpret and hijack the meaning of marriage dear to so many people as it has been since the beginning of this country. It is forcing on the great majority to change their core values and own identity. It will fraction this country where people will decide to live in a state where they can live according to their deepest eternal beliefs. Just take the example of the Anglican church which has desintegrated over the issue of homosexuality. You are reversing the laws of marriage entirely. Many people will not accept marriage if it means a same sex relationship. The gay activists are showing no respect to others.

Soleil-

Yes, in a democracy the majority opinion is generally what is considered best for all - unless a minority group is being hurt by it. Which is the case here.

A minority group "imposing" their beliefs upon the majority would be if those in favor of gay marriage or civil unions tried to reverse the current laws of marriage entirely. It would be the case if we tried to change the law so that homosexual unions were the only legal option, instead of attempting to gain footing along with our heterosxual fellow citizens. As it is, homosexual people are being treated as second class citizens and not afforded the same rights as heterosexual people. That is where the minority protection comes into play,

Regardless of the original intentions of the founding fathers, the beautiful thing about this country is that we do continuously attempt to protect our minority groups. Usually, as you said, this ends up manifesting itself in the form of minority religions and their practices. The only thing separating this issue of civil unions from one that would be covered under The Free Exercise Clause is that homosexuality isn't a religion...

Maybe I'll make it one so I have more of a legal battle ;)

Julie-The founding father did not want to have one state religion. They wanted everyone to be free to choose their religion. That is what separation of state and religion is.
Democracy means that everyone can vote and their majority opinion becomes law. It happens all the time.
What you are talking about would be a "democracy"of the minority imposing their opinion on the majority.

Great video and great music.

Heart-breaking, yet amazing video. The overall subject and theme was illustrated perfectly and the music was beautiful. Well done.

xoxo

Very interesting. This is a side of the same sex marriage debate that I haven't really heard talked about before, so on the information side, it was very enlightening. You also introduced to strong characters that the viewer can get emotionally invested in...so, great job!

Made me cry and laugh, cringe and hope. Professionally done. A real triumph.

BEAUTIFUL! I don't understand how anybody could not be on the side of love and marriage after seeing this pod. Films like this will drag the conservative Bible-thumping people kicking and screaming into the 21st century. We must continuously remind each other of the origins of American democracy, when the founding fathers based their nation on the separation of Church and State, so that those who do not believe gays should marry are prevented from turning their opinions into laws.

That was bittersweet.
And although four months seems like forever, at least they will get to see each other again.

That just made the civil union issue so human. Just as she said, it's a real and tragic message that people have to leave their own country just to be with those they love. It was clear that they have such a deep love for one another and no one should have to give up their freedom to exercise that love in this or any other country.

Beautiful poignant film making highlighting an important issue and relevant issue. Thank you. Much gratitude.

This film is an excellent example of why change is necessary in the United States.

This film is excellent; you guys did a great job in filming, editing, and the music. I really felt for these girls, and I actually teared up. The film looks incredibly professional, and I really commend you for the subject material you chose.

Great job!

Great short film. I hope you guys win. It is INCREDIBLY PATHETIC that is country cannot recognize difference as positive and embrace it rather than hope it goes away. All people should be able to marry and live with who they choose, no matter their sex.

A well done documentary!!!!!

I remember back in Brittany's bachelorette days when she lived with Kate and me. I wish things were as trouble free today as they were then. I hope to meet Jo someday soon. She seems like an extremely special person.

Great video ladies! Watch out world for the Griffins, there is something in those genes. Great subject and it really is sad that they had to leave "the land of the free" just to follow their hearts.

This video was amazing! The story really highlights how unjust our country is. I cried like a baby. Beautifully done! I am sooo proud of you girls!

Those Griffins should run True Life

Thats a sad story.

Wow that was a great Documentary. The directors really captured the emotion

so beautiful, yet so tragic.

Kudos to you both, Tori and Marggy, I think (and have expressed this numerous times and in numerous ways) you did a great job. Despite who did "more work." :)

I feel well represented (my awkwardness shines through nicely in this) and I think that's always a good sign! Hooray for real people and real stories!

Also I wanna thank everybody who left nice comments for me or Joanna -- support and good vibes are always appreciated and it's nice to know there are people who empathize, sympathize, or at least care that this is happening to us and thousands of other couples in America.

Holy crap. I don't even really know if I agree with gayness and stuff... but this video really made me think 2ice. Super coolz...

I loved watching this. You should submit it to our call for content in support of SILVERDOCS Film Festival.

How to: Just add the topic tag "current rocks silverdocs"

More info: current.com/silverdocs

Wow, this is a perfect example of how gays are second class citizens here in the US. When we began to come to an agreement on our immigration legislation I fear we will still be miles away from resolving this and other issues like it.

This was a great upload, Tori...you really created a great pod. Great work!

The goodbyes at the airport are heart wrenching and touching. I put a good vibe for you girls, so that your love is strong and true to endure this. Kudos to this pod!

Wow. That pod broke my heart. LIke Joanna said, "it is stupidly difficult to become a citizen of the United States."

An old girlfriend of mine was not a citizen and luckily she didn't get kicked out, but if we wanted to travel outside of the country, we couldn't because they wouldn't have let her back in.

Same sex couples can't even get married and all the while there's people out there marrying for money, or getting hitched in Vegas only to get it annulled 24 hours later.

Why not let the people who are really in love marry? And not base it on gender.