Abuse of men is being "ignored"

csmount, it is refreshing to hear that this issue is being brought up in schools especially in classes such as yours. Sociologically speaking, this gender bias towards abuse will take education of the youth to clear up. Many people in my generation or older refuse to believe that a woman can do any harm to a man even if she "tries to be violent".

shatteredmen,
Thanks for the info.
We had a good discussion about this in class. It seems there is quite a bit of abuse taking place against men, as told by others in the class.
pheonixtoo also had a point, which was brought up in the discussion.
Women can end up in hospital with various injuries, while men usually walk away.
There didn't appear to be a solution.
Awareness of abuse is the only way to combat this.

Women can be just as vicious as men.
WAVA should NOT be discriminatory!
Their literature can be quite misleading.
They receive my tax dollars too, and I'd be damned if I want my tax dollars to pay to help one victim, because they are 'a poor helpless female'
yet turn the second victim away,
because they should 'just take it like a man!'

I am a female, never been abused, and have no preset opinions. This is a good forum for me, as I am entering the criminal justice field and would really like to understand the dynamics from the male point of view.

Men are abused by their spouses, but how often does it happen?
Then there is emotional abuse. I know women and men that can be very mean.
Does emotional abuse cause a man to physically lash out against his abuser?

It may surprise you when you find out.

"In my house, being raised with a sister and three brothers, there
was an absolute – it was a nuclear sanction, if under any
circumstances, for any reason, no matter how justified, even self-
defense – if you ever touched your sister, not figuratively,
literally. My sister, who is my best friend, my campaign manager, my
confidante, grew up with absolute impunity in our household. And I
have the bruises to prove it. I mean that sincerely. I am not
exaggerating when I say that."
"And I have the bruises to prove it."

The author? None other then Senator Joe Biden...the originator of
the Violence Against Women Act. Umm wouldn't ya think he would
know better then most that women can be violent too???

http://www.shatterdmen.com/VAWA%20II.htm

JUNE is Domestic Violence Against Men Awareness Month

i think the biggest problem is being emasculated. i see it happen in the gay community but men will never go to a shelter or support group, even if they're being abused my another man. it's just to shameful to them. there needs to be more of a voice in these issues

This does not suprise me at all.

Men who strike women are, without question, the scum of the Earth. But the one experience I had with a woman striking and engaging in verbal abuse pointed up the main problem from MY perspective (I don't know if others have had the same experience) and that is since I was told during my entire childhood how wrong it was to harm a woman, it never even occurred to me that behavior of that kind from a woman was even POSSIBLE (yes I know that is hopelessly naive, but it just NEVER happened in my family or in my presence until I was in my 20s). I was stunned and for the first time in my life I did not have the FIRST CLUE how to react (other than not to return the behavior in kind). I mean, what was I going to do? Go tell someone that I was physically afraid of a girl? Or that my girlfriend made me want to cry (and OK maybe jump off a bridge, but lets not go there), so I needed a shelter? Of COURSE not. So I just stood (or sat) there and absorbed it...for a couple of months...and finally refused to see her any more. I still had strong feelings for her, but enough was enough. I know it must be many times worse for a woman, but I just can't find any excuse for it in either direction. (duh...sorry for being Captain Obvious).

How many male suicides happen with only their wife or GF around to witness it........ How many wives murder their husbands and wind up getting custody after only a 3 yr sentance?? I have seen injured men put in jail after being beat up by their wives, and the police refuse to make a report that it was because of abuse. How many times does the doctor or police officer refuse to acknowledge the injuries for what they are ratehr than make excuses as to why else they happened.

It took me over 20 minutes to get an incedent report after being abused by my daughters mother, I had no idea where my daughter was for near 3 days. Tell me if I as a man did this, would I have been "left alone"??

While many men may be able to have the ability to leave a situation before it goes too far, one must look into why a woman doesnt. There are Child Abuse Prevention (CAP)programs in about 32 states in the US. They teach the children to stand up for themselves even at a preschool (age appropriate) level. We must not let our children think it is ok to abuse or be abused. Self empowerment happens at a young age.

Yes it is true that men have a hard time admitting a woman abused them, but it is even more serious then this. I know of many men who reported their abuse only to be laughed at by the police or even arrested although they were the only one that was battered.

Some may ask why...the answer is the Violence Against Women Act which only protects women. It Is also interesting to note that the so called "stimulus bill" adds another 400 million to this one sided law which actually empowers women to be abusive.

I worked for years in domestic violence prevention and survival. We were called and offered help in all domestic violence cases with the victim's permission, (almost always given). There were a few males, pushes, hit, things thrown at them. I never saw an injury to a man that needed anything other than first aid. The women I saw were sometimes similarly injured but often hospitalized with severe injuries, sometimes the children as well. Men often find living with violent women intolerable, but I never saw one unable to leave or life threatened, I saw women who later died at the hands of their abuser.You can come up with some statistics that tell you what you want, but nothing trumps actually being there.

I do fell that both parties have their issues of personal treatment when there is conflict in between. Looking at the root of the matter, they are both the product of their Family's lack of proper education, formal education, systematic environmental and social trends, financial support and the other I will let it up to people's imagination to figure that out. Still the quest of how to make man and women to collaborate, to love each other and to live in peace remains.

Unfortunately there has been few studies done on the abuse of men and countless on the abuse of women.
For years women were the focus, because men did not speak up. It was, and still is in many circles, considered unmanly for a man to actually complain about being abused.
Emotional abuse is very hard to pin down, for women and men.
Physical abuse, on the other hand, leaves a mark that can be seen.
For the most part, male society is not ready to report physical abuse.
Police, being the one most likely to be the first contact for physical abuse, are mostly male, and while many have specialize training on dealing with spousal abuse, they may have opinions that show through if dealing with an abused man.
Unitl more men start stepping up to the plate when they are abused, there will be no special training for professionals or research done on the subject.

it's true... I've witnessed this my whole life... and we're fed all this crap about women's shelters and violence against women, but in reality it goes both ways.

and sorry but if a crazy woman wants to man up and go toe to toe with me I'll knock her on her ass.... if you're gonna play with the big kids... act like a lady you get treated like one, act like an asshole and you'll get treated like one... it's simple.

We could just stop the special interest monies in both directions and rely on the fact that if a crime is being committed that it is the responsibility of the individual that the crime is being perpetrated against comes forward with an adequate complaint to the police and the accused left to defend against the allegations. We can't just dole out money and say we should lower evidentiary standards and procedures for one side and not the other. It is fragmenting America and polarizing genders and groups against each other... wait, that is probably the goal so let's just keep doing more of the same.

This is no surprise. There are a lot of factors that contribute to the underreport of abused men.
1) As someone has said, a lot of men feel that it is demeaning to seek help.
2) The first one is a result of our society's strong inclination of gender roles and gender stereotypes of men and women.
3) A small part is from fem-nazis
- lemme explain about my definition of fem-nazis.
These are women who value certain female
stereotypes but try to hide the negative
stereotypes. For instance, they will demand
equal rights for men and women but oppose the
idea of women being part of a military draft.

Basically the "Men are evil bad-guys.", and having to prove you're one of the "Good, special men.", thing got old a long time ago. It just causes men to act-out and creates backlash.

I think some men feel that its even more demeaning when they go find help.

And I'm going to ignore it too.

This has been going on for decades. Women have been emotionally abusive to not only their spouses, boyfriends, etc. but to other women as well. What we lack in physical strength, we can totally replace with verbal lashings. Not to say im an advocate of this violence, not what so ever. Women can be mean and mouthy. Wounds left on ones psyche, are hard to get rid of. Im glad men are stepping up and voicing out.

Relationship abuse goes both ways...

It isn't anti woman to discuss how slanted in their favor relationship laws are.

It's a serious problem that we need to get around to dealing with.

payback is a bitch isn't it?

I don't think the answer is less focus on the abuse on women - just general awareness on where to go for help

:(

The Shawshank Redemption Act?