pennybottom

In 1998 I undertook a quest that led me to the Living God. I spent a week getting about two hours of black, dreamless sleep a night. I didn?t need to dream because my dreams had merged with waking life. It had taken me ten years of attending to my dreams and ten weeks of questing to build up to the dreamless week. It then took about ten weeks to cool down from it. (Drugs were not involved.)

During the week, poems, paintings, music and dance blew around me like wind, all of them... more…

In 1998 I undertook a quest that led me to the Living God. I spent a week getting about two hours of black, dreamless sleep a night. I didn?t need to dream because my dreams had merged with waking life. It had taken me ten years of attending to my dreams and ten weeks of questing to build up to the dreamless week. It then took about ten weeks to cool down from it. (Drugs were not involved.)

During the week, poems, paintings, music and dance blew around me like wind, all of them interconnected on an unbreakable web of being. Wild animals gathered round me. When I passed babies, they gazed at me adoringly. People fuming with darkness were also strewn along the way.

The illusory aspects of my adult male self were asleep. I was like a seven-year-old boy?the seven-year-old boy I had forsaken to become a man. My spirit was in union with Christ?s. During the experience he was a frog breathing through me, balancing the heartbeat of the World against the Beast.

I felt the signature of God in everything. There was no death. Metaphor was no longer figurative. It was actual. It was in the fibers of nature. For psychotics, the symbolic consumes the real. For me, the symbolic and the real embraced, making consciousness whole.

In answer to the calling I received, I spent two years in solitude, exercising, meditating, contemplating, doing dreamwork and the like, gradually turning myself inside-out; bringing consciousness to my unconscious self. This precipitated, in 2000, the s collapse »