Is Porn Ruining Sex?

Man, I wish I saw this days ago. I totally agree with Cosmo Plavix. Porn is ruining some perfectly healthy individuals, but helping others. I'm studying to be a psychologist and this is one of the things we talk about, a lot. Sex and porn is everywhere and it's hard to escape, but it can be a helpful tool for couples who need help. It helps them sort of, find their way in the bedroom (or wherever). For other people it does desensitizes them sexually. Of this isn't the case for everyone. Lots of us can watch porn and it doesn't affect us. The experienced knows how real sex is...

Of course S&M, Orgies and the like are not new to our times however, porno movies, the internet and marketing and more have all conspired to both objectify our bodies and the act of sex itself. The end result is that sex is now more about image and the "goal" of orgasm and is no longer about the journey, the process of discovery and of connecting with your lover on a deeper and more fulfilling level.

I recall an essay by Umberto Eco in his book Travels with Salmon and other Essays in which he explores how one can tell the difference between pornography and films of artistic merit in which there happens to be a lot of sex. The difference he wrote, at its simplest level, was that if the scene or transition from one sex scene to another was of little importance (i.e. you simply fast forward through it), then you are watching pornography. A simple and possibly silly answer to an interesting question but an important one as it underscores the importance of the journey, self and mutual exploration and above all the deepened connect between two people.

I feel very sorry for those whose eyes are only on the goal and not the journey. This is not to say there isn't a place for simple unadulterated "pornographic"sex in our lives but not at the exclusion of something deeper and more meaningful. If sex were simply about the orgasm why bother finding a parter to share you life with or why bother with a partner at all for that matter, better to simply sit at home alone with a porno and/or the internet and masturbate. Not a tempting alternative I'd wager.

Exactly.

Of course it is! Porn sets up very unrealistic expectations on men and women to live up to, and what they should expect from their partners. I find it ironic that while porn is meant to be about sexual enjoyment delivers just the opposite - stilted, anxiety-ridden sex lives for the men and women who buy its premise.

Could it be that they ignore the main ingredient that makes a great sex life? Mainly a great friendship and emotional bond with your partner? It's common sense really. How into it can you be if you don't really know or like the person you're sleeping with?

Like phillyharper said, the difference between porn and a real sex life is like junk food to a satisfying, gourmet home cooked meal. Once you've had the home-cooked meal, you'll never go back to thinking that fast food tastes better. By the same analogy, the young guys who expect sex to be like porn, clearly has no idea how much better sex could be.

Porn is overrunning everything.

Aren't we overthinking things just a tad? We seem to be reading way too much into things. A man looks at a beautiful nude woman and becomes sexually aroused (gasp!) A woman sees a hot guy and becomes sexually aroused (heaven!). My take would be, so what? What is so horrifying about the act of become sexually aroused? Why must it always lead to the end of the world or the insane asylum?

I third the motion. That was beautiful!

I agree. That was pretty damn good Plavix.

Plavix.

That has to win the award for best comment I've ever read. I agree with everything that you have said.

This is so stupid. People have been having orgies for years. Read a book about football clubs in the 60's! At least the boys today are wearing protection. People are just upset because the idea of these girls having wild sex upsets them or makes them jealous or both. Quit worrying about what goes on in everyone elses bedroom....or locker room in this case.