Sexes split over one night stands
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- KristinL
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Just under half of women who answered the internet poll, published in the journal "Human Nature", said they felt it had been a bad idea.
Four out of five men, in contrast, said they were happy with a brief fling.
While men reported feeling more content, sexually satisfied and confident after meaningless sex, women were more likely to worry about feeling used and "letting themselves down".
What's your take on one night stands?
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- groups:
- Sex and Love, Sex, Sex and Relationships
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- tags:
- Sex and Love, Women, Sex, Men, 3 more
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Julie_Soller
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One night stands tend to be a lot like junk food. You know it's bad for you, and you know you probably should just walk away, but for some reason or other (like alcohol) you give in to the craving.
Once in a while, neither is gonna kill ya. Make a steady diet of 'em, and you'll end up depriving yourself of nourishment, nurturing and the delicious possibilities of real sex (and real food).
- 3 years ago
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Julie_Soller
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SkylerSinclair
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Men are honored by their peers when they have a lot of one night stands. Some of these men think, "damn, im a pimp!" Women are considered to be whoring themselves out by their friends when they have a lot of one night stands. Some of these women thing "damn, im a slut!"
- 3 years ago
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SkylerSinclair
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ReddFeary83
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SkylerSinclair:
If women are considered to be whoring out by their "friends", they have a serious need to find new ones.
- 3 years ago
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ReddFeary83
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SkylerSinclair
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SkylerSinclair:
not their friends exactly, but society as a whole. TV, movies, and magazines tell women its bad to be a slut, whore, or tramp, but men are being told its good to have a lot of sex whenever you want (but im not saying its bad to have sex whenever you want; i personally think its good unless you think you need it to feel good about yourself.)
- 3 years ago
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SkylerSinclair
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ReddFeary83
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SkylerSinclair:
That's true, I suppose I did take your statement a bit literally; but there are women that have "friends" like that. I personally think sometimes society as a whole chooses to put a stigma on things when it's not really any of their business. I was taught not to do anything I didn't want to, and to do what I wanted so long as no one else was hurt. I think that's what it really comes down to. It's a completely individual decision, and people (even men sometimes), are made to wear an imaginary scarlet letter. It's sad & messed up when even in the 21st century, this crap is still happening.
- 3 years ago
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ReddFeary83
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Purdey
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Kristini asks a good question above, How many peeple have actually had a sober one night stand ?
Perhaps some of the empty, used feeling comes from the depression that alcohol abuse brings on.
- 3 years ago
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Purdey
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mayalynn
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Purdey:
That's an interesting point. But if that were the case then both men and women would suffer from it, not just women.
- 3 years ago
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mayalynn
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CreditFigaro
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Purdey:
I have, and we were both sober.
So much for your theory...
- 3 years ago
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CreditFigaro
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mayalynn
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In addition to the reasons already stated, women are less happy after one-night stands than men because they probably don't get off as much from them.
- 3 years ago
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mayalynn
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CreditFigaro
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Umm, double standard, anybody??
Women are likely worried about being judged, as they routinely are by puritans and bible beaters.
Most men in the sexual realm these days are less judgmental. Be proud of your one night stands, you got closer to someone and probably made their night, whether you are a man or a woman and sleeping with a man or a woman.
The act of a one night stand is similar in execution for both parties, its probably just the social (and sometimes health) consequences before and after that make people uncomfortable with them. (i.e. being judged as a whore/slut as a woman vs. being given high fives as a man)
We need free love for ourselves and our children.
Plan:
Erradicate HIV
Create a contraceptive pill that is easy to get and easy to use
DONT JUDGE PEOPLE!!!The most successful of my relationships have always started with one night stands. Sexual purity is totally overrated, sexual comfort is totally underrated.
- 3 years ago
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CreditFigaro
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Karmacowboy
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haha, oh god... look at the debate up there... that's quite funny. It is so hard for believers and free thinkers to be civil on moral and civic issues. Fantastic example.
:] - 3 years ago
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Karmacowboy
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Karmacowboy
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I don't want one night stands... they just work out that way. hahaha... wake up in the morning... "Oh, hello... what's your name again?" haha... yeah... that's always the start to a long lasting relationship.(insert sarcasm here)
- 3 years ago
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Karmacowboy
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kewal91
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you needed a poll for that?
im prolly one of the 5th guys too
- 3 years ago
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kewal91
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BrianMcFayden
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what if a one night stand lasted for 3 months? can't get rid of her...ha! now i fell in love and can't shake it...damn those one night stands! btw...does anyone have a drool cup?
- 3 years ago
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BrianMcFayden
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iknew
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I'm down...
- 3 years ago
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iknew
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THEREisHOPE
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I don't need a survey to tell you that women don't like being used. Sorry guys : /
- 3 years ago
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THEREisHOPE
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mischabarrett
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I think most women will always beat themselves up over having one night stands, as long as the media and society continue to berate them for it.
- 3 years ago
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mischabarrett
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ladyshiba
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I do not feel that it is correct for any person, male or female, to use another human being as a toy. I came close one time, to sleeping with a man for whom I felt very deeply. I am thankful that I did not, for in time, it became very clear that he saw sex as just a game. Of course, at that time, I was severely hurt.
He was the type of person who has that "I'm going to do whatever feels good, live my life, and who cares who gets hurt in the process." attitude.
The thing is, he didn't carry that attitude in a spirit of pride or greed. Whenever he expressed such ideas, it was more like he was expressing how much he felt that any chance for him to have any real meaning in life was lost to him.
And here's the kicker----He did to me exactly what a woman once did to him, and he was in love with her at the time.
Since that time, I have come to the conclusion that any action I should take, I should carefully consider how that action might hurt another person.
- 3 years ago
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ladyshiba
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reaisan
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Women risk a lot more with one-night stands, considering they could get pregnant.
Also, I think that "if you are one-night-standing in hopes that he will be your baby's daddy/ mama, that probably means you are just fake down and not real down." -Swiyyah
So, I think women are more likely to have a one-nighter with the secret hope of a longer-term benefit because they had a lot more to risk. Not necessarily a serious relationship, but some sort of pay-off that would off-set the cost of taking such a risk. Even though we have condoms and such now, I think women have been naturally and cultural selected to be cautious around one-nighters. So even with contraceptives, some women might still regret oneies at a higher rate than men.
- 3 years ago
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reaisan
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ReddFeary83
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One night stands for having such a simple set of words for description, can be a seriously complicated thing. I have, and although I did have quite a bit of fun, I still worried about STDs afterward. After being in a relationship for eight years and going, I don't think I could do so again; simply for the fact I have become quite comfortable and satisfied. It didn't matter so much before, and I couldn't really tell you why. I'm not saying it's a bad thing either, or that one should be in a monogamous relationship. Just that once you are and have a child or children, your opinion or feeling(s) on everything seems to change quite dramatically. I personally don't feel religion has a whole to do with it; rather the values one is raised with, taught, and decides are their own as time passes. This is just one of those things that will always bring up different opinions and views; usually opposing. I say to each his/her own: I'm not them, so there is no possible way I can understand their position of opinion or decision.
- 3 years ago
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ReddFeary83
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PatrickEdwardMurray
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Note to Skyler,
Rapists are extrememly ill or evil folks, not guys that just haven't had sex.
- 3 years ago
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PatrickEdwardMurray
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CreditFigaro
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PatrickEdwardMurray:
How do you think they got ill in the first place?
- 3 years ago
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CreditFigaro
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PatrickEdwardMurray
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In one of the Gospels, Jesus was talking about adultery and he asked if the person would want to be tied to that other person for the rest of his life....
I think regular common sense applies here...
We all know that sex is great, well gee, there must be some reasons why?
We all know that married couples are counseled to be careful to remember to have sex because it keeps you together.
There just must be something about the act that ties people together...
So wouldn't it be prudent to be more caring?
- 3 years ago
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PatrickEdwardMurray
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SkylerSinclair
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i prefer more one night stands than sexually frustrated people being angry at the world. Because these people might be potential rapists.
- 3 years ago
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SkylerSinclair
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Ricky84
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Oh wow. American arrogance + religious conviction = Bad Religion.
- 3 years ago
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Ricky84
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ReddFeary83
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Ricky84:
Like the vid, thanx for posting. :-)
- 3 years ago
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ReddFeary83
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Ricky84
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Ricky84:
Yeah no problem. Everyone should listen to Bad Religion. They rock.
- 3 years ago
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Ricky84
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peenkeefeenger
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I've never actually had a one night stand. But if I did, I'm sure I would feel pretty empty inside.
- 3 years ago
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peenkeefeenger
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keeshii768
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one night stands, if each party knows exactly what their getting themselves into and there are no misunderstandings, it could be fine
- 3 years ago
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keeshii768
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America_Again [removed]
- This comment was removed as a violation of community guidelines.
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America_Again [removed]
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keeshii768
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America_Again:
refresh my memory
- 3 years ago
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keeshii768
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Ricky84
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America_Again:
Of course I remember all those years of bible study and Sunday afternoon lectures. Now I drink to forget.
- 3 years ago
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Ricky84
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TheCocoon
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America_Again:
"*good* Conservative, Christian Values" ... wake up my friend !! the reality of what you speak of is in truth, hypocrisies, judgment, suppression of our human nature. Those who originally forced those values were not nice people. In fact, the state of the world, war and incredible unbalance of distribution of goods is heavily influenced by the so called Conservative Christian...
- 3 years ago
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TheCocoon
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ladyshiba
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America_Again:
Ahhh...Christian Values.
I am a Christian, and I agree that one-night stands are a bad idea. For one human being to use another's body as some kind of toy is just plain sad, whether mutual or not.
HOWEVER!
Jesus said that his kingdom is not of this world. In other words, until the 2nd coming...there is no such thing as a Christian Nation. There are nations with populations that largely claim to be Christian, but let's not ignore the sadly growing population of modern-day Pharisees who are always so thrilled to point out the wrong-doings of others.
Honestly, I think that real Christian values are extraoridinarily rare.
Real Christian values do not focus on the wrongdoings of others, but recognizes that oneself is merely a sinner saved through grace.....therefore, no better a person than any other. Just fortunate enough to have developed a relationship with the One who can help with that problem.
Real Christians ought to seek out the hurting, oppressed, and those who think that they have sinned beyond forgiveness (and unfortunately, have had that idea reinforced by the modern Pharisees), and show them the love of Christ.
Real Christians understand that only God can truly change a heart or a mind, and do not waste much time on worthless badgering.
Realy Christians make prayer and serving those who Christ seeks to redeem a number one priority.
Jesus Himself made a point that those who have done the worst will love God the most when redeemed.
Those of us who dare to call ourselves Christians should take it to heart that we are not here to save any nation of this fallen world. We are here to call the people therein to salvation.
- 3 years ago
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ladyshiba
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dedemetal
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I am torn... being single it happens once in awhile but I know guys just don't treat you the same way once it happens!
- 3 years ago
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dedemetal
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KristinL
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i wonder how many people have actually had a sober one night stand....
- 3 years ago
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KristinL
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TheCocoon
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KristinL:
I've had one .. it really sucked !! I wouldn't recommend it..
I was like what am doing the whole time ... but it was nice to be wanted so bad you know ??
- 3 years ago
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TheCocoon
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Ricky84
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One night stands do serve a useful purpose. They allows two people who are incompatible in a long term relationship to have sex. I say this because the majority of the one night stands I’ve engaged in have been with women outside my scene who assumed for whatever reason (alcohol) that I was something that I was not (a thug).
No one should ever try to initiate a long term relationship based on one night of drunken dancing and sex. No matter how much fun we had the previous night I’m not going to be ok with listening to that same Mariah Carey song over and over and over again the next morning. I could honestly give a shit that Twista raps for a verse. I can’t stand rap.
- 3 years ago
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Ricky84
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TheCocoon
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it's a bit long but it's funny ...
anyway... Personally I'm not into just sex ... I'm into really really good sex !!!! And one night stands just don't cut it...so I think they are lame !!!!
- 3 years ago
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TheCocoon
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peenkeefeenger
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TheCocoon:
Good god, that's funny.
- 3 years ago
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peenkeefeenger
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ReddFeary83
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TheCocoon:
LOL! :-D That is too funny!
- 3 years ago
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ReddFeary83
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gentrevino
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I think it all depends on the individual person who commited the act or acts.
- 3 years ago
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gentrevino
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crababble
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Careful what you get in to!
- 3 years ago
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crababble
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ReddFeary83
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crababble:
Hahahahahahahaha, well, that certainly puts a whole new spin on the subject, don't it? :-D
- 3 years ago
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ReddFeary83
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abbym0308
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Who ever said sex for one night is meaningless? It might mean a lot to someone.
- 3 years ago
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abbym0308
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Swiyyah
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As long as both parties are down. I mean like for reals down. But Ladies/ Men, if you are one-night-standing in hopes that he will be your baby's daddy/ mama, that probably means you are just fake down and not real down. So then don't do it. If you do, you run the risk of feeling used cuz you expected more to come out of it than what actually did. If you are cool never seeing meeting talking to that person again then by all means GET SOME!!!
- 3 years ago
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Swiyyah
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PoisonTheMonkey
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Meaningless sex helps no one. Meaningful sex with someone you love and who loves you, however, will definitely satisfy ya.
- 3 years ago
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PoisonTheMonkey
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Scott_Bromley
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I'm cool with 'em. I'm also cool that the both the male and female version of Axl Rose impersonators finally found each other in the picture above...if only for one night.
- 3 years ago
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Scott_Bromley
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current89
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I'm probably that 5th guy who is unhappy with a one night stand, for me a relationship with a woman is more important then just sex, it's something that can last.
- 3 years ago
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current89
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abbym0308
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I think it all depends on where you are emotionally. If you're lonely and looking for a mate, you'll be more upset after a one-night stand than if you're just looking for a bit of fun. Check out this Current Confession pod about one-night stands.
- 3 years ago
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abbym0308
