The benefits of stripping for your partner

There are many reasons to learn the art of erotic dance just for yourself, but there are also rewards to be reaped from learning to strip for your partner. These rewards go beyond just fulfilling a fantasy of your lover’s – although that’s nice too. But there are some benefits which may not be so apparent.

Obviously, erotic dance can spice things up in your relationship. For most people, it’s necessary to overcome the sensation of "spectatoring." "Spectatoring" is what you do when you are focused on the judgment of others. Instead of being present in the moment, you get stuck in your head worrying how you look, or that your partner or others might think negatively about you. A great way to get over spectatoring is to pay attention to your breath, focus on feeling the movements that you are doing, or construct a fantasy storyline in your head. These are all fabulous tricks that will allow you to fully enjoy the experience.

Many people are intimidated by dancing erotically because they are uncomfortable with feeling vulnerable. But it is that vulnerability that can be so attractive to your partner. Embracing the fear of being vulnerable and reframing it into enthusiasm can really get you over the uncomfortable feelings you might have. In fact, you can stay in that vulnerable space or transform that vulnerability into a sense of power. Take control of the situation. Use some playful force in removing your clothes or your partner’s. Be firm with your touch. Talk dirty. These are all ways you an experiment with being dominant in this sexual situation. You can use your dance as a way to get in touch with your inner dominatrix, and it can also be a nice introduction into fantasy play. Try on a persona and allow it to "move" you as you dance. What would this persona be thinking and doing? Just try it on and see if it works for you and your lover. There is a whole fantasy world out there to be played with.

Dancing erotically for your partner can mean creating a new form of communication between the two of you. Most people do not realize how powerful body language can be. Dancing sexually for your partner can be a way of showing him or her the movements you like and what you find erotic. It can also communicate how you are feeling in that moment, from serene and sensual to energetic and nasty. Begin to share your emotional self through movement.

You can also learn to give and receive with your partner as you dance. You may decide to build arousal by not becoming sexual following your performance, or you may choose to allow the sexual tension to morph into an amazing lovemaking session. The point is to play with the idea of you giving to your partner while he/she receives, and vice versa. Erotic dance is the perfect modality to either sit back and enjoy or be active and give. There is a certain connection that I have seen between couples who use erotic dance to benefit their relationship. One couple told me that it is their "little secret," and that they learned to perform so well for one another that they scarcely have to speak – their bodies say it all.

There is so much more to the dynamic of erotic dancing than just stripping for your partner. By showing your vulnerability to your partner you are giving them permission to find new ways to share with you too. Erotic dance helps to develop a sense of openness, and offers the promise of a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.