KEITH OLBERMANN: While the GOP candidate is still yet to be decided, it's always been assumed that President Obama would be the nominee for the Democrats in the fall. That is, unless the Arizona sheriff currently under investigation for allegedly ignoring 400 sex-crimes cases involving Latinos, can lead his league of retired superheroes to stop the president.
In our number-one story — Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio today released the preliminary findings of his so-called "Cold Case Posse," a group of five former law enforcement officials and retired attorneys, who are seeking to prove that President Obama was not actually born in this country and is thus not eligible to be — you know the story.
(Excerpt from video clip) ARPAIO: Upon close examination of the evidence, we are prepared, today, to say we believe probable cause exists indicating that forgery and fraud may have been committed.
OLBERMANN: His team then went on to present their evidence, using a very loose interpretation of the word.
Arpaio has now, this evening, told a local radio station in Phoenix that he may assign some of his own detectives to work this case, which would be using taxpayer money for birther-ism.
The investigation began last August — and, by the way, Arpaio continually pointed out that no taxpayer money was involved — it was presented by — a petition was presented to Arpaio, signed by more than 250 members by the — surprise, Arizona tea party. Surprise! You're idiots.
Some say Arpaio's latest publicity stunt is to divert attention from his own legal troubles, including a federal grand jury investigation over alleged abuse of power as well as the Justice Department investigation into his racial profiling of Latinos and those Latino-victim sex cases.
When Univision's newscaster Jorge Ramos interviewed Arpaio this week, he broke the bad news to him:
(Excerpt from video clip) JORGE RAMOS: To many Latinos, Sheriff Arpaio, you are the face of racism and discrimination.
(Excerpt from video clip) ARPAIO: I've never had any problems with a Latino. They love me. So it's just because I am enforcing the state laws they don't like —
(Excerpt from video clip) RAMOS: They don't — they don't — you're making fun of this, but they don't love you. I've spoken to many undocumented immigrants, and they are simply telling me this, that for them, you are —
(Excerpt from video clip) ARPAIO: Well, what polls?
(Excerpt from video clip) RAMOS: — the worst of America, the face of racism and discrimination.
(Excerpt from video clip) ARPAIO: I've got my own polls.
OLBERMANN: We're bringing now comedian Christian Finnegan into this equation. It's good to see you, my friend.
CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN: Good to see you.
OLBERMANN: Joe Arpaio as "the worst of America, the face of racism and discrimination." He's the right man to front the birthers then, isn't he?
FINNEGAN: Absolutely. The toughest sheriff in America or the easiest media get in America?
I think — I love the part — at one point in the press conference, he said, you know, "I just cannot, in good conscience, absolve Obama." You know, like he's — like, I really wanted to believe him. It's just, you know — a statement that was undercut by his visible erection during the speech. I'm joking, of course, he can't achieve an erection.
OLBERMANN: And you couldn’t see them from where you were standing in the — this — this is an interesting point, of course. He's investigating Obama while Obama's Justice Department is investigating him. Did he think, Sheriff Arpaio — did he think that people would not notice this extraordinary coincidence?
FINNEGAN: You know, listen — the way I think about it is that, you know, my father is around that age. You know — retirees needs a hobby, is the way I think about it. You know, collect stamps, get into the bird watching or try to take down the government because you're aware of some conspiracy that billions of dollars haven't proved yet. You know, just get out there and mingle. So, if it keeps him busy, that's what I think is important.
OLBERMANN: Well — as this thing has evolved, I've been thinking it's somewhat entertaining because this man — from the pink uniforms for the convicts to the various other lunacies, he's kind of been something you point at as amusing in Arizona, like peopling walking outside when it's 120 degrees — "Look at them. They're going to melt. Look at them. They've got an idiot sheriff."
But now, if you go to the point where he said tonight he's going to use tax — essentially use taxpayer money to do this, then this becomes whatever the equivalent of an impeachable offense is for an elected sheriff.
FINNEGAN: I suppose. I mean, I guess up until now he has kind of been like the Naked Cowboy of Arizona.
OLBERMANN: Great. Excellent.
FINNEGAN: Just sort of making a figure. But, yeah, it does seem a little strange. Like, how much money are we talking about here? Are we just talking about the Depends that it takes for the retirees that he hires to form this posse or, you know, is there going to be cookies involved? Is there catering? I want to see, you know, an itemized bill.
OLBERMANN: Polling, I would think is where he'd be spending the money because he claimed that polls show over half the country is demanding that Congress look into the birther issue. My understanding is that that half consists of Arpaio, Donald Trump, and Orly Taitz. Is there anybody else you know of?
FINNEGAN: Well, I think it makes sense if you consider what a narrow view he has of what constitutes an American. You know, considering —
OLBERMANN: Oh, of course.
FINNEGAN: Yes. I mean, considering that this poll was taken probably taken during the Early Bird at a Scottsdale Cracker Barrel, I'm surprised that number wasn't higher.
OLBERMANN: We'll recall some of the great events of his career. Last year, he invited Steven Seagal along with him to break up a cockfighting ring, and they managed to — in the middle of this — they killed a puppy and 100 roosters. So, I don’t know how successful — this was not exactly the, you know — the raid at Entebbe. They didn't get the hostages out.
FINNEGAN: I, you know — the scourge of these runaway roosters, I'm glad somebody has handled that.
I love how they act like he's going out on busts, too. Do you know what I mean? Like, "All right, we got a dangerous mission. We got eight guys with guns, and let's take that old dude out with us."
I think — also, I think if you're going to be seen with Steven Seagal that is a disqualify for anything in any way. He can't even get on "Celebrity Apprentice."
OLBERMANN: Aw.
FINNEGAN: That's sad.
OLBERMANN: And this other thing, about those pink underwear outfits for the inmates. He's now selling autographed replicas of them? "America's Toughest Sheriff" sells underwear replicas? In pink?
FINNEGAN: You know, I will say most of the time when you hear about a conservative who is into pink underwear, they're of a more form-fitting sort, usually a t-back — whale-tail action going on.
I will say, I can slam — you can slam the guy all you want, those underwear are very comfortable. I'm wearing them right now.
OLBERMANN: Christian Finnegan, telling us much more than we need to know about this subject. Good to see you otherwise.
FINNEGAN: Raar.
OLBERMANN: Now we know what he saw during the press conference. Okay, that's about it.
