KEITH OLBERMANN: First, because the segue from flatulence to these people writes itself, here are "Countdown's" top three nominees for today's "Worst Persons in the World."
The bronze? To Billo the Clown and Bernard Goldberg of the political whorehouse that is Fox News. You're going to enjoy this.
(Excerpt from video clip) BERNARD GOLDBERG: Here's a picture, Bill, of Ice-T, one of the iconic figures in black culture and music —
(Excerpt from video clip) O'REILLY: That's Ice Cube, that's not Ice-T, it's Ice Cube.
(Excerpt from video clip) GOLDBERG: No, no, no, no. That's Ice-T.
(Excerpt from video clip) O'REILLY: No, it's Ice Cube, Bernie. That's how white you are. You don't know Ice-T from Ice Cube. That's Ice Cube.
(Excerpt from video clip) BERNARD GOLDBERG: Oh, Ice Cube. Ice Cube. Ice Cube. You're right. That's — I'm sorry.
(Excerpt from video clip) O'REILLY: I'm a brother, man. You can't be doing that to me. I know the Cubes from the T's.
OLBERMANN: "I'm a brother, man."
Well, if you think you're a brother, let me quote you and your expectations of African-Americans from your trip to Sylvia's Restaurant in Harlem in 2008 and ask you, "O'Reilly, emm-eff-er. I want more iced tea."
The runner-up? Dr. Ruth Jacobs of "Maryland Citizens for a Responsible Government." For our purposes, since there is some resemblance, let's just call her "The Church Lady."
Baltimore County may pass a bill protecting transgender people from discrimination in public accommodations, specifically in bathrooms. This is Dr. Jacobs' particular area of insanity, and she has now managed to present the dumbest of the many dumb arguments for why we should not admit transgendered people into women's bathrooms: "It opens up the bathrooms to men who may be a pedophile who uses the law to nefarious advantage."
Because of course, no non-transgender pedophile, man or woman, has ever used a public bathroom in this country. Idiot.
But our winner? Newt Gingrich. Well, this had to happen. Monday, I actually said he was right about something. And whenever you think that might be the case, he comes right back to prove that — while he might be right about something — he is wrong about everything else.
Gingrich, addressing a National Association of Home Builders photo-op at the state capitol in South Carolina with a series of priceless disconnects from reality.
(Excerpt from video clip) GINGRICH: Those who, you know, live in high-rise apartment buildings, writing for fancy newspapers in the middle of town after they ride the Metro, who don't understand that — for most Americans — the ability to buy a home, to have their own property, to have a sense of belonging is one of the greatest achievements of their life, and it makes them feel like they are good, solid citizens.
OLBERMANN: Okay, part by part.
(Excerpt from video clip) GINGRICH: Writing for fancy newspapers —
OLBERMANN: All right, what fancy newspapers are those? I mean, is there still a fancy newspaper somewhere? Ask a newspaperman if his newspaper is "fancy."
(Excerpt from video clip) GINGRICH: Writing for fancy newspapers in the middle of the town after they ride the Metro —
OLBERMANN: The subway. It's the subway, the Metro — and in New York and LA and Boston it costs two bucks, and is the way people who are not rich get to freaking work. In Washington, where it goes into the suburbs, the average trip still costs three bucks. In most of this country, it's for people who can't afford their own car. Grow up, goober.
(Excerpt from video clip) GINGRICH: For most Americans — the ability to buy a home, to have their own property, to have a sense of belonging is one of the greatest achievements of their life —
OLBERMANN: You ever heard of condos? People buying those apartments? Those are their own homes, their own property. Often, because they can't afford an actual house — because to huge percentages of this country's residents, a house is still as off-limit as, say, a revolving line of credit at Tiffany's.
And a sense of belonging? Whether you buy or rent — you want a sense of belonging? Live in an apartment building! You'll belong, whether you want to, or not!
Mr. Gingrich has no connection to the world around him. Besides this "elitist apartment dwellers" nonsense, he's back on the "make poor kids become school janitors" kick.
"New York City," he now says, "pays their janitors an absurd amount of money because of the union. You could take one janitor and hire thirtysome kids to work in the school for the price of one janitor, and those 30 kids would be a lot less likely to drop out."
You know what somebody just found out? That the absurd amount of money that New York City pays its janitors is about $38,000, after two years on the job. The median income in New York is $76,000. They must all be living in those high-rise apartment buildings, riding the Metro.
Newt "Breakfast at Tiffany's" Gingrich — today's "Worst Person in the World."
