KEITH OLBERMANN: You know who the right says is behind Occupy today? ACORN! I think it's sweet that they share power with the Muslim Brotherhood, the Nazis, the Communists, the anti-Semites, and the racists, don't you? Next.
First -- because these next clowns only hear the sounds of those words, they don't know what they mean, or when they are them -- here are "Countdown's" top three nominees for today's "Worst Persons in the World."
The bronze -- right on cue -- to pretend Republican candidate Herman Cain. Cain stepped back from comments made at a tea party rally that Cain attended yesterday. A man named Apostle Claver announced "It's the Democratic party that's the racists." Cain's campaign said "Our campaign is all about promoting civil dialogue." Well, that's a change apparently.
Six years ago Cain wrote, "Congressional Democrats do not want all Americans to drink from the same retirement fountains. They insinuate that we are not smart enough to ride in the front of the retirement bus with them. At least with separate water fountains, blacks and whites each had water to drink."
Plus, there was this remark during the campaign that, again quoting, "African-Americans have been brainwashed into voting Democratic." Which, if true, is no problem for Mr. Cain, because -- as they say -- no brain -- no brain, no pain.
The runner-up? Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin. The recall effort begins in 20 days. Unfortunately, it turns out that on November 15th, a loophole opens in the election laws of Wisconsin. The personal donation limit of ten thousand dollars to a gubernatorial campaign will not in effect for the following sixty days.
Wisconsin GOP's chair summed it up, "We can accept unlimited money for a 60-day time period, so you're gonna see a lot of positive, wonderful ads about what's going on in Wisconsin." Courtesy of personal donations by Charles Koch, David Koch, their imaginary sister Cherry Koch, their fitness-expert cousin Diet Koch, their failed entrepreneur nephew New Koch.
But our winner? Bill O. the Clown. Frankly, I'm glad to see this. He's been in a terrific slump lately. But there's nothing like the march of progress to inspire him to new levels of stupidity. Specifically, Occupy Wall Street.
"I'm an independent, all right?" Lemme stop you right there, goober. You're not an independent, you're a puppet. You have a job, and it's at the political whorehouse that is Fox News. "I looked at this group in the beginning and gave them a shot and wanted to know what they were all about. Once they started to attack our personnel here, including John Stossel and Geraldo and all that, I said, "You know what? I don't want any part of these people."
Because the measure of any societal change in American history has always been -- how it treats a talking mustache who exceeded his hipness shelf life by 35 years. And a lunatic who once said on the air that "if the world was dying of thirst," of course you should "raise the price of water."
"I guarantee you that ninety percent -- ninety percent of independent Americans, Juan -- are saying the same thing: 'We don't like them. We don't trust them. We think they're radicals and if anybody throws in with them we are going to vote against that anybody.' That's what's going on, Juan."
Juan -- Juan Williams -- actually awoke from his salary-induced slumber to point out that all polling so far showed Americans, in fact, agreed with the Occupy protesters. In one case, the number was nearly 60 percent. "Wait until you see the new poll on it, okay? It ain't gonna be that sixty. It's going to be down to forty or thirty five, and the more loons like you saw over the weekend -- and they will."
Because, in addition to thinking he has his own cops -- in fact, they were his wife's cops -- Bill also thinks he controls the polls. And also traffic lights, and the weather. "Because they continue to get themselves in the media, they've got to do this stuff. The media's tired of this story now!"
O'Reilly recorded those comments about 5 PM Eastern yesterday, 6 PM -- just before one of the network newscasts led with Occupy Wall Street, and 12 hours before the police skull-cracking in Oakland made all the morning-news chat shows -- and the day before The New York Times poll found only 27 percent disagreeing with Occupy. Nice prediction, Sparky. Bill O. the Clown -- today's "Worst Person In The World."
