Ask That's Gay's Bryan Safi Anything!

thanks for all the questions, everybody! we'll post bryan's answers soon.

Who would win in a fight between a gay person and a straight person?

Also, is it true that homosexuals are born with an inherent ability to befriend and tame the mighty bengal tiger?

If they came up with a "That's Straight" show to showcase all the stereotypical/quirky/stupid things about heterosexual people(i.e. parody of "That's Gay"), who would you recommend as host and why?

what do you think of cricket?

After reading these, do you sometimes wish that you had the power to delete accounts? I'd call it the Safi Canon.

What is your favourite John Waters film?

What does your family think of "That's Gay"?

Would you ever wear a flamboyant costume when you do a segment? If you do, what would it be?

Are you as excited about the new Band of Horses album as I am? If not, you should be.

Do you ever get tired of receiving questions based primarily on your sexual orientation? Do you yearn for a wider variety of inquiries?

Here's mine: what are you superstitious about, if anything?

Do you get a lot of questions only a stalker would ask?
Does it freak you out?
Do you worry that my posting 3 times could be a sign of obsession?
Should I stop?
Is that the FBI outside my door?

Also, where do you live and what wine would you prefer I bring when I turn up on your doorstep to sweep you off your feet?
....
Why are you looking at me like that? ... you said I could be inappropriate. Just be thankful I didn't ask what type of condom I should to bring.
banana flavoured.

Do you think it's gay that this story is more popular then other, more pressing issues?

Could you do a piece about the stupid stereotypes tv makes or dragqueens and genderqueers?

In a cage deathmatch between all gay tv show hosts, who would emerge victorious?

if i melt dry ice, can I swim in it without getting wet?

Are you available or taken? o.O

LOL Ok, so what's your type? Bears, jocks, twinks?

Where are you most ticklish?

Would your preferred suicide be overdosing on gummy vitamins or allowing yourself to be eaten by a Pac-man ghost?

Will you please be my best friend and give me a make over? I desperately need a 'fairy gaymother' to make my life as a sassy straight gal complete.

Dear Lord completely inappropriate question time is awesome. I'm game.

Do you ever get the irrational fear that you might go to sleep and wake up hetero and is that an actual scary thought?

this one comes to ya from da rain-forests of south east asia

Who carries the mail thru da jungle?

I carry the mail thru da jungle...

But...theys LIONS in da jungle...

I know...f*ck da lions.

wha? ...you'd f*ck a lion?

why I'd f*ck a lion's mutha.

um hmm. You Lion mutha f*cker.

Anyone know of a troll hunter?

Here's one bryan. is this funny?

Cain't we all jes git along, like ol rodney king
take a big ol hit offa Cheech's bong...ssssssss
and you'll see...Love is a Beautiful Thing.

Take some poppies from Afghanistan, California Ice
from China comes a hand-carved Mirscham Pipe
put em all together and you sprinkle it with snow
that came across the border from Mexi-cooooo,

Cain't we all jes git along, like ol rodney king
take a big ol hit offa Cheech's bong...ssssssss
and you'll see...Love is a Beautiful Thing.

Let's all CELEBRATE our bio-diversity, strip off all our clothes, hold hands....and run NAKED thru the Rain-forest!!! (watch out for the anacondas tho...they still think its a damn jungle)

or this.
Oh I don't use mah pe*er, cept to swat flies n' skeeters
oh the womens be scarce dont cha know
tho the itchin stays with ya, the bitc*in they gives ya
is the reason Im freezin...standin here A** deep In SNOOOOW
copyright steveraygreen

hey bryan. is this funny?
smoke me laka-doobie when I die...I don't wanna rot, I wanna fry
shove me in the oven love and turn those burners high
& smoke me laka-doobie when I die

hmm. white wino...sounds like barbara walters on a trip to south africa. watch out for doze white wino's...look OUT! mr. camwah man! You almos stepped in a big pile of wino poop. I think I'll stop now and go write me a country song about a great white wino.

...couple 1000 more streets named MLK Blvd.-Freeway-Drive- or just plain ...street. If we run out of streets we could think about re-naming some alleys MLK alley…like that or something.
now once a alley has been named MLK Alley...any white winos caught pi**ing there will be ran over with a garbage truck, and buried alive in a dumpster in some OTHER alley with either another name or no name whatsoever.

Are jettas gay? Or is it just that guys are insecure about everything small including cars. And because I'm insecure, my stepdad owns a jetta not me.

since Nobama has declared Amurica is not a christian nation...what do we do with the millions of churchs-pastors-preachers-evan.-ten billion bibles- a church on every street...what do we do with all that. should we tear down the churches and erect mosques...or maybe just rip off the crosses and pile them up and burn them...uh oh. burning crosses...hmm. That sounds like something nobama might be gainst.

btw...I had one who was killed in Iraq, in Dec. 2007. by a holy islamic roadside bomb...now, since he's not coming home...is HE still considered an ENEMY OF the STATE? or ...does his enemy of the state-ness...transfer to his wife & 3 babies?

or maybe does...nobama, osama, his momma, and mohahmma forgiven this evil white repressor after he was blown to shreds?

Does Conor make you toss his salad?

Obombus Nobama here. k. one last question. this comes from our bayou born islamic hero nobama...
If a frog had wings........would he...or she...bump his butt?
If a frog had wings would he bump his butt?

Whats the difference between a duck? ( this question was axed me by Weezie...she makes me say Axed...else she be gets confused)

Whats the difference between a duck?
ans. One of his legs ...is both the same.

k My-bry...times up. The question was "How far can a dog go into the woods"?
The answer IS....

ta da de da!!! Half way. He can only go halfway. the other half...he be comin OUT!

One more. How long is a piece of string?

k. twice the distance from the middle to the end.

me gin...hatethegreat satan nobama! death to murica evil white empire...uh ...which..i ...uh...guess I'm...president of???? hmmm.

well, I'll check that out later ( I should revise that to death to murica evil white empire cept the president his two lil millionaire welfare queens and Weezie...his wife w/ENORMUS mouth...like Mr. Ed. those teeth. When she yawns...we all be runnin...)
soooo. did you get the first question, bry-bie? it's oookay. there are no wrong answers. Here's another
If clinton did the splits....would he/she stick to the floor?

oooh oooh...bry bro...Salama dingdonga yomoma Nobama here...How far can a dawg go into the woods?....if u don't know, i'll tell you in a bit. k?

Are you single?

what's your favourite flavour?

what is the gayest show on cartoon network?

Is it a choice, fashion statement, a means to get back at someone who wronged you?

So how bout prostate massaging? Is it really all that?

I hope you got like a lifetime supply of Klondike bars.....

Do you go through a lot of preparation H?

Poli grip, or K-Y? (favorite lube)

Do you think think Bi people really need to be that greedy/slutty? Because I guess I can accept the Gay thing and it being innate, but Bi people just seem like whores, I mean pick one dammit.....

1. Any thoughts on soap operas having no gay couples as of As the World Turns going off the air in September?

2. What's your dream job? Are you working your dream job?

3. You need back up in a fight. Who from infoMania do you take with you?
(3a. you're in a West Side Story fight. Who from infoMania do you take with you?)

Why can't I think of anything more clever than truts's "Who is the gayest team in the NBA?"

Admit it, Sarah Palin is kind of alluring.

Not really sure how to set up this question, but were you in the Buffy episode once more with feeling?

Remember when we rode the elevator together just now?

Bryan, will we see you dancing sometime soon on the show?

Alright then, who is the 2nd gayest?

Who is the gayest team in the NBA?

Hmm what to ask you?

Have you ever experienced the sheer pleasure of a vagina?

i think your hilarious by the way man, high fives for funny gay people!

Where could one find Bryan Safi nude images?

What's the appeal of "rosebuds"?

How does one become a regional sex symbol like you?