A quick Run-Down of Top Men's Dating Guides
source: http://jezebel.com/5316233/dating-guides-are-hell-its-all-about-the-men?skyline=true&s=x
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Now, I have read "Why Men Love Bitches" and "He's Just Not That Into You" and I find them both amusing, silly and sometimes insightful. The "Why Men Love Bitches" ones are particularly fun. I don't think I really take their advice seriously, but I have some friends who do.
Anyway, I never thought about the other side... Men's Dating Manuals! I guess I just assumed men were to busy being childish dicks to care about the actual outcome of dating (ohhhhhh. Joking, guys. I kid, I kid. It's just too easy). I came upon this interesting run down of some of the top sellers in this genre of men's self help. One book called "how to Succeed with Women" actually sounds pretty decent. But decent does not a funny current post make so here's a highlight from one of the not so decent ones:
From jezebel.com:
2. The Guide to Picking up Girls, by Gabe Fishbarg
Gabe is obsessed with your rap. You know, how you kick rap to the ladies. Chapter One, Section One is titled "A Rap is What You Say When Talking to a Girl." I feel like I could have learned this watching Blossom, from Joey. Or maybe from the Fresh Prince era Will Smith. Fishbarg continues:
Improving your rap and honing your rap skills should be a long-term project.
I agree. I was going to put a copy of this book in the mail to Soulja Boy, 50 Cent, and a few others before I realized he's still talking about picking up women.
"The Guide" often refers to itself in the third person. Example:
"The Guide understands, like you do, that there are many different types of girls you will meet in life. There are pretty girls and there are ugly girls. There are girls who are bitches and there are girls who are not. There are sluts and whores and nice girls too."
The Guide is very clear about what it is not.
"You may read The Guide and then hit it off with someone on your first night out. Put this book away and date that girl. [...]This is purely a manual on how to pick up a girl and get her phone number."
The Guide also speaks to you in a series of commands:
Being nervous is not an option. The Guide will help you lose any nervousness you may have. If you are nervous, see the section on alcohol on page 76 of The Guide."
"Traumatized in high school? You and everybody else. Forget all the high school, college, or post college rejections and the girls who ignored you. It doesn't matter. Girls can be mean and full of anger. Forget them. The time for anger is over. It's time to party and have fun."
"As a general rule, you should never dance. Dancing is a big waste of time. Avoid it at all costs. Most straight men can't dance without looking foolish while doing it."
There are also a whole set of wingman related commands.
"At some point in the rap, you must buy your girl a drink. The wing man must buy his girl a drink too. You should pay the wingman back for his girl's drink if he has "taken a grenade" (i.e. his girl is unavailable or unattractive.) If his girl is cute, no need to reimburse him for his wingman expenses. [...] A good wingman must be willing to take the grenade. In the military, a soldier will fall on a live grenade to save the rest of his buddies. While his friend talks to the pretty girl, a good wingman must be ready, willing and able to take the grenade and talk to the married girl, the angry girl, the fat girl, the ugly girl, etc."
Anyway, I never thought about the other side... Men's Dating Manuals! I guess I just assumed men were to busy being childish dicks to care about the actual outcome of dating (ohhhhhh. Joking, guys. I kid, I kid. It's just too easy). I came upon this interesting run down of some of the top sellers in this genre of men's self help. One book called "how to Succeed with Women" actually sounds pretty decent. But decent does not a funny current post make so here's a highlight from one of the not so decent ones:
From jezebel.com:
2. The Guide to Picking up Girls, by Gabe Fishbarg
Gabe is obsessed with your rap. You know, how you kick rap to the ladies. Chapter One, Section One is titled "A Rap is What You Say When Talking to a Girl." I feel like I could have learned this watching Blossom, from Joey. Or maybe from the Fresh Prince era Will Smith. Fishbarg continues:
Improving your rap and honing your rap skills should be a long-term project.
I agree. I was going to put a copy of this book in the mail to Soulja Boy, 50 Cent, and a few others before I realized he's still talking about picking up women.
"The Guide" often refers to itself in the third person. Example:
"The Guide understands, like you do, that there are many different types of girls you will meet in life. There are pretty girls and there are ugly girls. There are girls who are bitches and there are girls who are not. There are sluts and whores and nice girls too."
The Guide is very clear about what it is not.
"You may read The Guide and then hit it off with someone on your first night out. Put this book away and date that girl. [...]This is purely a manual on how to pick up a girl and get her phone number."
The Guide also speaks to you in a series of commands:
Being nervous is not an option. The Guide will help you lose any nervousness you may have. If you are nervous, see the section on alcohol on page 76 of The Guide."
"Traumatized in high school? You and everybody else. Forget all the high school, college, or post college rejections and the girls who ignored you. It doesn't matter. Girls can be mean and full of anger. Forget them. The time for anger is over. It's time to party and have fun."
"As a general rule, you should never dance. Dancing is a big waste of time. Avoid it at all costs. Most straight men can't dance without looking foolish while doing it."
There are also a whole set of wingman related commands.
"At some point in the rap, you must buy your girl a drink. The wing man must buy his girl a drink too. You should pay the wingman back for his girl's drink if he has "taken a grenade" (i.e. his girl is unavailable or unattractive.) If his girl is cute, no need to reimburse him for his wingman expenses. [...] A good wingman must be willing to take the grenade. In the military, a soldier will fall on a live grenade to save the rest of his buddies. While his friend talks to the pretty girl, a good wingman must be ready, willing and able to take the grenade and talk to the married girl, the angry girl, the fat girl, the ugly girl, etc."
