LoveLife | July 29, 2009 | 6 comments

I took my wife's last name

source: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/i-took-my-wifes-last-name/article123...

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nazbags
This is a very interesting read from a man who chose to take his wife's name when they married. His family was confused and upset, but he is very adamant in his decision.
  1. groups:
    Sex and Love,   LoveLife,   Women,   Feminism,   1 more
  2. tags:
    Family,  Marriage,  Feminism,  Sex and Relationships,  1 more
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6 comments // I took my wife's last name

  • Samantha_Rae
    • 0
      Samantha_Rae  

    • I think we are all equal, and we should take one another's last names, as a symbol of change.

      When I think of taking my boyfriend's last name when we get married, I just cannot look past how women were, pretty much, forced into taking the man's last name in the old days to show ownership. We had a fight about this, because he said it was traditional, but whenever I thought of it I was sad, because I wanted to keep the name I was born with, no matter if it was traditional, or not, at the time. And it made me feel like I was going to lose myself.

      He said he was mad, because I was treating him like other men, and that I thought they were all bad. Which is mostly true, I do at times, but can you really blame me?

      We, eventually, came to the conclusion of hyphenating, which I wanted to do in the first place, so it would be a representation of a "we," not a "he."

    • 2 years ago
  • Future_America
    • 0
      Future_America  

    • It seems to me that when the woman take the man's last name, it's almost like the man has ownership over the woman. She now bears his name, like how you would put your name on your belongings. This the time I've heard of a man taking the woman's name. With women almost always taking the man's name, women almost feel that they have to take the man's name. If more men took the women's name then it would seem like that to me. I think this should be tagged under feminism, feminists want to two sexes to be equal and I think this is a small step towards equality. But I do think the guy should have told his wife he was going to take her name before he took it.

    • 2 years ago
  • div
    • 0
      div  

    • Why shouldn't it be in feminism? I don't understand. You call it a "token gesture" but if he means it honestly, I don't see what your anger is about.

      Idealistically, one wouldn't need a certificate to prove love. Realistically, at least in this country, you do.

      I do take issue that he did it anyway without the prior consent of his wife. If she didn't agree with it but he did it anyway... it doesn't bode well for a healthy future.

    • 2 years ago
  • giricoccola
    • 0
      giricoccola  

    • This is tagged under feminism? Marriage is a patriarchal institution, designed to ensure that men have ownership over women. Until recently, men were allowed to sexually assault women legally depending on a marriage. Token gestures like taking her last name doesn't excuse the action. And if you're commited to someone enough you don't need a certificate to prove it.

    • 2 years ago
  • curtisreed
    • 0
      curtisreed  
    • giricoccola:

      sorry, but that's bullshit. Even in matriarcal societies, there is marriage. it's NOT to guarantee that the man owns the woman, that is just ignorant.

      you should go take some anthropology classes and educate yourself.

      as for the "institution of marriage": it was created to resolve a number of societal dilemmas, on both sides.

      since it is the woman who will bear the child and may be left with a greater burden, marriage is a commitment by the man, a promise to care for his wife and his offspring. There was a time when that promise meant something and it was dishonorable to violate the oath. That ended thanks to feminism. Sure, it freed the woman. It also eliminated the sense of commitment for the man. And now look what we've got.

      Since the male cannot know who the real father of his mate's children are, marriage was also a commitment to fidelity by the wife. If the man was going to commit to years of supporting children, there should be some ability to trust that he was not raising the offspring of other males. This is why adultry is a capital offense in some cultures.

      there's even more to it, but my point is, it's not as simple as "it keeps women as the man's property." that's just feminist hooey.

    • 2 years ago
  • cattheawesome
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