30 Day Sex Challenge

Ummmm...I attend this church after moving away to attend college and now I'm back in Tampa and LOVE MY place of worship. I'm a little taken aback that Mary would participate in this challenge considering the fact that she had a kid in high school, I think at age 15 or 16. She's now living with someone (well I've heard through the grapevine that she finally made it legal) and she signed up for this. This guy (Mike ) is a sucker. At the end pof the clip she was basically begging for "something more down the road". We all have the ability to change, but really - I mean seriously. I am a virgin and very proud of the fact that I'm saving myself for marriage. Don't need to bed anyone to be with me, support my kid or play a role in a video to try and clean up my past mistakes. Not casting stones here, but I think she should have really thought about the fact that she was not able to go without for 30 days when se was a kid herself - past behavior is a good representation of future behavior. When I see her on Sundays I'm glad she participates in the word of Christ, but is it for show??? I wish the best for you as well as the others in the clip - such a powerful message to send to our youth as well as our married couples about the true meaning of sex. Paul - hat off to you - you keep me coming back every Sunday to worship, and for that I thank you !!!!

How gross! Any church that would put women through such a horrible task is no church that I would ever attend! Sex should be done when it is agreed upon by both partners, in the dark and very discreetly! Not by some horney preacher dude! Jeeze, we women have enough problems. This preacher is obviously a male and also a pig, yuck!

The theory is if the couples have sex for 30 days then it would become a habit.
30 days straight? And what about woman's period? And what about desire? If you want my opinion, I think that too much sex can kill the desire. People need time to restore their sexual stamina and maybe to think about new ideas. Three-four times a week is more than enough to increase communication.
As for the second couple, I would recommend them to visit this site, because can definitely help to overcome their sexual loneliness.
http://www.edenfantasys.com/

Wow! You seem to have a lot of jumbled up emotions tied to your experiences with the Church and Christians. On one hand you seem to talk like you're a Christian. But on the other hand, you sound like the critical, judgemental people you're being critical of.

According to most Christians, on judgement day, you won't be asked how so-and-so lived their life. You won't be asked how the members of such-and-such church lived their lives. You'll be asked how YOU lived your life. Worry about yourself and stop spending so much time worrying about other people. "Why worry about a spec in your friends eye, when you can't see past the log in your own." That's my advice to you.

Do you think I'm the only one that has some resentment towards the "church"? And if the church wants to heal itself from its sickness, it needs to live in a way the Christ lived which was to avoid the "spiritual" leadership of the established "church" and devote time to the kingdom of God for the right reason.
trevorw, you want to represent the post here in a light that relates only to married couples and yet the bitter pill is points to singles. You forget that there's a stigma about marriage that is ultra-powerful and works against marriage irregarless of whether you have signed a marriage certificate or not. The church is also very confused about what marriage is, since it's operations is inseperately linked to the State's mandates regarding legality, and so legalism is inherent in the commitment. An open door, if you will for Evil, to attack the innocent and unwarry. Again the "church" is just plain dumb and stupid and continue to go round and round with their same old conundrum of answers irregardless of how hypocritical they seem.
The irony is that pastors and preachers are falling left and right. Ironic, don't you think? But I digress.
I do apologise if you feel I hate you. And you seem very considerate a person; however, being considerate cannot cause oil and water to mix. So keep this in mind. Any challenge such as this only opens the door for attack. This is akin to God having to restate for himself that he tempts no one, and that means no one. Yeah, he tests people, but that is His and only His. And what people hate about him is too closely associated with stupid little tests like this that do not come from God and ignore the place of true spiritual worship and service of God.
Again, no where is this challenge found as it extends to those who those who are single and living together. so go figure, they're off limits to you, but not off limits to God's Grace or the Goodness of God that leads men to repentance.
It's better I trounce a few vehemently for the benefit of the many. Seperate what belongs to man and comes from man from what is called God or suffer the consequences! May God Himself show his displeasure! In ancient times, there never was so much legalism or contractualism associated with marriage with deception of "more marital freedom" hung out like a bait for the ignorant. Do not judge people for living together or seek to interfere with their lives because you think you are so Holy and mature in your faith. Lest you fall (I think you know this scripture as well.). They have nothing to do with the mission of the Gospel which is the primary place of the church.
Now, I've told you the downsides and I've apologised as much as I am going to, but this does not take away from my prayers against this challenge. There is an implicit criticism of those who are outside the "law" which indeed we are supposed to teach, but not like this and definitely in this generation of self righteous, greedy, conceited know it alls!! And holding people to the law never did anything but make people a slave to sin through temptation, so stop making people drink this poison called temptation. Unless that is your aim, of course? In which case, who do you serve?!!

Thor,

After reading your posts, I get the feeling that you don't like this challenge one bit. It also seems that you harbor some sort of resentment towards the church and they hypocrites inside.

I'd like to challenge you on two things:

1. The church is full of hypocrites. This is true. Why does that bother people? Isn't a hospital for sick people? So a church is for people who fail at life but are trying to get it together. Last I checked, NOBODY is perfect and EVERYBODY does some bit of evil. So maybe you should cut these people a little slack.

2. What exactly about this challenge didn't you think was a good idea? Having sex with your spouse who you love? I'm not married. But if I was, and my marriage was even marginally healthy, I think it'd be worth giving it a try. Seems to me the point of the challenge was not merely to have SEX. But rather, the point was to re-develop emotional intimacy with your spouse. SEX was just supposed to be the gimick, the rallying point, to get people to be emotionally connected to their spouse. I'll bet that there would be fewer divorces in America if spouses tended to the emotional needs (not just sex) of their partners more.

Please respond. I'd really like to know the downsides of this challenge. I've yet to hear anyone say anything that's convincing. Most people just seem to be upset that this "challenge" came from a church.

So "nice" of you to say so. But let me make a couple of comments as well, cz-.
1) And as far as "observations," you didn't observe anything actually. In fact, you don't really make much sense. Someone reading this post might think you were being critical of someone who doesn't share your point of view. People notice when someone choose to insult rather than do the right thing.

2) And as far as a "sex-challenge," everyone inherently knows the church has no place to do this. Everyone except you that is. But then again why put your foot in your mouth again, right?

And even if it was true that I was lonely or inspired by caffeine addiction or "giving a piece of my mind" where I shouldn't or even lacking any brain cells, I would choose to be that, sir, rather than be someone who CLEARLY does not see what is wrong with this challenge and why promoting or supporting it would be wrong as well. And that is what this is about. Not whether your church or you would do it, or not.

The fact that the 'christian' church does not practice what it preaches is nothing new. And the fact that the 'christian' church is always intruding into people's sex lives when the Bible clearly says "the marriage bed is undefiled" is nothing new either.

Really, cz-, you should prove your brain power by promoting things you are truely have a commitment to do yourself. Ah, but then again, it's a common failing of hypocrites and lawyers!

tootaloo, cz-! See ya in the after-wife!

Heh. No, I don't go to that church. And I don't think the challenge would go over real well with the congregation of which I am a member. Nice people -- but not the kind who generally want their pastor to be issuing sex challenges from the pulpit.

Two observations, if I may? First, when you end EVERY sentence with an exclamation point, you probably need to back off the coffee a little. Second, you CLEARLY can't afford to be giving a piece of your mind to anybody, Thor. The one cell you have left is soon going to die of loneliness.

I'm not married and i haven't had sex for months... not for the want of trying mind you!

I'm finding it interesting how people are taking this. People seem to be really uptight about this. Is it because it's a church and it's sex, two topics that seem to go hand in hand like vinegar and oil? Relax people! It's not a cult. It's not a mandate! It's not forever. It's a 30-day event, kind of like boot camp, a diet, or any other self help thing. It's something they did for 30-days. And the WHOLE point of the experiment wasn't about SEX. It was about EMOTIONAL INTIMACY.

I dare anyone with negative criticism to pick up the booklet and try it for themselves for 30 days. THEN you can talk about how much you think it was a bad idea. Not everyone I talked to (even these couples) could actually complete the 30 days. But they worked at. And everyone I talked to (male and female) said it improved their relationship (married or unmarried).

I think that it really is easy for couples who have been together for a long time to allow the sexual part of their relationship stagnate. But I also think that doing so is one of the biggest mistakes a couple can make.

I know when we are active on a daily basis for long stretches we tend to be more forgiving of each other -- those petty little irritants (an unkept promise, an undone chore, an unkind tone of voice, etc) that in the past could balloon into actual disagreements are more apt to be ignored. We laugh together more. We are more relaxed with each other. I think we are even better parents (though we are not telling THEM the reason why...). And of course, the act of sex causes a person's body to release a number of different beneficial chemicals that affect mood, immune function, organ health, etc. It can also be good exercise.

So I am on board with the INTENT of this program, even though I find the strict 30 consecutive day deal a little over-the-top (on the other hand I worry a little about the poster who says she couldn't keep things spicy for 30 days -- surely she has more imagination than THAT). Any sex that causes resentment pretty much by definition bad sex.

On the other hand, I just think that most people would probably benefit if they could adjust their perspective a little and say to themselves, "yeah, the timing is not the greatest, but this is going to do a lot of really good things for both of our minds and bodies, it is going to make us closer, it is essentially an investment in the marriage that will pay happiness dividends well into the future...and face it, I am probably not going to have a BAD time..."

This is definitely not a good idea. Where was there ever tried before in Christendom? Christian leaders have alot to learn, especially about sex! Don't we have enough problems as it is?! These people are off their rockers! If one person does it, that's their deal, but to put a whole church through it? Why try giving help to somebody who doesn't like you everyday for 30 days! And smile! What would make more sense? Do good to those who hate you or do evil to those who love you? Ridiculous!

What genius instructs single people not to have sex for 30 days straight? Does anybody else smell the irony there? No prob boss, I am currently on the 60 day plan evidently....genius.

Um... does this church not realize that women have periods every 28 days? hmm. most churches also advise natural family planning, SO, are they just trying to get the people pregers? and are they trying to make people hate sex? cuz i know for me, doing it every day gets monotonous, i can't see being able to spice things up every single day for a month.

I guess what I meant was "How come everyone in this report looks they directly came from central casting?"

Label it as a cult and never as a church - Something related to Osho?

ohh, look at the cute little vanillafaces searching for meaning...

this sounds interesting, but married people don't have sex and unmarried people must unzip and go at it

I think I heard about this on the Colbert Report. It sounds crazy enough to work! ;)

Marriage is an outdated ritual that has no purpose in modern society other than income tax status.

Monogamy and family unity do not require marriage, but commitment and trust.

Sexual compatibility is an important part of an intimate relationship. Why would you commit yourself to someone who you don't know you're compatible with?

I'm all for saving sex for marriage.

Silly people who base relationships off of sex. Of course you need to know who you are and who your partner is before having sex. A-duh