How to Tell your Girlfriend She's Fat

Men's health magazine just printed the top ten ways to tell your girlfriend she's fat. Below are five. You know what? Usually, for me, its the other way around and I don't worry about it.


From Jezebel.com:

"Isn't it a total drag, bro, when the woman you supposedly love gains weight? Instead of perhaps considering that she's aware of the issue, or perhaps wondering if there are health concerns or emotional reasons behind a sudden weight gain, Ask Men thinks you should approach the subject of your beloved's body by humiliating her as often as possible. Isn't that just the sweetest thing, girlfriends?! It's like Irving pushing Cathy into a shark-infested ocean and yelling, "This will help you prepare for swimsuit season next summer, as I know how emotionally difficult it is for you!" Charming.

Below, a break down of Ask Men's Top Ten "Subtle" ways to fat-shame your girlfriend into losing weight:

No.1 - Take her to places where she has to wear a swimsuit
If she seems content staying at home eating donuts in her track pants, why not start taking her to places where she has no choice but to where a swimsuit? As she awkwardly looks around at all the slender bodies having a great time, she'll more than likely vow to do something about her recent weight gain, especially if she knows she'll be back there in the not-so-distant future.

No.2 - Leave "now" and "then" photos lying around
This is a highly effective way to draw attention to the explicit changes to her body as you see them. By consistently reminding her of how she used to look, she'll inevitably be more inclined to do something about her excess flab. Appropriately chosen and strategically placed photos should accomplish this quite nicely. Keep in mind, if she confronts you about trying to shame her into losing weight, the key approach here is denial, as you reply: "Do you actually think I would be that manipulative?" Of course you would, but she doesn't need to know that.

No.3 - Sabotage her chair
Sometimes as men we have to get downright nefarious to get what we want. You might not be proud of stooping to this level, but nothing says "better lose some weight" like a broken chair. After you loosen a few screws or remove some important slats of a chair in which you know she'll sit and subsequently break, sit back and watch the guaranteed dietary transformation that ensues. It will profoundly amaze you.

No.4 - Ask her to wear an old dress
Plan a romantic night out for the two of you and insist that she wears something from when you first got together; particularly something that you know doesn't fit her anymore. This way she'll have to admit to you that she's put on too much weight and can no longer get into many of her old clothes. Follow it up by telling her how good she looked in those days, and maybe she'll make it her mission to get back to that size.

No.5 - Playfully grab her love handles
Ask any man and he'll tell you that he instinctively flexes his biceps whenever a woman touches them. The same thing goes for a woman when you make contact with any unwanted flab: She recoils and feels embarrassment. Use this reaction to your advantage. Even if she thinks that you're too busy at work to have noticed a few extra pounds, if you continually rest your hand on her love handles (or even lightly pinch them), she'll soon realize that you're becoming increasingly aware of something that never used to be there before."