He sleeps on the couch in his office, which explains why he looks like Eddie Munster. The pout is from the permanent imprint of the leather cushions.- He has given away many copies of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged” as Christmas presents. These are more popular than his usual gifts — lumps of coal.
- He strangles spawning catfish with his bare hands, a practice known affectionately as “noodling.” Apparently his pro-life position stops at the river’s edge.
- At 42, he is the same age as Mittens’ eldest son. Luckily for him, he wasn’t actually born a Romney or he would have been named Pagg.
- In high school, he was voted Biggest Brownnoser. This may explain the tiny roll of toilet paper he still carries with him everywhere.
- He and David Gregory played pickup basketball in college. If this VP thing doesn’t work out, look for him to have Matt Lauer’s job next year.
- His very limited private sector experience includes having once spent a day driving the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. Mama will pay a fortune (OK, two tickets to the “Sexy Liberal Comedy Tour” show and a reach-around at the meet-and-grope) to anyone who sends me a photo of Little Pauly riding around in his weiner car!
