If you were watching the show today, you know that I’ve been experiencing what people commonly refer to as “floaters.” That disturbing phenomenon where strange objects seem to be moving through your field of vision that aren’t really there.
I usually call that cocktail hour. When I called my doctor, she immediately advised me to stop drinking. I thanked her, hung up and poured myself a glass of Chardonnay (Mama doesn’t like bad news without her medicine).
That was an hour ago. Now, I’m pleased to report that the floaters have been replaced by giant white balls of fur, my dogs Max and Fred. They’re floating in and out of my field of vision, because Mama is passed out on the kitchen floor. They keep licking me, like horses who’ve found a comatose cube of sugar.
I’m dictating this blog post over the phone to a 911 operator. She keeps asking me my name and I keep asking for hers. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship.
Have a great weekend!
