I never thought I would say this (although it will likely warm the heart of my 89-year-old Republican mother), but I’ve finally found something that makes me feel closer to Sarah Palin. No, not wolf hunting from a helicopter or treating my staff like the cast of “The Help” (although Chris Lavoie and Jim Ward might disagree. F**k ‘em).
No, the Wasilla Wonder Woman and I have finally found common ground in our shared disgust with what she calls “The Lamestream Media” and what I call “Meet the Press.”
Every Sunday morning, I get the newspaper, get into my bed, curl up with my two handsome and romantic men, Max and Fred, and then like a crack addict proceed to spend the next hour doing something that only makes me more stupid. And yet, like a true addict, I can’t stop.
My principal dealer is David Gregory. He thinks he’s smart. He thinks he’s witty. He thinks we all love him. In truth, he rarely thinks at all — unless it’s about his ratings.
Case in point was this last Sunday, when less than a month before a presidential election that will affect the future of our nation for a generation, he opened his variety show with clips from the vice presidential debate that played right into the Republican meme of Joe Biden as a buffoon. Not satisfied with just showing actual clips from the debate, he also used a clip from “Saturday Night Live” to punctuate his pointlessness. Cross-promotion much, Dave?
Oh, sure, he had some thoughtful, intelligent analysts on the show in much the same way “American Idol” brings on real artists to distract viewers from the silliness of the rest of the circus. The great Jennifer Granholm was on the show, and she kicked ass, as did Kasim Reed, the mayor of Atlanta. But in the interest of “balance,” if not accuracy, Gregory also invited Governor Bob “vaginal probe” McDonnell and Republican consultant Alex Castellanos to join him for his Sunday morning boogie (too bad his old dancing partner Karl Rove is under an exclusive contract at Fox).
But wait, there’s more. And even though I wish I could be this creative, I’m not making it up. The closing segment of the once-great “Meet the Press” featured David Gregory going mano a mano with Stephen Colbert, who was in his full conservative character. Comedy or fool’s gold? You be the judge.
Yes, David Gregory is a funny man, but he has no idea that we’re not laughing with him. Worse yet, the joke is always on us.
(Photo: Getty Images)