If you’ve watched or listened to the show recently, you already know that the governor of Florida, Rick “Skeletor” Scott, is on a partisan crusade to purge the Florida voter rolls of “illegal aliens.” He claims to have found almost 100 of them while in the process disqualifying tens of thousands of legal voters who just happen to have the same last name as someone who isn’t a citizen. Strangely, those names are all either Gonzales, Sanchez, Gomez or Martinez.
Today he tried to say that it’s no big deal – by revealing that in 2006 he, too, had been purged by election officials. They thought he was dead. You can hardly blame them.
Hey, Corpse-Face! If you really want to find an illegal alien who’s registered to vote in Florida, I can tell you exactly how to do it. Go upstairs in the governor’s mansion, go into the bathroom, turn on the light and stare directly into the face of the biggest illegal alien in Florida. Just by looking at you, we already know that you weren’t born on Earth. Admit it. You’re from that planet in “Avatar” and your blue skin is covered by tons of pancake makeup.
As for the illegal part – you’ve got that covered too. You were a sleazebag before you were elected (hey, what’s a little HMO and Medicaid fraud between friends?), and now the Department of Justice is suing you for illegally removing eligible Floridians from the voter rolls.
I’ve got a suggestion for you, Governor Ghoul. Why don’t you just purge everyone with the name Scott? That way we’re guaranteed to get at least one illegal alien out of the voting booth in November.
May the farce be with you! (See what I did there?)
(Photo: Getty Images)