Yesterday, Orly Taitz — dentist, lawyer, former real estate agent, failed Senate candidate and relentless birther — paid us a visit. For me, it was the delightful comedy experience of a lifetime.
Our 20 minutes together felt like several comedic lifetimes — each minute an eternity of hilarity, each second an exploding supernova of conspiracy fantasies strung together by just a tiny thread of crazy, like the faux pearl necklace she wears around her neck.
I was nice. I really was. Liberals are helpers. I tried to tell that her failed lawsuits may have been a sign that birtherism just isn’t her “thing.” Maybe that’s just not the color of your particular parachute, my new BFF. Sometimes you just need to find a new hobby. Yet no matter how gently I tried, she was happily unshakable in her mantra that the president is a “criminal” who treats us all like “idiots.” Orly is like that passenger who sits down next to you on a crowded bus and begins talking as if she’s known you all her life. Logic is not her strong suit. Actually, it doesn’t even come in her size.
Even Bill O’Reilly once described the dismissal of one of her many birther suits by saying, “The judge says you’re a nut.” But squirrels love nuts. And Moose loves Squirrel. And I love Orly, though I did actually trick her — lovingly — into saying “Boris.”
Still, I confess that deep down I have a soft spot for her special brand of crazy. I mean, come on — she compares herself with Nelson Mandela and Thurgood Marshall. At least she has good role models!
P.S. Orly, you had me at “Dosvedanya.”