I’m having the best time EVER here at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte. For one thing, it’s being held in a Right-To-Work-For-Less state, so boy-toy producer Chris Lavoie and Voice Deity Jim Ward have both taken automatic pay cuts for the entire week (although they don’t know that yet … shhh). Mama loves a bargain!
Seriously, North Carolina (where Mama’s own momma lives) has been incredibly hospitable to the Democrats, even though the humid weather has played total havoc with my hair. And yesterday’s thunderstorms were like the twister scene from “The Wizard of Oz” — all that was missing was Auntie Em!
Just for safety’s sake, they had to move the president’s acceptance speech tomorrow out of the big open-air stadium (which disappointed tens of thousands of people, including my big sister, Mary, and my nephew). The good news is that, once again, Democrats showed they’re way better at disaster preparedness than Republicans. Democrats saw a storm coming and they moved indoors. The GOP never saw Clint Eastwood coming and they got whacked with an empty chair.
There’s one scary thing about being in a swing state — you get to see all those commercials that the Koch brothers, Karl Rove and the right-wing super PACs are running on television. Remember that tiny fundamentalist guy, Gary Bauer, who ran for president back in 2000? You know who I’m talking about, the guy who fell off a stage flipping pancakes at a campaign event in New Hampshire. Well, he’s back. And he’s got a PAC — the Campaign for American Values. Their commercial started airing yesterday, and I did a spit take with my morning coffee when I saw it. It features a troubled couple — let’s call them Ozzie and Harriet — discussing a disturbing story in their newspaper:
“Obama is trying to force gay marriage on this country,” Harriet says, her brow furrowed. “That’s not the change I voted for. Marriage is between a man and a woman.”
Then Harriet plaintively asks Ozzie, “What can we do?”
Comfortingly, Ozzie says, “We can vote for someone with values.”
Fade to Romney-Ryan (who, strangely enough, look just like the perfect gay couple).
(Photo: Getty Images)