Todd Akin, the perfect Republican candidate

OK, can we all just agree that even Clay Aiken knows more about women than Todd Akin?

His whole idea that a super-powered va-jay-jay can create a special force field that blocks rapist sperm (while magically welcoming all the little Clooney and Pitt would-be zygotes) is so ridiculous that it would be laughable, were he just some average Joe-the-Plumber who didn’t know anything about female plumbing.

Unfortunately, this doofus is the Republican nominee for one of only a hundred U.S. Senate seats in the country. And just to add a little irony to the misogyny, he is a member of the House Science Committee. Comforting thought, isn’t it?

I learned more about women’s reproductive health from my high school health class than this idiot has figured out after fathering six children. In fact, I got my first big laugh ever when my teacher informed us that crab lice spread by swinging from hair to hair and I yelled out, “Geronimo!”

But I digress. Todd Akin is the perfect Republican candidate. He’s dumb enough to say offensive things about women without caring (until even Karl Rove says he’s a jerk) and he’s shameless enough to stay in the race when EVERYBODY, even Sarah “damn-the-lamestream-media full-speed-ahead” Palin is calling on him to drop out.

I say, “Go, Todd, go!”  I would say, “Drill, baby, drill!” but even Mama has her standards.

(Photo: Getty Images)