Opposing opinion: Shark Week sucks

When I decided to join the editorial staff at GamesRadar, I knew there would be challenges. As a diabetic horse who loves sugar cubes and games, I’ve grown accustomed to the slings and arrows my kind must suffer through. Simple tasks, like catching the train to work, are a daily struggle. Why just the other day, I was questioned by a police officer who wanted to take me in for disturbing the peace and horsing around. “Really officer,” I replied. “I’m not trying to block this fire exit. I just want to get to work. My identification? Sure. It’s in the right pocket hanging from my saddle. No, no. Your right.” It’s enough to drive any sane equine mad. Add in the always tiresome inquiries regarding my assumed acquaintance with TV’s Mr. Ed, and condescending compliments about how I’m surprisingly “articulate for a horse,” and it’s enough to make me want to take a trip to the glue factory. But I digress.

You see, as GamesRadar’s Senior Wildlife Editor, I’m here today to voice my concern - nay outrage - regarding GamesRadar’s Shark Week. Supporting the popular fascination with these underwater predators isn’t just misguided; it’s dangerous. Follow the money trail, and you’ll find that the Big Shark Lobby has managed to sink its teeth into a number of key areas by manipulating public policy, influencing foreign relations, and controlling international finance.

With the help of its big shark money, the Big Shark Lobby has also helped push an alarming number of pro-shark fishing legislation through congress, while dramatically reducing public funding for the United States Navy and coastguard. Over the last few years, the Big Shark Lobby has also dipped its insidious pectoral fins into several sectors of the entertainment industry, blacklisting anti-shark artists from Hollywood’s largest studios while promoting the production pro-shark propaganda, which are often loosely disguised as horror films, so-called “factual” nature documentary specials, or even high concept art.

One unexpected result of all this pro-shark lobbying: GamesRadar’s weeklong series of unapologetically biased articles celebrating a species of cold blooded killers dedicated to the destruction of all land-based mammals. Like dumb cows lining up for the slaughter, you non-horses foolishly bite into the Big Shark Lobby’s bait.

“What’s wrong with stuff about sharks?” one might ask. Why, they’re just zombies of the sea, cool kitsch like lawn gnomes and ironic t-shirts about Jesus that are both frightening and hilarious at the same time. Indeed, what is wrong with sharks? Well, everything. By supporting such blatantly shark-centric entertainment, you may be unwittingly paving the path to your own grave and dooming all of us to a future filled with smelly fish-centric games. That’s why I am now encouraging all readers to boycott the rest of GamesRadar’s Shark Week. Celebrating sharks only encourages them, making a worldwide shark apocalypse less a matter of “if” - and more a matter of “when.”

*This article is written by B.Buttercup, from the "Top 7...Horses."