John Fugelsang: ‘Stop fighting gay weddings and start fighting straight divorce’

John Fugelsang from the Jan. 9, 2013, edition of “Viewpoint.”

Tonight’s commentary? Church is so gay.

Specifically, the Cathedral Church of Saint Peter and Saint Paul, also known as the National Cathedral, in Washington, D.C.

The neogothic house of worship is the sixth-largest cathedral in the world. President Teddy Roosevelt was there when they began building it in 1907, President George H.W. Bush was there when they finished in 1990. Congress has designated it our national house of prayer; it was the location of the funerals for Presidents Eisenhower, Ford and Reagan. Martin Luther King gave his final Sunday sermon there, and Helen Keller is buried on the grounds.

Today the cathedral made history again when its leadership announced that the church will begin hosting same-sex weddings — which is sorta like saying they’re having a funeral for intolerance.

Predictably, many right-wing bloggers and even more tweeters are acting like D.C. didn’t just make gay marriage legal, but mandatory. The notion that taxpaying citizens in a society based on freedom and liberty can marry who they want has outraged many homophobic followers of noted non-homophobe Jesus.

All over the interwebs there were cries of “Sodom and Gommorrah in Washington,” despite the fact that Sodom and Gommorrah is a story about not being kind to strangers and has nothing to do with committed relationships between consenting, loving adults.

It’s fitting that the cathedral is a few blocks away from the Supreme Court, where gay marriage is soon to be debated by the justices — six of whom are men in long black dresses.

But just as the Village People couldn’t stop the music, nothing’s going to stop the fake Christian haters from hating. These are people who don’t care that Jesus didn’t mention gays, they don’t follow the book of Leviticus and they don’t understand Paul’s letter to the Romans. But at least now they have something to blame the next hurricane on.

But I’ll remind our homophobic friends of the real story here — that allowing people to love and marry who they want is truly American, genuinely conservative and profoundly Christian. Gay people are like Mexicans and cannabis plants — if God didn’t like them, he’d stop creating so many.

And if you really care about ‘saving marriage,’ then stop fighting gay weddings and start fighting straight divorce.