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Create Bar Karma Episode 107
Develop the story of the robber. Posted by Jim_Goldblum | DECEMBER 14, 2010
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A pitch from gdwessel is now for development. This action packed story would make for a great Bar Karma show! As we looked to develop the story further, we reached out to another community member Luke1 who submitted a great opening scene with his pitch that we feel could combine well with gdwessel’s submission. Below is the combined synopsis for your challenge:
The show starts out with a view of the bar at "night" (" " since there is really no sense of time in the bar), Doug, Dayna, and James are all asleep in their rooms. Then all of a sudden a yell is heard from the bar. Immediately Doug wakes up and rushes to see what the commotion is. A young man, dirty and bloodsplattered, carrys a gun in one hand and a woman's handbag in another. He looks out the door-window, expectantly, gun up. As Doug enters, the man spins around, pointing the gun at Doug. Doug attempts to talk the gunman down but has little success. Eventually, Dayna and James hear the racket within the bar and join the scene. Upon seeing Dayna, he sets his sights on her, pointing the gun in her direction, with James quipping "They always threaten the women first." Doug tries to rush the gunman but gets pistol whipped for his trouble. James takes charge of the matter, putting the barrel of the gun against his own forehead and daring the assailant to pull the trigger. The gunman finally backs off.
As James pours everyone a shot (Doug, whiskey; Dayna, rum; gunman, tequila; James, absinthe), the gunman tells his tale -- he was robbing a coffee shop and it went south, accidentally shooting and killing the cashier at point blank range. As he made a run for it, he instinctively grabbed this woman's bag. Now it's not just police, but some sort of private security firm after him. As Doug is ready to throw the robber out of his bar, James suggests figuring out WHY he's wanted for more than holding up a coffee shop, even if it did end in a murder.
Dayna and James go through the items of the bag, until they come upon an iPad. Going through the contents of bag and computer, they determine the woman whose bag this was is a big pharmaceutical R&D scientist, and on her iPad are the working notes and formulas for a pill James knows as "Stardust." James gets very sullen: this was originally marketed as an antidepressant, which then became a big party drug... until abusers of the drug started showing symptoms of zombie behavior, literally. No flesh-eating, but braindead, and worse.
Thus, the robber's choice: run and be wanted for murder; or turn himself in, and let thousands die inside, becoming virtual undead. Doug says no matter what the robber is out the door and into the police's arms, but Dayna lets him realize he has a choice that could better society, even if nobody else knows it. With that, the robber agrees to surrender to police for killing the barrista, but before he does he smashes the computer to pieces, damaging the hard drive irreparably, balancing his karma. He's taken one life, but has saved many others in the process. Something that James, Dayna and Doug all drink to.
The results are in!
Your votes gave this pitch an on-air credit in an episode of Bar Karma. Nicely done!