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Can you develop the story of the music teacher? Posted by Jim_Goldblum | MARCH 4, 2011

satellitelady
satellitelady
2 years ago |

Creation Studios Storyline

by satellitelady
  • Scene 1 It starts with a student.
  • Scene 2 He hands the violin to the teacher"thanks for letting me try. The teacher, Mr Michaels"You never played before, ever Henry?" Henry smiles"No, I just like music. I watched some videos how to play though, does that count?" Mr M, Watched, never held one like this before?" Henry, No, why?" Mr M"Would you like one to practice on son?" Henry's face lights up, "I'm afraid it's not allowed at the shelter sir, but thanks." Without another word he turns and leaves . The teacher looks down at the Violin and at the door the yound homeless man had just exited. "Amazing...
  • Scene 3 Mr. M walks to the window and watches the bedraggled man disappear into the crowds, goes back to his desk. He picks up the Newspaper, headlines Massive education closures. Music department first to announce cuts. Tosses it back down. A pair of young people college student come in carrying boxes. "Here sir, for the sale. We'll raise enough to keep it open, wait and see."
  • Scene 4 Henry looked in the windows reflection at his bearded face and smiled. "Someone yelled"Thief" Henry took off running more out of instinct than guilt. Turning the corner, down and alley, opened a dumpster to jump in and fell through the door of Bar Karma. Doug jumped as the man rolled through the door. "Now thats new." Dayna laughed."Um,not really, just to you." she walked over and took Henry's hand. "I knew you'd show up eventually Henry." "Henry smiled back, "I know, maybe this time." James poured Henry a tall beer, "Come on old friend, I've been saving it for you." Henry dusted ff his pants. "Thanks James."
  • Scene 5 Doug, looking confused at James and Dayna, you guys know this guy?Henry took a long drink and smiled,"We're old friends, sorta."Dayna laughed,"What did you do this time Henry?"Henry shruggs, played a violin. Why?"Doug"So, lots of people play violins"James wiped the bar, Henry plays everything Doug and nothing. Henry is Henry."Dayna puts her arm around Henry. You ready to go back out there yet?"Henry,"Soon, James one more if you don't mind."He lays a bill on the counter, James nods. You ready to play cards again Henry or wait until next visit?"Henry shruggs, Next time James, It's always the same. I'm where I'm suppose to be life is good, isn't it James."James sits the bottle down, "Might get better soon, sure you don't want to play? Lets take a look at the tv then while you wait.
  • Scene 6 (this is a bit out of sequence, Mr M sees Henry take off running and has been trying to figure out where he went. He's standing in the alley. this is what they see on tv) Henry looks up, I know that guy, he let me play the violin I told you about. James shuts off the tv"So you do have something new in the cards old friend, want to play?" Henry finishes his drink."Maybe next time James. He turns opens the door and leaves. Dayna starts to say somethings James"It's not time, not yet."
  • Scene 7 Inside a building Mr.M is arranging items for the sale, lots of useless items, A man walks in"You don't really think you can raise enough money to save the program do you?" Mr M still arranging things,"You never know, I've got six more weeks till its over..you never know." The man pats him on the shoulder,"We need more teachers like you son."
  • Scene 8 Doug walks in James office James looks up"Knock?" Oh..Whose that Henry guy, I've not seen him before, what is he going to change in the world? Looks like he's about used up?" James touches the lights on the globe,"Far from it, see these lights, he touched all of them and more. But it stops. See this light..thats the man in the alley, he touches lives too. They seem to almost connect then fade apart. Doug"So fix it then, thats what you do?"James see the 2 lights almost touch on the gobes of lives.. "might be time at that"
  • Scene 9 James turns on tv"Mr M heads back up the alley when three kids jump out,"Hey dude, give us your money!" The music teacher tried to talk them some sense into them, one of the kids pull knife, just then the old man walks into view "Okay boys, thats enough!" Kids turn and decide to get him also. Old man takes fighting stance picks up hunk of woods."You willing to die for this, cause I am!" Kids freak run off. James shuts off tv, I think maybe Henry will be back, any time now...
  • Scene 10 Mr. M looks at Henry, Where'd you come from Henry? Where'd you go? Oh and thanks by the way.. Henry grins and walks teacher to building. "Better stay out of the alleys young man, they're not safe now a days." Mr. M smiles and watches Henry walk away, secretly he follows him, back down the alley. Henry looks around, knocks on a trash can, climbs in and Stands in Bar Karma. "Anyone for a game of cards?" Dayna laughs. Suddenly Mr. M walks through the door. Dayna starts laughing, Doug steps back and James gets out another glass. "Two for the price of one fellas."
  • Scene 11 Mr M looks around and is quite taken back, henry grabs his arm. Come on kid, its on me. I'll explain, better yet. James, turn on some tv, I wanna see something new today." Doug looks up,"me too and I'm sure so does He, points at Mr. M"
  • Scene 12 The tv shows a conductor, beautiful classical music being played. Then band room, beautiful music in an empty room, instruments on vacant chairs. Mr M sits at his desk packing. Next scene, Henry walking away from concert hall. James shuts it off. Well Henry thats new. Henry nods, looks like someone needs me for a change." Dayna touched his hand"The world needs music and then touches Mr.M's hand "And teacehrs." Mr M looks down"And Money.."
  • Scene 13 Henry sighs and takes a drink, "You know what happened last time James, remember?" James smiles,"The roads are always different, don'y judge one road for them all. What you gotta loose? Time? Money?" Henry laughs, "Money, no need for the dirty stuff." dayna looks at Mr. M.
  • Scene 14 Mr. M leans over to Doug"Any one want to tell me whats going on?" Doug looks at James, "Don't ask me, I'm new here. James gets out the cards, hesitates"Henry, want to help someone for a change. Is it time?" Henry laughs, stands up from bar. "Sure, I suppose but like this?" He touches his worn out shirt. Dayna takes his hand. Follow me."
  • Scene 15 Mr. M still shaken looks as dayna leads Henry away, he looks at James."It's like I know that guy some how. But I don't understand how any of this can save the music department. It's great you guys are helping him, but..It's over, it's dead. The music department ,s dead." James chuckles. The tv shows more concert hall musice,
  • Scene 16 "You know what son, "You helped someone who has needed it for a long time, even though you got problems. Thats rare today. Might be something we can do today. Karmas a hard lady to know, you touch lots of lives. They are interupted as Dayna walks into room followed by a man in a suit and tie, elegant sophisticated.
  • Scene 17 Mr M. took a breath, I know him! Thats Henry Kilong, he's a genius a musical Savant. I don't understand. James smiled broadly. This time two people had a problem and there is one design. He needs you and you need him. Henry lloked in the mirro."James, do you have my things? James took wallet from below the bar. Yep right where you left them.
  • Scene 18 Mr. M puts his hand out to shake his hand"It's an honor sir." Henry laughs. Come on young man, take me to that sale of yours, take me to meet your students. He looks back at James."I'll see another day you my friend" James watches them leave. Doug turns on tv"Headlines. School saved music department finaced indefinately. ..The jukebox begins to play once again...

7 comments // Can you develop the story of the music teacher? - A pitch from satellitelady.

  • satellitelady
  • Piper_Lynch
  • satellitelady
  • aaron1972
  • Rebecca_Phillips
  • satellitelady
    • 0
      satellitelady  
    • You have the story right, I know the screen writers really pick the end, but to me, he was a musical genius(A Savant) who quit, he's a rich guy . He didn't like the fame, felt he was just not doing anything for the world. He knows James because James tried to help but Henry wasn't ready, they became friends, every now and then, coming to the bar, maybe Dayna's jukebox. At the end when he comes out dressed up, it's in his conductors tux, ready to face the world by helping Henry and the music department. I wanted some humor(the trash dumpster)
      I'll mess with storymaker and clear it up a bit. I'm glad you like it, so do I.

    • 2 years ago
  • Rhi_Leal
    • 0
      Rhi_Leal  
    • I like this story, but I am a little confused on how Henry knows the people at Bar Karma. I like the idea of it being a mystery in the beginning, but I don't feel you cover it at the end. Can you add something about it at the end of the episode?

      Also I am confused about how the music department was saved. Was Henry a rich musical genius who needed a break and became a bum who then decides that it is time to come back to the world in order to help the teacher. Or was Henry a man who has been down on his luck and his karma finally paid off. Did the teacher discover him and his musical genius and once it is shown to the world both are saved. Henry becoming a great musician and the teacher's department getting the recognition it needed to keep it.

      Please clear up your story a little bit, so that things are a little more clear. It is a wonderful idea and I would love to see what you could do with it.

    • 2 years ago