Friends // Current TV

Have you ever deleted a friend from Facebook – if so what made you decide to delete that person? Was it an old school friend you have absolutely nothing in common with now, an ex who is now annoyingly happily married, a boring colleague from some past job that still “likes” everything you do, perhaps a too inquisitive relative, or maybe – despite being able to see their profile – you simply just didn’t recognise them? In the online world we make and end friendships differently, sometimes casually and sometimes with great agony, but ultimately it highlights the fragility of friendships in way that real life rarely does. With more than 500 million users world wide, and each user having on average 130 friends, Facebook has become the natural place to connect, stalk, perv, interact, and disconnect with your friends online. So there was only a question of time before someone would come up with a clever and provocative art project that combines the idea of the struggle between the permanence and impermanence of online friendships. Current.com caught up with American born London-based artist Brian Lobel, the brave/crazy man who is about to throw Facebook etiquette out of the window with his new project “purge” – a brutal game of Facebook friendship maintenance – in which he allows complete strangers to judge which of his 1355 Facebook friends to keep or delete. Every good art project has a point - what is the point of 'purge'?The point of Purge is to get people to think about what we are doing on social networking sites, and how we are affected by our virtual lives. I'm not a person who says "It's terrible! None of these are your 'real friends'!" Nor am I a person who thinks Facebook or other networking sites are the best, or most innocent things. The point is to get people to reflect on how they interact with these spaces. Are you letting strangers do your culling of friends on Facebook because you don't dare to delete them yourself?Ha. I've thought this might be the interpretation but no. I delete people with regularity - people who annoy me, or people who I don't know really well, people that I just don't wish to be 'connected' to, etc etc. When I've deleted someone, it is always for a different reason - which makes me think that everyone has different reasons/ethics for how they interact with these spaces. The rationale for having strangers do it is so that I can hear other people's ethics around who should and should not be your electronic contact. Some people will say family is an absolute KEEP, while others think you should NEVER be facebook friends with your father. By inviting strangers, and allowing them to stay for as long as they like, I hope to embody their ethics and learn about how others use these spaces.Will you come up with what you will say about your friends on the spot or has this project forced you to actually re-evaluate what all your friends mean to you so you can make a good case for them at the purge?I have practiced a number of times (60 friends in 60 minutes) but it's boring to talk about your friendships by yourself. Otherwise, it's improvised in hopes of showing what I really know and really think about my friends. During these practices I've come across a number of good friends who I just don't know where they are, how they are, and it's prompted me to be in touch. This is a really nice thing, and also sad that it takes the threat of me deleting them for me to find out where they live. Also, I invited friends to submit their 1 minute, so that they can have their voice heard. I've had a lot of amazing emails reminding me of great stories. In this way, the project is really personally exciting.If you delete a friend is that it - can they never be your Facebook friend again?No. The performance is as much about impermanence as it is about permanence. If we disconnect, we can always reconnect in the future. In some ways this is what's best and what's worst about facebook. Are there secretly people that you are hoping to delete and never hear of again?Of course! But just about 5. Out of 1355 it's not that bad.Are you scared that you will actually lose some good friends over this project - have you already?Yes. This is a project with very real, real-life consequences. Some people were very offended by the proposition of our friendship on the chopping block, or me making a game out of our friendship. While I respect their opinions, I wish they had realised that I was trying to create something meaningful, from real life, and that I have tried an ethical approach (alerting everyone via email about the project, allowing them to share their story, etc). To these people, I would say call me, or find some other way to stay connected. A few people I was really shocked when I realised they had deleted me... but I guess this is all part of what we are doing on here - so much emotional engagement hanging on these pixels... it can be frightening. So how did it feel being de-friended by your Facebook friends over this?Some I was very sad about, honestly, while others I didn't really know them, so I guess it was good that they were gone (although I would have liked them in the line-up so that I'd have nothing to say for 60 seconds and I could take a pee break)Is it really worth jeopardising friendships for the sake of art?My work has always been about vulnerability and sharing something intimate with an audience. Purge is no exception to this. I don't think of Purge as jeopardising our friendships - if it wasn't strong enough to go through a stupid facebook performance, it probably wasn't strong enough to be depended on in a time of need. Can your friends find out what you say about them?I will have a live stream of the judging on my Facebook page, but only my friends will be able to access it to protect their privacy. The reason for the stream is really so that the people who are being talked about know that I'm not talking smack about them or being disrespectful. It's also a way to keep me honest about the activity. If they can’t view the stream they can contact me directly and I would happily talk to them about it. There have been SO many emails about the project, I presume this will happen again after it's over.Why do you think that the act of being de-friended on Facebook is such a sensitive issue?If I knew I wouldn't have to do this show. Is it a reflection on ourselves? A reflection on someone else's bad mood? Is it the seeming-permanence of it? Is it that they didn't let you give your side of the story? That they were offended by the groups you join? I once de-friended someone when she said she was a 'fan' of Jenny from Gossip Girl and thought this was deplorable... It wasn't really that she was a fan of Jenny (although I do hate that character) it was that we weren't friends, I was offended by bigotry I had read in her posts and felt like I didn't want her to be connected to me, even via pixels. But what did was the straw that broke our relationship's back? Jenny Humphrey.In real life when you start getting tired of a friend and you don't get anymore - you just start phasing them out. On Facebook you have to make an active choice to stop being someone's friend - is that what makes it so hard to cull the numbers for people?That could be it, definitely. To be on the receiving end of that active choice makes you think 'What, you couldn't even be connected to me via pixels?' What inspired this project?After my first love died, I went to collate all our old emails and noticed that he had deleted me from Friendster (a pre-facebook site). I was devastated, even though we had become facebook friends and were best friends when he died... But it reminded me of how much we had hurt each other in 2006. And why he would disconnect. And the impossibility to reconnect. It started a lot of thinking about the investment in these sites and why we are here.The funding for the project came from motiroti, and their commission called WhatCounts? about the UK census. I think the project nicely considers how we count ourselves and others.Were there any other art projects that inspired "purge"? I'm really inspired by Michael Landy's Break Down, where the artist destroyed all of his worldly possessions. Purge is interested in impermanence and how, even if we want to destroy things, it may not be forever. Do you think social media sites like Friendster/Facebook/MySpace/Bebo have changed the nature of friendship, and if so in a positive or negative way?In some ways, it's so positive - I stay in touch with many more people than I ever would have. I know if they didn't exist I would lose people and only be able to depend on my mother for community gossip (finding out who had children, who got divorced, etc) so I'm happy to see these faces here. In other ways, regarding friendships, it can make me sometimes complacent. It's both extremely positive and extremely negative... and I think I'm comfortable with things being both at the same time.How can you become one of the panellists who decides on your friends' future?Come to the cafes that are hosting the judging events! I spread the sessions across London to get different people, with different ethics around friendships, etc. Come for as long as you want! It's free, but I do ask people to buy coffee/snack/meal at the cafe as they've all generously donated their space.
To watch Brian Lobel's "purge" in action visit any of the following cafes betwen 12pm-6pm:
7th July @ Brick Box, Unit 41 Brixton Village Market, SW98th July @ Jasmine Kitchen, 25 White Church Lane, E19th July @ First Out, St Giles High Street, WC2H10th July @ Off Broadway, Broadway Market, E8Have you ever deleted a friend from Facebook – if so what made you decide to... more