Hooking Up // Current

Sexual Hook Ups Damned By Chastity Groups, Hailed By New Feminists

"Today's first base is kissing ... plus fondling this and that. Second base is oral sex. Third base is going all the way. Home plate is learning each other's names."

So wrote Tom Wolfe in his 2000 book "Hooking Up" -- a term that describes a wide range of coupling from making out to intercourse.

For more than a decade, the "hookup" has been an integral part of the American college experience -- a result of the increased permissiveness that came with the sexual revolution of the 1970s.

Just recently at Harvard University -- sometimes pegged as "godless and liberal" -- the hookup culture came under fire, mostly from a small but growing abstinence group called True Love Revolution.

They argue that women who invoke a new kind of feminism -- the right to have sex whenever and with whomever they choose -- is demeaning to women.

"A popular thing to say among this intellectual crowd, in the ivies and in feminism in general, is to say that sex is empowering and a real woman uses her sexuality in any way she pleases," said Rachel Wagley, a 20-year-old sociology student who is TLR's co-president. "It's blatantly false and a lie that this culture tells to girls for their own benefit." Silpa Kovvali, a 21-year-old computer science concentrator, argued in a Harvard Crimson editorial that there is nothing "inherently degrading" about engaging in casual sex -- in fact, she said, it can be "empowering."

But chastity groups seem to be on to something -- a growing unease that although hooking up can be liberating, it can also be annoying and sometimes destructive.

"It's a huge part of life here," said Maariya Bajwa, a senior at the University of Florida. "When I used to take the bus I'd hear random people having conversations about random hook ups they had. I was like, 'Uh guys, we're on a bus. I don't need to hear about your one-night stands.'"

By the end of senior year, the average college student has had 6.9 hookups, mostly after a "good bit of drinking," according to a survey of 4,000 students at five universities by Stanford University sociology professor Paula England.

Her work revealed that while 24 percent of the respondents had reported never having hooked up, 28 percent had more than 10 such casual sexual encounters.

England, who set out to explore the dating habits of college students, found they were kissing, having oral sex and sometimes intercourse with "no expectation that either party has an interest in moving toward a relationship."

"There's a lot of degrading treatment of some women and it is empoweringly free for other women," she told ABCNews.com."Today's first base is kissing ... plus fondling this and that. Second base is oral... more

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'Hooking Up' - Did HBOlab's Web Celeb Experiment Work? - Tubefilter News

We attended the AFI Digifest yesterday, where HBOlab gave us a preview of their season finale cliffhanger of Hooking Up. I smell second season. A few hints: Meg (Jessica Rose) may be facing a big break-up, but she’s not going to end up lonely.

Hooking Up castIf you’ve been deeply following the show (i.e. you’re friends with Hooking Up on Facebook or better yet the show’s own social network: Baskbook) you know about the character of Dylan’s hidden plot line, or in TV-speak, the show’s b-story. Dylan met Meg at freshman orientation, they hooked up, and he’s been trying to get her attention every since. If there is a second season of Hooking Up it’s safe to say Dyan’s day is coming.

But perhaps the bigger question is, has Hooking Up been a successful experiment? It’s safe to say that so far HBOlab has ventured into the land of web television somewhat cautiously. Speaking at Digifest, HBOlab Director Danila Koverman says the name Runaway Box was created so that HBOlab could experiment, and “fly under the radar.” Hooking Up is the first show out of HBOlab show to get more heavily branded as HBO.

Additionally, to differentiate the show from other college themed web series, HBO brought together web celebs like Jessica Rose (lonelygirl15), KevJumba, Sxephil, DaveDays, Nalts and Michael Buckley, highly touting the millions of views they had garnered on the web in a trailer advertising the show.

It’s hard not to critically compare view numbers, when Hooking Up’s trailer so heavily played up its stars views. But for such a venerable who’s who line-up of clickable personalities, realistically, Hooking Up is not yet competing with itsHooking Up 2 own stars when it comes to views. Granted, Hooking Up went live October 1st, and most of these personalities have had a presence online for a few years. Nonetheless, Kevjumba’s “The Next Big Music Artist” video which has been up for a month or so, has over a million views while Hooking Up’s most recent episode (which heavily features Kevjumba) is nearing just 80,000 views. Subscriber numbers don’t yet stack up either. Kevjumba’s channel has over 335,000 YouTube subscribers while Hooking Up has around 47,000. Overall, the series is nearing the 2 Million views mark, which isn’t shabby for a little over a month.

Only time will tell if HBOlab can compete truly compete with the YouTube players they have recruited and touted. So far, given the drop-off in views from Episode 1 (750k) to Episode 2 (254k) and subesquent eps, it looks like the initial buzz might be wearing off.We attended the AFI Digifest yesterday, where HBOlab gave us a preview of their season... more

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Would your husband use your last name?

A Los Angeles man has won the right to use his wife's last name following a lawsuit against the State California that lasted two and a half years.

After he married, 31-year old Michael Bijon wanted to use his wife's last name, but found that though it was a relatively simple process for a married woman to adopt her husband's last name, with the roles reversed, he would be subject to an entirely different process involving a $350 fee, a court appearance, a public announcement, and a whole pile of paperwork.

After getting stuck in a mountain of red tape, Michael and his wife Diana Bijon called on the California chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union for a little help with their problem. Following their successful lawsuit, California changed its laws, making it possible for married couples and domestic partners to put their preferred name on marriage and DMV paperwork, irrespective of sex.

This is certainly a change that's long overdue. To quote the ACLU's SoCal legal director, Mark Rosenbaum, "This disposes of the rule in California that the male surname is the marital name to the same trash bin where dowries were once tossed out."

As a writer, I'd used a pen name for almost a decade, so changing my name after marriage just didn't make sense. Being a feminist, it also rankled that it was the woman who was asked to sacrifice part of her identity, unnecessarily, and by default.

I've been married now for the better part of a decade, and find the seemingly old-fashioned attitudes and expectations of people and institutions with regards to surname choice quite bemusing. Much of my family still insists on calling me Mrs. X on correspondence. They know full well that I never changed my name, in part to make a point. I also use Ms. rather Mrs., since I think that the change in courtesy title according to marital status, which is another women only thing, is also anachronistic. I figure that those who persistently call me Mrs. X are making a point of their own about the traditional values to which I refuse to subscribe.

Personally, I've always liked the double-barreled option, which literally brings both sides together with a new family name. Michael and Diana Bijan could have gone this route without a change in the law, but in their case, Michael felt far closer to his wife's father, which is why he wanted to use her last name only. For me, the double-barreled choice didn’t make sense, since my name was also my trade mark (and our names joined with a hyphen sounded a little convoluted).

The current humorous Hollywood fashion for combining names (as in TomKat and Brangelina) actually seems rather sensible to me. If John Mayer marries Jennifer Aniston, they could go by the name Mayerston or Anistayer. Similarly, if George Clooney ever decides to get hitched to Sarah Larson, they have an option of adopting Larsooney or Cloonson as their new mutual family name. At least it'd make for a plethora of interesting new hybrid names (though probably some unfortunate ones too, what if Helen Hunt marries Cameron Crowe?).

Then again, I like that other Hollywood tradition of getting married and keeping the name people actually know you by. That option certainly made the most sense to me. What do you think?A Los Angeles man has won the right to use his wife's last name following a lawsuit... more