Gay Life // Current TV

For Kids and Youth Thinking About Suicide

Full Story does not fit please visit link to read full story.
http://chicagomusicpromotions.blogspot.com/2012/02/for-kids-and-teenagers-thinking-about.html

There is many websites out there to try and change your minds about hurting yourself but i am going to come real to you be very blunt and hopefully change your mind. I am not some licensed nurse or doctor but i can relate from past issues and things i went through myself.

killing yourself does not fix anything except the bad guys are winning. Also life is NOT all that bad to just say ok i am going to kill myself because i am being called names, being bullied in school or no one likes me because i dress different, look different or have a different outlook on life. Sure its rough and everyone has there own mental and physical limits for damage i understand that since i also went through the same mental damage, my situation was a bit different (well a lot different). It was a combination between divorced family, neglect, abuse, being gay, being different and also bouncing from a big city to a small town. I was never really the small town type of person and after having to live in 1 for part of my junior high and high school years only thing i can say about that is it was interesting. This stuff happened both in a Small Town and Major City so its not demographically challenged when it comes to bullies and also nature of other people in jr high or high school.

My main problem was i had very bad teeth as a kid and young adult since no medical insurance, poor family structure. People used to mess with me all the time because of my bad teeth and if they only known how much it was going to cost to fix them they would have been stunned. Secondary Problem : I was a very confused bisexual boy who was more gay then bisexual and i really did not know about my own personal identity until i was about 16 years old. Now being bisexual back when i was a youth was more accepted then just identifying as gay. Sure i was a total closet case to the 3rd degree at the time my living situation was better since i was being raised by a guardian who was also gay so i could act or be as gay as i wanted to at home or around him but when i was around friends or at school it was much more different total different persona (outlook to others). After a while i was coming out to my very close friends but you know how that goes sooner or later it is always going to leak out to the general school population and that is where it turned interesting for me and a bit complicated.

(Chicago IL) (Age 13-15)

So Then Class Prom came around i had a lot of offers from girls but that was not my interest, there was this guy i always had my eye on in school and i had suspected he was gay but i did not want to really push it as in asking him or even hinting to him i was gay so i just let it go. That was always a big thing in school for Prom and also school dances etc and it really does effect you as a person if you cannot really be FREE or NOT worried about dancing with someone else of the same sex. So then i met this boy who was my age who was gay (amazing) but i was not out like he was, i can pretty much admit he had more balls then me when it came to being out about his sexuality and his nature he made me evaluate myself in many aspects. We had started to get to know each other however we would be more open about our sexuality at my house or his house rather then school we were boyfriends outside of school (basically) but during school we did not associate as being boyfriends or being together (well i did not) but he associated me of dating him and telling everyone we were together, for me it effected me since all these people i have had on the back burners since i started going to this school is now trying to come at me like they come at him and well personally i will not deal with all that drama and headache so my foot was installed upside these bullies heads a few times to put them into there place. However i had ex-communicated myself from this boy i had actually loved and cared for and got into a small fight with him mostly it was to protect us both from anyone who was more strong then us and or wanted to fight either of us. I wanted to hide behind this persona of i am not gay "no homo" and leave me the hell alone. I feel bad i had got into this argument with this boy i liked and loved and years later i had found him on facebook and apologized to him it just took decades later to come to that conclusion in that book.

Moved to Small Town (Chicago IL to Sealy Texas)

Well 1 year me and my guardian had moved to texas since his job moved to houston and so he wanted to raise me in a small town away from the gangs and other issues in houston so we lived in sealy texas about 50 miles west of houston. Now arriving at this school was much different then urban school systems and also the whole redneck country living was a bit mentally challenging on many scales coming from someone who just came from thugs to people who have cows, drive pickup trucks and drink WAY to much beer and smoke more weed then what city kids do. (not sure if that was good or bad).

(Sealy Texas (Age 15-17)

Other students who was brave enough used to try and bully me since well they were sort of scared of me since i came from a big city to a small town and they really did not know how to size me up since i was NEW and i gave a nice persona of some not to mess with type of person. However inside i was a wreck i never really had friends and i was not really social with people i would always protect other people who were getting bullied since in my mind they were just some country rednecks who i could care less about. My Actual friends they known some stuff about me as in i am a nice calm person they never really known about my lifestyle and i never really "came out" in school or to my peers it was a very different generation back then and i would rather not have to woop someones butt back then, due to my anger level since all the past trauma i had went through it was not the best of options to get into fights since well i would probably be in prison for involuntary killing someone (just for going nuts). I was basically the big city kid who no one known anything about me who wore regular cloths that were not cowboy boots, button up shirts or blue jeans. I was very quiet and to myself i really did not want to know anyone even though over time they sort of just met me instead, i was the unique one everyone wanted to know they always classified chicago as gangster shoot em up type of city. I think that is why no one really messed with me at this country school since i was from chicago and they thought i would come and shoot them later or something. Deep down all i wanted was friends but i was different i was this quiet gay boy who was very reserved about his life and personality and i did not want anyone getting close to my heart. I did not act gay, look gay or have that gay persona i was very in the closet there as well. This school was much different when it came to gym class and showers in 1 big room without shower stalls or well partitions it was all open with just shower heads and also soap on stands.Full Story does not fit please visit link to read full story.... more

Mattchicago
added this
3 months ago
|
0 comments

Larry Kramer’s The Normal Heart Wins Three 2011 Tony Awards

Larry Kramer’s “The Normal Heart,” which originally was performed at... more

disembedded
added this
12 months ago
|
0 comments

Harvey Milk Day 2011: You’ve Got to Give Them Hope

Although California is presently the only state with an official Harvey Milk Day,... more

disembedded
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

FACE OF THE DAY !!!!

Former House majority leader Tom Delay leaves the Travis County Jail after being... more

gerardange
added this
1 year ago
|
15 comments

Dare: The Seductive Delight of Hidden Secrets

“Dare” is an acclaimed short film directed by Adam Salky, an award-winning... more

disembedded
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk LIVE Saturday 7th August 2010

Saturday's edition of my three times a week LIVE talk show. Watch or listen to... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk LIVE Tuesday 3rd August 2010

Tuesday's edition of my three times a week LIVE talk show.Watch or listen to the... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

Gay Pakistan - 'less inhibited than West'

Throughout South Asia, homosexuality has been a taboo subject. But there are signs in... more

ayipis
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

How I Confronted My Inner Racist | Living in THE QUEER Times | Gay News

Mark Olmsted is clearly one of the hottest writers today with features stories at the... more

Jeffrey_Rosenberg
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

Gay Games Opens in Colgone Germany

Will be in German this whole week covering The Gay Games 2010 which starts this... more

Jeffrey_Rosenberg
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

Queer Identity Politics at the Crossroads of the World

The Gothamologist explores the nature of scenes and labels in Times Square.

TheGothamologist
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

Europride in Poland

The 18th edition of Europride, the annual European lesbian, gay, bisexual and... more

Jeffrey_Rosenberg
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

Love Lessons from the Other Side of 50

The Queer Times feature writer Mark Olmsted reveals the lessons he learned in love... more

Jeffrey_Rosenberg
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk LIVE Saturday 9th July 2010

In today's show : How can I remember to hit the record button ? Tea... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk LIVE Tuesday 6th July 2010

Tuesday's edition of my twice a week LIVE talk show.Watch the show here on... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk LIVE Thursday 1st July 2010

Thursday's edition of my twice a week LIVE talk show.Watch the show here on... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk LIVE Tuesday 29th June 2010

Tuesday's edition of my twice a week talk show.Watch the show at here on CURRENT... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk LIVE Thursday 24th June 2010

Thursday's edition of my twice a week LIVE talk show.Watch the show here on... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

United Kingdom Talk Tuesday 22nd June 2010

Tuesday's edition of my twice a week LIVE talk show.Watch the show here on... more

ChrisReardon
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

Gay Pride Month: A Celebration of Loving Feelings for Cherished Others

For all of us, there are genuine needs and wishes, deep longings for human warmth,... more

disembedded
added this
1 year ago
|
0 comments

select your country

Community Spotlight

TAGS

tagged w/ Gay Life

top videos

find current on tv

find current online

recent comments

© 2012 Current TV, LLC All Rights Reserved

the basics

follow us online

tools

stay in touch

© 2012 Current TV, LLC
All Rights Reserved