Hugh Hefner // Current TV

Hugh Hefner's Son, Marston Hefner Charged With Beating Girlfriend

The 21-year-old son of Hugh Hefner, Marston Hefner, has been charged with one charge... more

EllaMax
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3 months ago
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Blast Off: Playboy Bunny Club in Space (IMAGE)

Not a joke -- The gaming room will include a massive roulette game where the visitors... more

StewSteve
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3 months ago
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Hugh Hefner's Son Marston Did THIS To Claire Sinclair

TMZ has the photo of the 'alleged' domestic abuse Playmate of the Year... more

ineedmyfix
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4 months ago
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Hugh Hefner's Son, Marsten, Arrested For Assaulting Playmate Girlfriend

Hugh Hefner's son Marsten was arrested this past weekend over an alleged... more

ineedmyfix
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4 months ago
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Hugh Hefner’s Son Marston Arrested For Attacking Playmate Claire Sinclair

Playboy honcho Hugh Hefner’s son, Marston Hefner, was reportedly arrested at... more

c7girl
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4 months ago
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The unexpurgated Mike Edison: Dirty! Dirty! Dirty! (Video Interview)

Video interview with Mike Edison, author of Dirty! Dirty! Dirty! Of Playboys, Pigs,... more

andelman
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4 months ago
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Crystal Harris Auctioning Off Hugh Hefner Engagement Ring

25-year-old Crystal Harris called off her engagement with 85-year-old Playboy founder... more

EllaMax
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8 months ago
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Rewritten Headlines: Boehner to Hefner

Tony D rewrites the headlines to dumb down the news even further.

TonyDiGerolamo
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10 months ago
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2 comments

Crystal Harris Backtracks on Hef Sex Interview, Blames Howard Stern

The only future this girl has is in porn.... more

ineedmyfix
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10 months ago
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The Playmates Defend Hefner's Sex Life

It's still icky... more

ineedmyfix
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10 months ago
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Hugh Hefner Responds To Ex-Fiance Crystal Harris' Claims About Sex Life

Just a few hours after Hugh Hefner‘s ex-fiance, 25-year-old Crystal Harris, made... more

EllaMax
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10 months ago
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Crystal Harris Trashes Hugh Hefner on Howard Stern (VIDEO)

But just in case you were wondering, she's keeping the 3 carat engagement ring... more

ineedmyfix
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10 months ago
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Crystal Harris: Sex With Hugh Hefner Lasted "Two Seconds"

Crystal Harris, Hugh Hefner‘s 25-year-old runaway bride, opened up to Howard... more

EllaMax
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10 months ago
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1 comment

Hugh Hefner Not So Happy?

Maybe it's too soon to move on?... more

ineedmyfix
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11 months ago
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Hugh Hefner's Newest Girlfriend: Shera Bechard

Since Crystal Harris called off her June 18 wedding to Playboy founder Hugh Hefner,... more

EllaMax
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11 months ago
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Crystal Harris On Engagement: “It was all for publicity.”

She has NO shame. Wow.... more

NikkiLeigh
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11 months ago
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Anna Sophia Berglund Is Hugh Hefner’s New Girlfriend (PHOTOS)

Former Playmate, Crystal Harris aka the Runaway Bride, dumped her fiancé Hugh... more

c7girl
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12 months ago
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The Shannon Twins Move Back Into The Playboy Mansion

Buh-bye Crystal... hello to DOUBLE THE PLEASURE, DOUBLE THE FUN!!!... more

NikkiLeigh
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12 months ago
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PHOTO: Crystal Harris and Jordan McGraw Are Totally Bonding

Yeah, I am sure she never cheated....... more

NikkiLeigh
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12 months ago
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Effective Immediately! [Memo 9]: Fertilizing the Tree of Liberty

The following are effective immediately!

9.1 Fertilizing the Tree of Liberty
Effective immediately, no one is allowed to use Thomas Jefferson's quotation, "The tree of Liberty needs to be watered from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants," unless they first use all their own blood. Demanding others contribute blood as well would be socialist, and good patriots know that Jefferson wouldn't promote socialism. They don't know what socialism is, but god damn it, they're sure Jefferson would be against it as much as he was against sex with free white women.

There are already too many armchair warriors. You know the type. They're constantly using Jefferson's quote from the safety of their computer keyboard. They've got an extensive NRA bumper sticker collection proclaiming their willingness to die to subsidize the Firearms Manufacturing Industry. And when bin Laden was killed, they gasped "We got 'im!" at the TV before collapsing back into their recliner, crushing their last crate of Ho-Hos.

No more quoting Jefferson for them!

But what about people who actually do shed blood and try to sell that act as serving the cause of liberty? Heck, that's a perfect description of murderer Timothy McVeigh. Look, if you really want be an American martyr, or launch a jihad for Jesus made in the USA, or you just feel like dying because some lobbyist tricked you into doing so by converting select passages of the USA's historical documents into a sales pitch, you have to remember this is the land of personal responsibility, individuality and initiative. So you first. Water that tree with every last drop of your own blood and only your blood. The rest of us will add the fertilizer.

9.2 Extreme Makeover: Polygamist Cult Edition
Effective immediately, polygamist cults need to start dressing the women hotter. What is the point of being god's chosen ones if all your many wives look like identical extras from Little House on the Prairie? Come on, polygals! Sex it up! More Hefner, less heifer!

And polyguys, I know you're not fans of equality, but you've got a part to play, too: get some new clothes! For heavenly father's sake, overalls are as likely to impress the chicks as tweeting them a picture of your penis. We all can't be on the cutting edge of fashion, true, but at least try for something post-eighteenth century.

With these simple tips, you'll all be looking your best on national TV when the FBI inevitably raids your compound.

9.3 Pirate Sludge Not Worth Seein'
Effective immediately, there will be no more Pirates of the Caribbean movies. The need for this requirement should be self-explanatory to anyone who has seen the movie. Yes, I said movie, not movies, since the only thing that changes from one noisy mess to the next is the title. Of course you know I'm kidding. Everyone knows the title doesn't change! Only the subtitle does.

Sincerely,

Larry Nocella
Third Left Tenant, Sub DivisionThe following are effective immediately! 9.1 Fertilizing the Tree of Liberty... more

LarzNero
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12 months ago
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