tagged w/ Wheel
Birds do it, bees do it, even perverts in the trees do it. Let’s do it, let’s fuck online.
Chances are, if you’re on the internet (which as of this printing is still the only way that I know you could be reading this, though if you know of any others, please let us know), then you’re probably reading this with one hand in your pants, leisurely pleasuring yourself. That’s just a science fact. Because as you know, every new invention since the dawn of man has come about due to a need to advance the field of physical gratification.
Fire? Invented so cave perverts could violently flog their pre-historic, barbed procreation utensils to crude vagina wall paintings at night.
The wheel? Walking from one clubbed female’s dwelling to the next had worn out its novelty. The pre-men of yesterage also needed some way to easily signal potential mates of their remaining virility at the ripe old middle age of 14.
Sliced bread? The Manwich.
So it should come as a surprise to exactly no one that the internets too were created solely for the transmittal and reception of pornographic images, thoughts and ideas. As with bread, people have simply adapted sex technologies to be used in other walks of life. Now, a study done by a New Brunswick researcher is attempting to shed some light on the internet’s original purpose for existence: cybersex.
Krystelle Shaughnessy, (clearly a made up name, even by Canadian standards of ridiculous namery) a psychology student at the University of New Brunswick decided to research the role of cybersex in the current internet landscape while, not surprisingly, cybering her sex. Engaged in a long-distance relationship, and being a modern woman of the 21st century Krystelle did what anyone would in her position, try to justify her deviant nature with a college research paper.
Her hypothesis was that, “where her grandmother would have put pen to paper to maintain such an affair, and her mother would have picked up the phone, her natural medium was online.”
And she’s right. As I’ve explained, pen, paper and the telephone were all invented for sexual purposes. Just try not to imagine after this painstakingly detailed recounting, your beloved Nana’s penmanship gradually deteriorate as she furiously scribbled her dirtiest thoughts into a steamy letter of passion and naughtyness, then handing it to the postman with a blush, knowing just what it was that he was holding in his hands to be delivered to Peepaw so that he might feverishly pleasure himself to the naughty words of his beloved, before wondering what this harlot who could spew such filth might be doing with the rest of her time not filled with scribbling her most deviant thoughts. Basically, what I’m saying is that your grandparents were distrustful sickos who traded sex drenched letters while they were apart, and carry with them, even today, secrets that they will be buried with…
Now where was I?
Oh, that’s right, the office chair hand dance.
“A key piece in the research that I’m conducting right now is, who do you have cybersex with? One thing that is across the board — whether I’m talking to researchers, students, anybody — is this notion that cybersex is two strangers hiding from their offline partners engaging in sex online, and I don’t think that’s reality,” she said.
Here, the fine researcher and I differ in opinion. But I suppose our only difference is what percentage of which is what…
Let me clarify.
Cybersex, as it has existed since the invention of the internet, has been largely two men pretending to be lesbians having sexy chat times, sans pants. That has remained the one constant in the ever evolving intertubes. The definition of “stranger” then becomes a sticking point. Obviously there is some getting to know this person pretending to be someone else. So when do we go from fake lesbian intercourse with a stranger to fake lesbian intercourse with an acquaintance or even fake lesbian intercourse with a friend? Fewer instances of cybersex are initiated between people who have known each other before chatting online than vicey versey is what I’m saying. More people have come together with the intention to come together than because distance necessitates it.
“I think my key thing going into this was to try to normalize a behaviour I think is fairly normal,” she said.
And while noble, and understandable, there is no normal on the internet. In a place where the words “two girls” and “one cup” now mean something that we could never have previously imagined, the wild west of human sexual deviances doesn’t want to be normalized and doesn’t need to be justified. We are a creature who evolved thumbs solely so that we could encircle our tingly bits with them. It’s our teachings over the years that that impulse is bad that makes it necessary to write a paper proving what you’re instinctively drawn to do is okay.
So what I’m saying is: human beings, get over yourselves.
Birds do it, bees do it, all the sickos and the sleaze do it. Let’s do it, let’s turn on our webcams and take off our pants!
For all your rickety, windowless, primered comedy needs, visit:
vanfullofcandy.comBirds do it, bees do it, even perverts in the trees do it. Let’s do it,... more
World of Outlaws Summer Nationals event on July 22, 2011
at Williams Grove Speedway. Kasey is driving his World
of Outlaws #49 in his heat race and was battling his former
employee he fired years ago (#7 Craig Dollansky) when Craig
does a stupid slide job leaving no room knocking out Kasey,
Kasey is fine, but was very fired up and had some choice
words with Craig in the pits after the race.
kb kaseykahne.com/World of Outlaws Summer Nationals event on July 22, 2011 at Williams Grove Speedway.... more
Woman Rolls Into TSA Screening in Bra, Panties, and Wheelchair
Certain crimes in certain countries carry guaranteed death sentences. That doesn’t mean the sentence will come quickly or be anywhere near enjoyable. Some methods are so heinous – and so excruciatingly painful – that they have made the toughest men scream (and plead, and cry, and cower) like little girls. Here are some techniques… pulled from the history books… some of which might just give you nightmares. http://www.makeahistory.com/index.php/bizzareweird/13868-the-brazen-bull-a-other-most-painful-execution-techniquesCertain crimes in certain countries carry guaranteed death sentences. That... more
Introducing a new High-End compact Camera, the EX1.The brightest F1.8 lens will offer you a wider range of aperture steps and shallow depth-of-field. It is a great sub camera for DSLR users.
Ultra-wide 24mm F1.8 Lens
Ultra Sensitive 1/1.7” CCD
Rotating 3.0” AMOLED Display
Smart Range (High Dynamic Range)
Raw file support
Professional Front wheel key and dual dial
Full Manual Control (A/S/M)
Smart Auto 2.0
OVFIntroducing a new High-End compact Camera, the EX1.The brightest F1.8 lens will offer... more
A prehistoric town that had remained untouched beneath the ground near Syria for 6,000 years is now revealing clues about the first cities in the Middle East prior to the invention of the wheel.
The town, called Tell Zeidan, dates from between 6000 B.C. and 4000 B.C., and immediately preceded the world's first urban civilizations in the ancient Middle East. It is one of the largest sites of the Ubaid culture in northern Mesopotamia.
Now archaeologists from the University of Chicago's Oriental Institute and their Syrian colleagues are studying the town, which sits below a mound in an area of irrigated fields at the junction of the Euphrates and Balikh Rivers in what is now northern Syria.
So far, they have unearthed evidence of the society's trade in obsidian and production and development of copper processing, as well as the existence of a social elite that used stone seals to mark ownership of goods and culturally significant items.
The evidence here supports what archaeologists had long surmised, that the Ubaid people were among the first in the Middle East to experience division of social groups according to power and wealth.
"The project addresses questions not only of how such societies emerged but how they were sustained and flourished," said John Yellen, program director for archaeology at the National Science Foundation, which provided funding for the research.
The town's location was at the crossroads of major, ancient trade routes in Mesopotamia that followed the course of the Euphrates River valley. The Ubaid period lasted from about 5300 B.C. to 4000 B.C.
READ MORE AT LINKA prehistoric town that had remained untouched beneath the ground near Syria for 6,000... more
Laptop Mount for data entry, SWWS steering wheel workstation suport: a desk in your car, truck, or any automobileGO TO THIS LINK TO BUY NOW
SWWS is new to the marketplace.
Car Desk to mount your laptop
Laptop computers are necessities in business, especially for those whose work takes them by car between customer and division locations. Between visits, a user must often use the laptop to prepare for an upcoming visit or to process the results of a just concluded one. In addition, the user may need to communicate with his home location to check and respond to messages received in his absence. When seeking to use a laptop in a car, the user encounters serious difficulties. Most importantly, there is the need to present the laptop keyboard at a comfortable and ergonomically desirable angle and position and the need to present the display in such a manner as not to lead to vision or muscle strain. What is Ergonomics? Ergonomics comes from the Greek words “ergos” meaning work and “nomos” meaning natural law. Ergonomics is essentially fitting the task to the worker and the product to the user. The benefits of ergonomics include improved comfort and productivity as well as reduced injuries and illnesses. Ergonomics is important in offices, industrial areas, and most important, the use of a laptop in a parked automobile!
A healthier way to get the job done.GO TO THIS LINK TO BUY NOW http://swws2.tripod.com/ SWWS is new to the... more
The "Orbis" portable segway is the ultimate upgrade in urban mobility. With just one wheel, the electrically run Orbis uses gyroscopes (responsible for generating power from an internal hub motor and lithium ion battery) to independantly balance itself, while the rider reaches a maximum speed of 22km/h, throughout the city streets.
Weighing-in at 25Ibs, the Orbis segway can be collapsed for easy storage.
**More pics at link.The "Orbis" portable segway is the ultimate upgrade in urban mobility. With... more
These sport cars can be quite practical and reliable high-performance vehicles to suit high status communities and car enthusiasts.These sport cars can be quite practical and reliable high-performance vehicles to suit... more
The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few dozen spins and clicks of a wheel.The MacBook Wheel lets consumers accomplish everyday tasks like typing with just a few... more
A local mayor said Monday the public will want an explanation for the bizarre death of a man who was found under the wheels of a transit bus late Friday after being dragged more than five kilometres along Highway 99
A local mayor said Monday the public will want an explanation for the bizarre death of... more
The ferris wheel, that is. China has started to build what will be the world's biggest wheel, dwarfing its rivals, including the London Eye. The Great Wheel (yes, that is what it's called) is being designed to commemorate the 2008 Olympics in Beijing.The ferris wheel, that is. China has started to build what will be the world's... more