tagged w/ Political Satire
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
Convocation Center
DeKalb, Illinois
Thursday November 3rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
PCW’s tour of the American Heartland continues.
Bill Clinton’s Hot Tub with Bill Clinton!
Clinton lounges in the hot tub with a couple of babes to discuss the ongoing Herman Cain (R-GA) situation concerning allegations of sexual harassment. Clinton starts off with explaining that he’d love to talk about the Cain controversy but-
Suave: *koff, koff* Paula Jones *koff, koff*
Clinton glares at Suave and continues. He wants to talk about the sexual harassment allegations but-
Suave: *koff, koff* Gennifer Flowers *koff, koff*
Clinton begins to wag his finger.
Suave: *koff, koff* Kathryn Willey *koff, koff*
Clinton: “All right, already!”
Clinton bites his bottom lip and looks right at the camera. He says he’d love to discuss it- but he can’t. So he’s just going to relax in the hot tub.
MATCH #1
Axel Rodd (D) vs. Jamie Walker (R)
The Democrat‘s new wrestler faces off against Jon Huntsman‘s (R-UT) favorite wrestler.
…Rodd works the leg of Walker. Walker tries to fight out but Rodd flips him over into a Boston Crab-type move. He lets him go and then scoops Walker up. Fireman’s carry…SPIN! SPIN! Rodd drops Walker and makes the cover. 1…2…3.
WINNER: Axel Rodd (D) @ 5:48
Post match, Rodd gets on the mic and wants to know is that all the Republican’s got? Rodd begins to lite into the R’s when he’s attacked by the Huntsman girls- Mary Anne, Abby, and Liddy.
Jon Huntsman’s daughters get a measure of revenge on Rodd by depantsing him and causing him great embarrassment.
Suave: “That’s pretty sad when Jon Huntsman’s daughters are more effective than he is.”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Suave recaps what went down on PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night between Republican the Rev. Randy Richardson (formerly Triple R [D]) and the God Squad and PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D).
From Monday night’s show:
Courtney and Chloe whip open their tops and gives Richardson a Wardrobe Malfunction. Sneaking into the ring, former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D) makes his return and puts Richardson in the Bahama Backbreaker. Chism gets the pin at 11:51 to retain the men’s title
Rev. Richardson and the God Squad condemn the actions of the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe in hitting him with the ‘Wardrobe Malfunction’ and ripping off their tops. But Richardson saves his harshest words for former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D). Richardson calls him weak.
Rev. Richardson: “You were a weak champion and you’re still weak.”
He points to the back and out walks Rev. Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, and Sister Mary Marlboro dragging the SRB’s Kim to the ring. Kim, making lots of news with the announcement of her impending divorce after just 72 days of being married, is thrown to the mat in front of Richardson. Richardson holds up a Bible and shouts ‘Behold the good book!’ and whaps Kim in the head with it. He then puts Kim into his own version of the ‘Bahama Backbreaker’ and calls for Bahama to come out and give him a match.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Bahama is out and brawling with Richardson. PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and the other two Skanky Rich Bimbos: Courtney and Chloe attend to Kim.
A referee slides into the ring.
MATCH #2
The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (R) w/The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich and Pastor Buddy Flambe with Sister Mary Marlboro vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)
…Richardson tombstones Bahama for two. Rev. Hinnrich applies a full nelson on Kim and Sister Mary Marlboro slaps her until Courtney comes in with a cookie sheet and takes her out. Pastor Flambe retaliates by headbutting Courtney. Belly-to-belly suplex by Rev. Hinnrich on Courtney brings out the EMTs. The match stops so they can scrape Courtney off the mat…
…everyone brawls in the crowd. Rev. Hinnrich comes off the top rope and clears the barricade and three rows of chairs to take down Stone Chism. Back inside the ring, Rev. Richardson goes insane and mauls Bahama with a chair. He targets the knee. Kim jumps on Richardson’s back and stops him from getting the submission by choking him. Suddenly, Chism gets back into the ring and drills Richardson with a camera. Bahama DDTs Richardson and then slaps on the Bahama Backbreaker. Richardson taps out.
WINNER: O’Beck Bahama (D) @ 12:27
Post match, Chism turns to Bahama and extends his hand. Suave explains that Chism and Bahama have not seen eye to eye dating back to 2008 when Bahama was the PCW Champion and Chism wanted the title. It was Chism who knocked Bahama out of competition for over a year by concussing him on the ring bell in 2009. Suave wonders if ‘bygones will be bygones.’
Bahama takes Chism’s hand and kicks him in the groin. Then he DDT’s him and leaves the ring.
Suave: “I guess not.”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Suave notes that one year from now will be PCW’s signature show, the bi-annual PCW Extreme Election Night 2012. As a special feature, here’s the PCW Title Match between Champion Republican Starz N. Stripes (now ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott) and challenger O’Beck Bahama (D) from Extreme Election Night 2008.
REPLAY FROM PCW EXTREME ELECTION NIGHT 2008
MAIN EVENT: PCW TITLE MATCH
O’BECK BAHAMA w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
vs. STARZ N. STRIPES © w/John McCain (American Patriots)PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
Convocation Center
DeKalb, Illinois
Thursday... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Hulman Center
Terre Haute, IN
Monday October 31st, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave is in the ring to announce the first match when a strange song starts to play…
A lifesize Kermit the Frog, Fozzie Bear, and Miss Piggy come out. Suave is disgusted and opines out loud “What self-respecting wrestling show would stoop to this? The Muppets?”
Suave: “Oh.”
The frivolity doesn’t last long. Def Leppard‘s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ plays and PCW’s Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down and choke slams ‘Kermit the Frog’, ‘Fozzie’, and ‘Miss Piggy’ through three separate flaming tables.
Don’t worry kiddies, the costumes only sustained minor burn damage. Anyways…
PCW CEO Barack Obama continued to exercise power via executive orders by mandating a PCW Title match between Champion Daniel-San (I) and Big Labor (D). Obama then blamed the ‘gridlock’ on Obstructionist Republicans as a justification of his actions.
Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) come out and demand a rematch with the PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I). Obama, via executive fiat, agrees and calls for the match.
Valora doesn’t come out (she’s out of town and not in the building) but The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovaleski (I) do.
McGill and Kovaleski def. Women for Women in 5:15.
The God Squad: Rev. Oral Hinnrich, Pastor Buddy Flambe, The Right Reverend Randy Richardson, and Sister Mary Marlboro (R) attack PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism’s valet- The Skanky Rich Bimbos.
Suave wonders who spilled the beans on where the SRB were going to be. Then Kris Humphries, Kim’s husband, walks out. He drags Kim over to Rev. Richardson who delivers a Sermon on the Mount that leaves her unconscious in the ring.
Richardson blasts Kim for filing for divorce a scant 70 plus days into their marriage. He’s about to deliver a second Sermon on the Mount when Chism challenges Richardson one on one with the title on the line. Richardson accepts and the match begins.
Five minutes in, Courtney and Chloe whip open their tops and gives Richardson a Wardrobe Malfunction. Sneaking into the ring, former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D) makes his return and puts Richardson in the Bahama Backbreaker.
Chism gets the pin at 11:51 to retain the men’s title.
Post match, Chism gets on the mic and shouts at the God Squad, “How about your Tim Tebow now? What happened to him? Oh, I know, he got destroyed by some Lions last week.”
Main Event:
PCW Champion Daniel-San (I) walks out with Mrs. Miyagi. But PCW CEO Obama announces on the jumbotron that per his executive order, she is NOT allowed to be at ringside for the match. Then Big Labor (D) and his minions attack and nearly win the match.
American Heartlander Charlie Blackwell, wife Kenzie, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido run in to help Daniel-San and the PCW Champion retains at 9:07.
—————-
Thursday night:
PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN heads to Rockford, Illinois this Thursday night.PCW Extreme Political TV Recap
Hulman Center
Terre Haute, IN
Monday October 31st,... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Ohio University Convocation Center
Athens, OH
Friday October 28th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MATCH #3
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jay F. Kennedy (D) of the Massachusetts Bluebloods w/John Kerry (D-MA)
BACKSTAGE
Security tries to keep PCW CEO Barack Obama’s Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D-DE) and Human Events Editor Jason Mattera (Conservative) separated.
Green World Order: ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA (D) in the ring and they’re ranting and raving over the ‘Smoking Video.’ Suave wonders what the hell he’s talking about. Lee says play the video…
MATCH #4
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA) vs. ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee of the GWO (D) w/GreenPete, PeaceNick, and Peta from PETA and Soccer Mom and New Age Sensitive Guy
OUT AND ABOUT
The OWS still seek out those who were the once 99%, now down to 47%. But they keep get plugging on, asking a middle class family at a store if they were with them or with the 1%.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
PCW CEO Barack Obama (D-IL) comes out to defend his decision to go around the PCW Competition Committee to disband the ‘King of Extreme’ Title held by Ann Coulter (R) and create the PCW Men’s title.
Chism walks out wagging his finger. Just like CEO Obama says, he states, we don’t begrudge anyone wealth or success — we encourage it.
MATCH #5
PCW Men’s Champion ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe vs. Bobby Harper (I)PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Ohio University Convocation Center
Athens, OH... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1 Recap
Ohio University Convocation Center
Athens, OH
Friday October 28th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
The PCW ‘American Heartland Tour’ continues in Athens, OH. Suave welcomes everyone to the show.
MATCH #1
Magnum P.O.’d (R) w/Robyn Masters vs. Andy Riley (D) of the Bureaucrats w/Jordan Metzger (D)
Suave talks with the members of the OWS (Occupy Wall Street): Nate, Shane, and Adam and asks them about their recent tour of rich people.
MATCH #2
‘The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor/James the Jeep Worker (D) w/Richard Trumka vs. Charlie Blackwell/Mike the Mechanic (I) vs. Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)
-special appearance by Joe the Plumber (R)
During the match, Joe Biden (D) comes out with a mic and takes aim at GOP targets from former PCW CEO George W. Bush to Florida’s Rick Scott to “obstructionist” Republicans.
Jason Mattera of Human Events 'ambushes' Biden during his speech and all hell breaks loose.PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1 Recap
Ohio University Convocation Center... more
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After a spaceship crash lands in a boarded up housing project scheduled for demolition and its alien occupant perishes, an evicted public housing tenant takes the helm in order to search the universe for affordable housing. A space comedy.After a spaceship crash lands in a boarded up housing project scheduled for demolition... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Green’s Arena
Wakarusa, Kansas
Thursday October 20th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave reviews hour one of PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN:
-Maroon 5′s Adam Levine comes out and complains about PCW using their music. PCW’s Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot comes out and complains about Levine’s actual existence. Kick to the groin. Grab to the throat. Chokeslam. Middle finger salute.
-Brooklyn Decker serves as ring announcer for the Dan Patrick/Colin Cowherd match. After the Mothership (ESPN) tries to use Corporate Might (R) to squash Patrick and his Danettes, Tim Tebow and Boise State QB Kellen Moore come to the rescue along with Adam Sandler‘s posse.
-Lindsay Lohan, doing her community service, pushes a bucket of water and a map to the ladies’ room.
-Independent Charlie Blackwell stands up to both Republican and Democratic partisans
-Callie Urban (D) shows ‘American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith just what she’s going to do to her when they meet next- and uses Women for Women’s Code Pink and Emily List to get her point across.
BACKSTAGE
Lindsay Lohan exits the ladies’ room and bumps into PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I). Lohan tells her to ‘watch it, bitch’ and skulks off.
MATCH #3
Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D) vs. The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)
…Pink and List, already softened up by former PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban, are no match for The Pinups.
WINNER: The Pinups @ 3:03
COMMERCIAL BREAK
An angry Nancy Pelosi comes out and calls Callie Urban (D) to the ring. She demands an explanation for what she did to Women for Women. Urban comes out with a microphone and tells Pelosi she made it explicitly clear that she did not want their assistance at PCW Lock and Load in her title defense against Valora Salinas.
From PCW Lock and Load 6:
Whip by Urban into the corner…here’s Code Pink and Emily List. Urban sees them and doesn’t look too happy. She whips Valora across the ring a second time. Then walks over to the edge and tells them to get lost. Valora roars out the corner towards Urban. Irish Whip by Valora…no, reversal by Urban and she whips Valora hard face first into the corner. Code Pink and Emily List climb up onto the apron. Urban comes in for a splash. GLITTER BOMB BY CODE PINK! But who got it? Valora is sitting on the floor. Urban staggers back and she can’t see. Valora swoops in behind her…TEQUILA SUNRISE! Arm trap single leg Boston crab! Urban’s trapped…SHE TAPS!
Pelosi tells her that she has every right to do what she sees fit to defend the Democrats and their titles. Callie’s response…”Keep them out of my way and I will bring back the PCW Women’s title.”
BACKSTAGE
John Kasich (R-OH) stands with Paul Ryan (R-WI) and his Raiders and Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- The Wall Street Market Analyst with the huge mancrush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit. Kasich addresses Independent Charlie Blackwell directly and calls on him to ‘do the right thing’ and support SB5.
“Can You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Miserables begins to play and Blackwell, his wife- Kenzie, and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido make their way over. Again, Kasich implores Blackwell to support his plan. But before he can answer, Big Labor (D), James the Jeep Worker (D), The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty, and the Longshoremen attack Kasich and his supporters.
Blackwell and his charges lay back and watch as the Big Union group lay out Kasich and his group. Then Blackwell motions and out streams the Tea Party and they all attack the Big Union forces.
Blackwell gets on the mic and says ‘both sides are wrong.’ PCW is headed in the wrong direction and it’s high time someone came in to address the issues and bring people together. He announces the return of the…AMERICAN HEARTLAND PARTY! The crowd rises and roars as Blackwell and company clean out the ring.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Women’s champion Valora Salinas drags a bound and duct tape gagged Lindsay Lohan to the ring. She rips off the duct tape and unties. Then she demands that someone rings the bell and a referee runs out…
MATCH #4 PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) vs. (Li-Lo) Lindsay Lohan
…Valora slaps Lohan twice and slaps on the Tazzmission. Lohan taps out and that’s that.
WINNER: Valora Salinas @ :15
Valora grabs Li-Lo by the hair and whips her through the middle ropes. She climbs to the top turnbuckle and hits an Aztec Moonsault on Lohan for good measure.
Suave: “Main event, next.”
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MATCH #5
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA)
vs.
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX)
vs.
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA)
vs.
‘The Right Reverend’ Randy Richardson (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
Jackson finds himself under attack from the other three contestants in the ring.
…Jackson hits a jumping enziguri on Texas Jack out of nowhere. Springboard flying forearm follow up by Jackson. He tries for the Pizza Cutter. Texas Jack counters into a side-slam and nails a bulldog on Jackson. He covers Jackson and 1…2…3. Josh Jackson eliminated.
…down to Rev. Richardson and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott. Rev. Richardson grabs a tool box from under the ring and tosses a wrench at Scott. Then he grabs a screwdriver and tries to gouge Scott’s face with it. Rev. Richardson lunges forward with the screwdriver but misses and stabs the turnbuckle instead.
Scott whips Richardson into the turnbuckle and the Right Reverend catches the wider end of the tool right between the eyes.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
White Russian Legsweep by Scott and he covers…1…2…3.
WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) @ 11:31PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 2
Green’s Arena
Wakarusa, Kansas
Thursday... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
Green’s Arena
Wakarusa, Kansas
Thursday October 20th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!!!”
Suave comes out and starts singing Maroon 5‘s big hit, “She Will Be Loved” from the record Songs About Jane.
Then Adam Levine, the lead singer of Maroon 5, came out. “Dear PCW,” he said. “Don’t Play Our Music On Your Evil ****-ing Channel Ever Again”
*Def Leppard’s ‘Rock, Rock Til You Drop’ plays*
Suave: “IT’S EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT!”
Levine throws the mic and motions to WTF to ‘bring it on.’ WTF does. Kick to the groin. Lift. Chokeslam. Middle finger salute.
Suave announces that tonight’s main event is a four way dance between ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney (R-MA), Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX), ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA), and ‘The Right Reverend’ Randy Richardson (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)- taped Tuesday night at a PCW House show in Las Vegas. Then he sends it to the ring.
Brooklyn Decker, honorary ring announcer
Suave: “HELLO!”
MATCH #1
Dan Patrick NBC/Premiere Radio Network w/The Dannettes vs. Colin Cowherd ESPN aka…the Mothership w/Michelle Beadle
A match up of two of the giants in the sportstalk radio industry. Patrick, the old grizzled veteran, and Cowherd, the fiery newcomer in big corporate ESPN, face off more often than not on various sports stations all across the country.
…Patrick has Cowherd trapped in the corner and delivers lefts and rights…dare we say, Dan is en fuego?
Suave: “HEY! THAT’S MY LINE…I MEAN, THAT’S MY LINE TO STEAL!”
The Dannettes (Fritzy, McLovin, Seton,and Pauly) grab a table from under the ring and sets it up in the corner. Patrick back-drops Cowherd through the table and sets off another ‘PCW!…PCW!” chant.
Suave: “Apparently, The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) taught him how to do that.”
Patrick climbs the top turnbuckle…he tries for the swanton bomb off the top, but Cowherd moves at the last second and Patrick ‘whiffs!’
COMMERCIAL BREAK
…Cowherd tells Beadle, his co-host on ESPN SportsNation, to grab him a garbage can from under the ring. He takes the can and shouts, “THIS IS FOR ALL YOU BOOGER EATERS!” and blasts Patrick with it. Cowherd out of the ring now and grabs a second table and sets it up himself in the ring. Cowherd to the top…Swanton from the top rope on the way…but Cowherd overshoots him…badly… and the table doesn’t even slightly break. Huge boos and then a ‘YOU ****ED UP” chant from the crowd.
Both men down…and here comes…Corporate Might? Big Oil (R) and Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (R), come down to the ring and destroy the Danettes. More boos and now debris flying into the ring. Walstreit drags Patrick up and sets him for the Stock Market Plunge. And all of a sudden, Tim Tebow of the Denver Broncos and Boise State quarterback Kellen Moore run to the ring.
Tebow ducks a Walstreit right hand and low bridges the Wall Street Market Analyst. Then Tebow turns to Big Oil and did the same thing. Cowherd gets off the mat and stumbles right back into Moore. Moore takes off his Boise State helmet and conks it over Cowherd’s noggin. Adam Sandler and his posse then swarm the ring and run Corporate Might off.
Patrick rolls over and covers Cowherd…1…2..3.
WINNER: Dan Patrick @ 18:19
COMMERCIAL BREAK
BACKSTAGE
Lindsay Lohan, doing her community service, pushes a bucket of water and a map to the ladies’ room. LiLo doesn’t look happy at all and doesn’t acknowledge the lady entering the bathroom.
MATCH #2
Charlie Blackwell and Mike the Mechanic (I) w/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido. Kenzie Blackwell, and Blackwell’s Les Miserables vs. Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R) w/ Paul Ryan (R-WI)
Before the match, Suave announced that Blackwell’s former tag team partner Chris Escondido had retired due to his balky knee. Escondido will stay on as Blackwell’s manager.
As ‘Man in a Box’ by Alice in Chains plays, ‘The Innovator of Extreme Broadcast Excellence’ Rush Limbaugh comes out before the match. Limbaugh addresses Blackwell and his Les Miserables and tells them they’re on the wrong track. Independents are realizing that the Republicans are the true ‘party of reform’- see Herman Cain’s 9-9-9 plan. Blackwell interrupts Limbaugh.
Blackwell: “Cain’s plan would establish a flat 9% tax on every American. No loopholes. No exemptions. Now we’re hearing how middle class America will end up paying more in taxes than before. This is an easy fix –exempt the first $25,000 of income if you are a single taxpayer; $35,000 if you’re married.
Also, I believe that a straight flat tax would not be totally fair when applied to someone with an income of $500,000 and up. So I would also put in a 15% flat tax- no exemptions, no loopholes, for that income bracket…”
Limbaugh shouts ‘that’s outrageous!’
Blackwell addresses the 9% national sales tax. Here’s the simplest way to defuse it- exempt food products from being taxed. That takes away the argument that the poor will exponentially take a hit.
Ryan’s Raiders attack and the match is on.
…Blackwell set up in the corner with a ladder in his face. Collins set for the Van Terminator…Escondido sneaks in with a kendo stick and whacks Collins in the balls.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Collins falls off the turnbuckle. Here comes Corporate Might again. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R). They fight with Blackwell and Mike.
Here comes Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D). They go after Corporate Might. The match dissolves into chaos from there.
WINNER: No contest @ 6:52
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Former Women’s Champion Callie Urban confronts fellow Democrats Code Pink and Emily List. Urban blames both for costing her the Women’s title when she told them to stay out of the match.
Code Pink says that Callie thinks she can walk right back into the main event slot after blowing the Women’s title like nothing happened. Code Pink gives her a chance to leave for good, or suffer the consequences. Callie busts out laughing and teases leaving. Then she throws down the mic and takes both Pink and List down with a double clothesline. Security hits the ring to break things up. They do a poor job as usual, and referees are out. Well then shit just got real, but they fail as well and more brawling. Agents hit the ring, and Sarah Mae Smith joins them and looks to fight, which allows Urban to attack again.
Urban gets on the mic and tells Smith that the next time she gets her hands on ‘The American Girl’ this is what’s going to happen.
Urban systematically takes Pink and List apart and then points at Smith. Sarah Mae wisely retreats to the back at that point.PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN- Hour 1
Green’s Arena
Wakarusa, Kansas
Thursday... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV
Monday October 17th, 2011
Agora Theater
Cleveland, OH
Host: Johnny Suave
MATCH #3
Callie Urban (D) vs. ‘The American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith (R)
Smith pulls Urban’s shirt over her head as a distraction. But it doesn’t work thanks to a stomp to the foot and then a spinning heel kick that didn’t quite connect all the way but enough to break the hold. Urban up in the corner, ‘Queen of Her Doublewide Trailer’ Lani Harlot (R) rolls in and drops Urban with a stiff chairshot to the back. Lani is about to put Urban in some serious pain with her White Trash Compactor submission hold, but Code Pink and Emily List (D) also race down. Suave reminds everyone what happened the last time Code Pink and Emily List tried to help Callie…
Replay: Callie Urban vs. Valora Salinas at PCW Lock and Load.
GLITTER BOMB BY CODE PINK! But who got it? Valora is sitting on the floor. Urban staggers back and she can’t see. Valora swoops in behind her…TEQUILA SUNRISE! Arm trap single leg Boston crab! Urban’s trapped…SHE TAPS!
Suave: “Don’t think for a second that Callie Urban hasn’t forgotten that.”
Callie realizes that both Code Pink and Emily List are in the ring. She doesn’t go after Smith. Instead she chases Emily List out of the ring. Then she turns to Code Pink who tries to explain what happened. This distraction allows Smith to hit a Spear and she pins Urban for the 1…2..3!!!
WINNER: ‘The American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith @ 8:54
Post match, Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) come out and rough up Code Pink and Emily List. The M.O.D. toss them out of the ring and turns their sights on Urban. Harlot puts Urban in the White Trash Compactor. The M.O.D. take turns slapping Urban across the face. Then…
*’Meaning of Life’ by Disturbed plays*
The PCW Women’s champion Valora Salinas (I) hits the ring with an Asai Moonsault that breaks the hold on Urban and sends the three Republicans scattering. Valora hits the Implant DDT to Angel Casey and then Angel Scott gets a gutwrench powerbomb! Valora tosses Casey hard into the ringpost and then Scott. Lani Harlot tries to Pearl Harbor Valora with a chairshot but out of nowhere, the women’s champion superkicks the chair into Harlot’s face.
The PCW Clean Up Crew, led by Nurse Nellie, hits the ring to sort out the damage caused by Valora.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Scott Brown Interview
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein interviews Scott Brown (D-MA). Bernstein asks about the campaign, Brown says it’s going good so far. In fact, he wants to share his new campaign slogan with everyone- Bernstein agrees.
Scott Brown: “Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You- Ask What You Can Do For Your Country.”
Bernstein does a doubletake. Brown thinks he’s got something there. Bernstein tells him that line was from a John F. Kennedy speech.
Brown: “Huh?”
Bernstein repeats the line was from JFK’s inaugural speech in 1960. Brown blames his staff for the mix up and exits quick.
OWS’ s Final Destination
The OWS has reached their third and final destination. New York City. Again, Nate has run off from the others and charged past a guard inside a ritzy high rise apartment complex. Once upstairs, Nate pounds on the door until it opens…
Nate: “Alec? Alec Baldwin? You’re rich, too?”
An embarrassed Shane and Adam wheel Nate out of harms way before Baldwin’s prestigious temper erupts and he starts leaving nasty phone messages.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MAIN EVENT
The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA) and the God Squad
vs.
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA)
Suave marvels at the rebirth of one Newt Gingrich over the past few weeks and compares it to Cain’s meteoric rise.
…Jackson with a bottle of Gatorade and smacks Quad R with it. Jackson throws Quad R into the timekeeper’s table. Chairshot…no…Richardson escapes and he throws Jackson into the table. He’s got a chair- chairshot. Jackson staggers away but Quad R catches up to him and hit an atomic drop on the guardrail. xx
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Jackson takes a drink of someone’s beer and spits Quad R in the eyes with it. They go back into the ring and Jackson fires off a number of head butts. Both trade chops back in the ring. Quad R hits a drop toe hold to send Jackson face first onto a chair. Richardson calls for more chairs. But ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin steps in. Spinning toe hold to Rev. Flambe. PIZZA CUTTER! to Rev. Hinnrich. Now Sister Mary Marlboro in the ring to confront Martin…Martin grabs the oversized pizza box and plasters her with it.
Suave: “OVERSIZED PIZZA BOX OF DOOM! OVERSIZED PIZZA BOX OF DOOM!
Jackson small packages Richardson out of nowhere. 1…2…3.
WINNER: Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson (R) @ 16:30
Post match, Quad R knocks out the referee.PCW Extreme Political TV
Monday October 17th, 2011
Agora Theater
Cleveland, OH... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Stroh Center
Bowling Green, OH
Taped Thursday October 13th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Hour two of PCW Politics is War gets under way with Suave at the broadcast desk.
Suave: “After a wild first hour of PCW Politics is War where Nevada, South Carolina, and Florida attempted to barge ahead of Iowa and New Hampshire and hold their PCW events earlier, Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL)advocated that CEO Obama declare martial law in PCW because the Republicans won’t pass Obama’s bills, and Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson (R) won his biggest match to date, pushing himself and Herman Cain (R-GA) into the forefront of the Republican race for PCW CEO.” Suave starts to talk some more but is interrupted by the video screen…
Occupy Wall Street members Nate, Shane, and Adam going to protest at the homes of the rich and powerful. Except in this case, Shane and Adam are trying to direct Nate away from a sprawling mansion in Nashville, Tennessee. Shane is protesting the disparity of income between the haves and have nots when…
*Fleetwood Mac‘s ‘Don’t Stop’ begins to play*
Opening the door is no other than the ‘Hardcore Environmental Icon himself- Al Gore (D-TN). Gore demands to know what the O.W.S. is doing at his palatial mansion that uses the equivalent of electricity to power 22 regular sized houses. Shane and Adam apologize profusely and try to pull Nate away.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MATCH #2
Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit- the Wall Street Market Analyst with the Extreme Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (R) w/Texas Tex
vs.
‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
Once again, the California Teacher’s Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) interfere in the match and it’s a four on two beatdown.
…Big Labor lifts Walstreit up…SCABBUSTER! He rolls Walstreit out of the ring and goes after Big Oil. But Texas Tex whaps Big Labor in the knee and tags him in the kisser with his golden money belt. A double shoulderblock from Golatta and Malibu Dusty lifts Texas Tex off the ground and onto the mat. Golatta pulls Texas Tex up and winds up…FOUL POLE! FOUL POLE! Tex turns ghost white and crumples to the mat holding his groin.
James the Jeep Worker sends Big Oil into the corner and lays in some hard rights, taking the count to four and then pushing the referee away. Big Labor hits a the boot to Big Oil’s face as the ref is distracted by James. Big Oil fights off both and then kicks Big Labor in the gut. He sends Malibu Dusty to the corner and she stumbles back to a Superkick to the face! Big Oil with a bulldog and as an added treat clotheslines James at the same time!!! Big Oil goes for the Oklahoma Driller…Big Labor is rising and Punk sets James up. WHOA! JOE BIDEN (D)? In the ring? Biden kicks Big Oil in the gut and the double team doesn’t stop.
Biden, Golatta, Malibu, Big Labor, and James attack Big Oil like mad men. Then the crowd roars…
Suave: “JOSEPH WURZELBACHER? JOE THE FREAKIN’ PLUMBER. FOR REAL?
Here comes JTP. He attacks Big Labor with a plumber’s wrench to the knee. Malibu Dusty over to break it up…
Suave: “HOLY CRAP! DID YOU SEE THAT? DID YOU SEE JOE THE PLUMBER CRACK THAT WRENCH OVER MALIBU DUSTY’S HEAD?”
Malibu Dusty falls to the mat and blood seeps out from a cut on top of her head. Big Labor decides to get out while the getting’s good and runs into Kirk Walstreit. Walstreit blasts Big Labor over the head with his autographed, framed picture of ESPN star Kirk Herbstreit. Joe the Plumber sends James the Jeep Worker out to the outside. He holds up the plumber’s wrench and hops on him from the apron.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
JTP catches the fleeing JJW and sends him into the steps then into the barricade!
RESULT: No contest at 10:54
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The OWS is in Flint, Michigan and Nate tries to break into some rich guy’s mansion there. He attempts to scale the fence surrounding the property sets off the alarms. The OWS don’t abandon their third member and soon a portly gentlemen…wearing a baseball cap.
Michael Moore: “Ah, what are you guys up to?”
Shane: “Oh…man.”
Shane and Adam again apologize for Nate’s intrusion into the Moore Estate and try to leave…
Callie Urban (D) Promo
From what Callie understands, new PCW Women’s Champion Valora Salinas (I) has an open challenge to anyone in the locker room who has their gear on. She looks around and observes that no one wants to step into the ring with her. With good reason, she adds.
Replay: Callie Urban vs. Valora Salinas at PCW Lock and Load.
…German suplex by Urban gets two. Series of kicks by Urban. Valora reverses a whip and charges into a tornado DDT. Urban covers…Valora kicks out at the two-count. Whip by Urban into the corner…here’s Code Pink and Emily List. Urban sees them and doesn’t look too happy. She whips Valora across the ring a second time. Then walks over to the edge and tells them to get lost. Valora roars out the corner towards Urban. Irish Whip by Valora…no, reversal by Urban and she whips Valora hard face first into the corner. Code Pink and Emily List climb up onto the apron. Urban comes in for a splash. GLITTER BOMB BY CODE PINK! But who got it? Valora is sitting on the floor. Urban staggers back and she can’t see. Valora swoops in behind her…TEQUILA SUNRISE! Arm trap single leg Boston crab! Urban’s trapped…SHE TAPS!
WINNER AND NEW PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Valora Salinas (I) @ 14:45
So, what should she do? Should she walk away? Should she quit? The crowd says no. She considers the option before saying she’s never been a quitter. Callie says she will not be intimidated and she will not quit. Come hell or high water, she is going to work to give the fans what they want- a third match. The crowd roars and then John Boehner (R) comes out. Boehner reminds Callie that he is the leader of the PCW Competition Committee- not her. He says she is not the only one who’s deserving of a Women’s PCW title shot and ‘The American Girl’ Sarah Mae Smith walks out.
Boehner makes a match for right now and Callie confidently waves Smith into the ring.PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
Stroh Center
Bowling Green, OH
Taped Thursday October... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Stroh Center
Bowling Green, OH
Thursday October 13th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Crowd: “PCW!…PCW!…PCW!”
Suave welcomes everyone to PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN. Tonight, PCW is at the brand, spanking new Stroh Center on the campus of Bowling Green State University in Bowling Green, Ohio. He announces that PCW is embarking on a Midwest tour over the next several weeks leading up to the official start of the 2012 PCW CEO season.
Suave states that the first PCW show of the 2012 campaign season would be Drama in Des Moines (Iowa). Next, Manchester Mayhem (NH) in February- Suave is interrupted by Florida House Speaker Dean Cannon. ”I believe January 31st is the right day for Florida’s Tallahassee Tussle.”
New Hampshire’s Secretary of State Bill Gardner comes out and he’s not too happy. “Fine, then in keeping in the tradition of New Hampshire being one of the first to have a show in 2012, Manchester Mayhem is going to take place on January 24th.
Iowa’s State Republican Party Chairman Matt Strawn walks out- he ain’t too happy either. He gruffly announces Iowa’s moving Drama in Des Moines back to Mid-January.
Suave: “Okay. So it looks like the date’s been set and-”
“Wait a second…hold on!” Out walks Chad Connelly, South Carolina GOP Chairman and he’s steaming mad. “Last Friday, a nine-person committee brought chaos to the 2012 calendar. Tonight, South Carolina is making things right. South Carolina Republicans have a 30-year track record of picking the eventual Republican CEO nominee. We will continue that historic tradition on Jan. 21, 2012.”
Suave: “South Carolina moves Columbia Chaos up to January 21st!”
Bill Gardner of NH exhales loudly and gets back on the microphone. He announces that New Hampshire will now hold Manchester Mayhem on January the 14th.
Iowa’s Matt Strawn rolls his eyes and take the microphone from Gardner. “Well, I guess that means we’ll have to move Drama in Des Moines back to early January.”
Suave: “Okay. I think we’ve got it all straightened out now-” Nevada Governor Brian Sandoval then walks out to the great shock of everyone in the building.
Suave: “Oh, oh…”
Sandoval announces that Nevada will have Chaos in Carson City on January 14th. Connelly (SC) immediately objects on the grounds that South Carolina has already named their event Columbia City Chaos. “We named it first.”
Sandoval states that Nevada will keep Chaos in Carson City because it’s going before South Carolina. “Besides, a caucus is not the same as a primary,” Sandoval declares. Connelly tells Sandoval that he’s full of it.
Then Jon Huntsman (R-UT) comes out. He threatens to boycott the Nevada show unless it’s postponed to accommodate the New Hampshire show. Sandoval shrugs. “So?” The squabble continues. Newt Gingrich (R-GA), who’s slowly played his way back into contention, also sharply criticizes Nevada. Sandoval shrugs again. Gingrich waves to the back and a man dressed in all black runs to the ring.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP! IT’S THE RIGHT REVEREND RANDY RICHARDSON (R) and the God Squad.!”
Richardson whacks Sandoval in the back and pulls him away from Gingrich. The other Republican contenders show up with their wrestlers and we’ve got a major showdown as PCW heads to a long, overdue commercial…
COMMERCIAL BREAK
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MATCH #1
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX)
vs.
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/’Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin and Herman Cain (R-GA)
vs.
The Right Reverend Randy Richardson (R) w/Newt Gingrich (R-GA)
vs.
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/’The Massachusetts Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
vs.
Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
vs.
Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT)
vs.
Brad Company (R) w/Rick Santorium (R-PA)
….joined in progress. Average Joe, Walker, and Texas Jack already eliminated.
Rev. Richardson and Scott throw haymakers back and forth on the floor. Jackson and Company are in the ring. Company goes low on Jackson. That brings in the ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin. Company sees her and swings. Martin slides to the mat and propels her feet straight up into Company’s groin.
Suave: “HOLY CRAP!”
Company drops to his knees and covers his balls. Martin drags Company over to the ropes and drapes him over the second one. Jackson grabs two ropes and swings out and around 270 degrees to hit the head of Company with two feet.
Suave: “9-9-9! 9-9-9! Jackson just debuted his new finisher- the 9-9-9!”
Company’s done and gets pinned by Jackson. Brad Company eliminated.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
The referee turns to Scott and Rev. Richardson and they’re no where to be found. Then on the screen, Scott and Richardson turn up in the crowd. They start back towards the ring and get jumped by Jesse Jackson Jr. (D-IL)???
Suave: “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?”
Triple J blasts both Scott and Richardson in the back with a 2 x 4 and knocks them out. Then, ironically, Jackson Jr. has a microphone in hand and right out of the block calls the Republicans ‘in rebellion’ for their opposition to PCW CEO Barack Obama’s (D-IL) policies. “While Republicans, in co-hoots with the racist Tea Party, are determined to destroy PCW, CEO Obama still has an obligation to rule…wait, did I say rule? I mean, govern.”
Suave incredulously muses that Triple J wants PCW CEO Obama to “declare a national emergency” and use “extra-constitutional” measures to create jobs? As a representative of the PCW Competition Committee, you don’t give up when you hit a roadblock and throw all the rules out the window — you keep working to get something done.
Herman Cain races over and tackles Triple J. Richardson gets up first and pulls out the brass knuckles. He tries to knocks out Scott! Tessa Martin to the floor. PIZZA CUTTER TO RICHARDSON. Scott makes the cover on the floor 1….2…3!!!! The Right Reverend Randy Richardson is eliminated.
Scott back to the ring. He slaps on the American Stars and Fuji-Armbar on Jackson and he’s in trouble. Jackson reverses and covers. 1…2…no! Scott rolls Jackson back over and covers…1…2…Jackson kicks out and grabs a chair. Chairshot to Scott sends him over the middle rope. Jackson hits the 9-9-9! Cover…1…2…3.
WINNER: ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) @ 33:12
Suave calls it Josh Jackson’s biggest win in PCW and pronounces Herman Cain (R-GA) a legitimate threat for PCW CEO.
COMMERCIAL BREAKPCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Stroh Center
Bowling Green, OH
Thursday... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV
Laconia Ice Arena
Laconia, New Hampshire
Monday October 10th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
MATCH #1
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA) and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. Jack Schmidt (R) w/Joe Schmidt and Ron Paul (R-TX) vs. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/’The Massachusetts’s Redblood’ Mitt Romney (R-MA)
Last Thursday on PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN
…into the ring. Big Labor DDTs Walstreit. Dropkick by James. There’s a commotion…three men…no, three students do a nutcracker suite from the top rope on Walstreit.
BACKSTAGE
The OWS stand with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein. Before Bernstein can even get a question out, Shane complains that the local corporate pigs across the street wouldn’t let them use the bathroom.
MAIN EVENT:
Charlie Blackwell (I) and ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) w/Kenzie Blackwell and Blackwell’s Les Miserables vs. The OWS: Adam and Shane w/Nate (D)PCW Extreme Political TV
Laconia Ice Arena
Laconia, New Hampshire
Monday October... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Spengler Arena
Wauseon, Ohio
Thursday October 6th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
*10 bell tribute to Steve Jobs*
Suave: “It’s been a busy past couple of days in the world of political extreme. First, came Chris Christie‘s (R-NJ) final pronouncement on his PCW CEO aspirations…
Suave: Then, yesterday Sarah Palin (R-AK) stunned her followers by announcing that she would not run for PCW CEO…
Suave: “Yes…thank you Bob and Tom. So, with Christie and Palin out, where would the press go next?”
Rudy Guiliani‘s House
Guiliani stands on the porch wearing a robe and holding a newspaper. In the yard, a whole passo of press people waiting to see if Rudy decides to jump into the race.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MATCH #1
‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain (R-GA) and ‘Extreme Pizza Delivery Girl’ Tessa Martin vs. Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Mark Kelly escorts Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) into the ring. The crowd gives her a five minute standing ovation.
MATCH #2
Charlie Blackwell (I) w/Kenzie Blackwell and Blackwell’s Les Miserables vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe
BACKSTAGE
Sarah Palin is backstage with her family. The Rogue author Joe McGinniss barges in and confronts her.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
BACKSTAGE
Democrat Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein about the possibility of meeting Scott Brown (R-MA) next year.
MATCH #3
Kathryn Randall Collins (D) vs. Jackie Daniels (I) w/Jill Berg, CEO of JBI
BACKSTAGE
Margie J. Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church is with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MATCH #4
Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R) vs. Big Labor and James the Jeep Worker (D)
BACKSTAGE
Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit talk with Woodward Bernstein.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
Johnny Suave’s Universe’s Biggest Douchebag of the Week Awards:
Next, Suave walks through what happened at PCW Lock and Load 6 between then PCW Tag Team Champions Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) and Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)
MAIN EVENT:
Merchants of Death: ‘Lethal Weapon’ Angel Casey and ‘The Terminatrix’ Angel Scott (R) vs. Women for Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Spengler Arena
Wauseon, Ohio
Thursday October... more
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At a press conference in Trenton, New Jersey Washington, DC this afternoon, one night after speculation ran rampant about whether Republican Chris Christie would jump into the PCW CEO contest, Christie, with the tag team Jersey Boyz (R) standing behind him, Mark Levin announced today that “now is not my time” , she’s not running.
Palin, thru Levin, said this: “After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for President of the United States. As always, my family comes first and obviously Todd and I put great consideration into family life before making this decision. When we serve, we devote ourselves to God, family and country. My decision maintains this order. My decision is based upon a review of what common sense Conservatives and Independents have accomplished, especially over the last year. I believe that at this time I can be more effective in a decisive role to help elect other true public servants to office – from the nation’s governors to Congressional seats and the Presidency. We need to continue to actively and aggressively help those who will stop the “fundamental transformation” of our nation and instead seek the restoration of our greatness, our goodness and our constitutional republic based on the rule of law.”
Afterwards, Steve Krakauer of CNN asked Levin, “BUT does the fact that Sarah Palin isn’t running for president open the door for Chris Christie?”
Backstage, Erick Erickson of Red State told anyone who’d listen, “I told you she wasn’t running, I told you.”
In fact, the press was kind of down because with Palin and Christie out of the race, who else were they going to cover?
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein wonder the same thing. Then it came it him. “What about Rudy Giuliani?”
Silence.
“RUDY!”At a press conference in Trenton, New Jersey Washington, DC this afternoon, one night... more
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At a press conference in Trenton, New Jersey this afternoon, one night after speculation ran rampant on PCW Extreme Political TV about whether Republican Chris Christie would jump into the PCW CEO contest, Christie, with the tag team Jersey Boyz (R) standing behind him, made it clear that “now is not my time.”
Christie: “I have a commitment to New Jersey that I simply will not abandon.”
The Jersey Boyz seemed disappointed at Christie’s decision along with several Republican fans who’s overwhelming call for him to join the race caused him to at least give it one last look.
Christie’s exit leaves ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin as the final shoe to drop before January.
The press conference was marred when a fight broke out between restaurant competitors Twin Peaks CEO Randy DeWitt and Mike McNeil, Hooter’s Vice President for Marketing. In the middle of the scuffle, a third person jumped in. He grabbed the microphone and said he was Hugh Mungus-Mound and his new restaurant chain- Big Honkin’ Tetons, was going to kick both of their plastic boobs.At a press conference in Trenton, New Jersey this afternoon, one night after... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV
Red Bull Arena
Harrison, NJ
Monday October 3rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave: “Johnny Suave here. Last Sunday night at PCW Lock and Load 6, we crowned a brand new PCW champion.”
Replay: PCW Title Match: Daniel-San (I) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MATCH #1- PCW Title Match
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi and Nancy Grace vs. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos: Kim, Courtney, and Chloe
COMMERCIAL BREAK
BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein is stationed right outside Republican Chris Christie‘s dressing room just in case Christie decides to make his announcement tonight about his PCW CEO plans.
Down the hall, Paige McGillicutty waits outside ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin‘s dressing room in the event she makes her announcement tonight.
Suave says time is getting short for both Christie and Palin.
In the ring is Independent Charlie Blackwell and his wife Kenzie. Blackwell notes the protests going on at Kirk Walstreit’s house aka #occupywalstreit.
COMMERCIAL BREAK
MAIN EVENT:
Jersey Boyz: Vinnie and Frankie (R) w/Chris Christie (R-NJ) vs. Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy w/John F’n Kerry (D-MA)PCW Extreme Political TV
Red Bull Arena
Harrison, NJ
Monday October 3rd, 2011... more
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The results from last week’s PCW Lock and Load Paper View show:
‘The Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill (I) def. Casey Anthony(?)
Bristol Palin (R) def. Stephen Hanks (D)
Daniel-San (I) def. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
O’Beck Bahama (D) def. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
The Korver Sisters (D) won the PCW Women’s Tag Team Title from Merchants of Death (R)
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers (R) def. The California Teacher’s Union (D)
Ann Coulter (R) won the King/Queen of Extreme Title from Keith Olbermann (D)
Valora Salinas (I) won the PCW Women’s title from Callie Urban (D)
Daniel-San (I) def. O’Beck Bahama (D) to win the PCW Title.
Newly Updated PCW Rankings:
PCW WORLD CHAMPION: Daniel-San (I)
PCW WOMEN’S CHAMPION: Valora Salinas (I)
PCW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R-Libertarian)
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS:The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey Korver (D)
SINGLES CONTENDERS:
#1- ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
#2- O’Beck Bahama (D)
#3- Texas Jack (R)
#4- Charlie Blackwell (I)
#5- ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D)
TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- California Teachers Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta/Malibu Dusty (D)
#2- Corporate Might: Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
#3- Big Labor/Triple R (D)
#4- Charlie Blackwell/’No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I)
#5- Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray and Kevin Collins (R)
WOMEN’S CONTENDERS:
#1- Callie Urban (D)
#2- Kathryn Randall Collins (D)
#3- Sarah Mae Smith (R)
#4- Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#5- Jackie Daniels (I)
PCW WOMEN’S TAG TEAM CONTENDERS:
#1- Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R)
#2- The Mercenaries: Dawn McGill and Svetlana Kovalevski (I)
#3- The Triple Threat: ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
#4- Women For Women: Code Pink and Emily List (D)
#5- The Pinups: Sabrina James and Alicia Rowe (I)
PCW KING OF EXTREME CHAMPION:’The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter (R)
#1- Keith Olbermann (D)
#2- Glenn Beck (R)
#3- Ed Schultz (D)
#4- Andrew Breitbart (R)
#5- Janeane Garofalo (D)
———————————
Former PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) is expected to stay in PCW for a while longer. After two epic encounters with Valora Salinas (I), don’t be surprised if a third and decisive confrontation isn’t in the cards down the road.
PCW is still waiting on Chris Christie (R-NJ) and ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R-AK) to finally make their minds up whether or not they are jumping into the PCW CEO contest. With January 2012 coming fast, Christie and Palin are running out of time if they want to throw their hats into the ring.
Protestors continue to occupy Republican Kirk Walstreit’s front lawn #occupywallstreet. These are strange kind of populists, drinking latte from Starbucks and having their dinners delivered in via limousines.
Mid-December’s “Jesusland vs. Progressiveville” is PCW’s next Paper View show. Tune in tomorrow night for PCW Extreme Political TV to begin the road to J vs. P.The results from last week’s PCW Lock and Load Paper View show:
‘The... more
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This cartoon is from the Ottawa Citizen newspaper.
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DEMOCRATS LOCKER ROOM
Former 3-time PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) gathers his stuff from a locker and stuffs it in a duffel bag.
BACKSTAGE
Radio Talk Host Dennis Miller (R-CA) endorses Herman Cain (R-GA)to be the next PCW CEO.
MATCH #6
PCW Tag Team Title Match
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX) and Vince Vaughn vs The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) w/’The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) and the Longshoremen (D)
Suave says this should be an all-out war. The Schmidts, 3 time PCW Tag Team champions, took back the title from the CTU at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed. Now, the Schmidts find themselves up against not only the CTU but the unions fighting back to keep their political power.
Suave adds the big question in this match is the big rumor that Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Blackwell’s Les Miserables will intervene in this match on the Schmidt’s behalf. If so, not only will there be plenty of action in the ring, they’ll be a lot of action outside the ring as well.
BACKSTAGE
PCW Barack Obama talks with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein.
Chaz Bono Backstage
Chaz Bono visits PCW backstage.
MATCH #7
PCW King of Extreme Title Match
PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) vs. The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter (R)
Suave notes that Olbermann has held the title since July 18th when he won a battle royale on PCW Extreme Political TV. Now, he faces an extreme challenge from ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ herself Ann Coulter. Her recent Facebook remarks about Troy Davis the night he was executed show that Coulter is in rare form. For his part, Olbermann continues to do the things he usually does, rip Sarah Palin, rip Republicans, but on a much smaller scale than before- on Current TV. Can Olbermann’s usual schtick hold up against ‘The Queen of Political Extreme?’
http://politicalwrestling.wordpress.com/2011/09/26/independents-exert-their-power-pcw-lock-and-load-6-part-4/
BACKSTAGE
Stephen Hill, a soldier stationed in Iraq who recently asked via video about the recent repeal of the 1993 law that banned gay military personnel from serving openly in the military, is backstage.
MATCH #8
PCW Women’s Title Match
PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) vs. PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I)
Suave reminds everyone at the last Missouri Valley Wrestling pay per view show, May’s Arch Wrestling Madness, Urban and Salinas put on a five minute exhibition of pure adrenalinized combat. After getting cut in the initial seconds of the match, Valora threw everything she had at Urban in a frenzied attempt to end the match quick. Urban held on and as Valora weakened took control of the match.
Valora has won titles everywhere she’s gone from Wrestling Midwest to High Octane Wrestling, the WfWA to Missouri Valley Wrestling. Can she add the PCW Women’s title to that list? Urban also has an impressive resume of titles to her credit from no Brand Wrestling to All-star Championship Wrestling. This is shaping up to be a remake of the ages.
DEMOCRATIC WAR ROOM
Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) is with Code Pink and Emily List.
DEMOCRATS WAR ROOM
Pelosi is furious. She reiterates to former PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka that he’d better make sure O’Beck Bahama wins the PCW Title.
BACKSTAGE
PCW CEO Barack Obama is taking questions. One man raises his hand. Mr. Obama, raise my taxes, he says.
MAIN EVENT
PCW Title Match
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. O’Beck Bahama (D) w/Justin SufferableDEMOCRATS LOCKER ROOM
Former 3-time PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) gathers his... more
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PCW Lock and Load 6
Huntington Center
Toledo, OH
Sunday September 25th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave is NOT in the ring. But one-third of the Axis of Evil, Iran‘s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is. Ahmadinejad rails against the West for a laundry list of ills throughout history including slavery, two world wars, and the global economic crisis. Ahmadinejad also criticizes the killing of Osama bin Laden, and suggests that the al-Qaeda leader could have been the star witness at a trial that would reveal the true culprits behind the attacks on New York and Washington. The crowd boos the sharply worded speech, accompanied by finger-wagging and dramatic hand gestures.
Suave then announces that he got the work from the back that they were walking out. So, while Ahmadinejad continues to talk, the crowd silently files out. Suave says the PPV will start over again in just a few moments…
PCW Lock and Load 6
Seagate Center
Toledo, OH
Sunday September 25th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave in the ring. He thanks the Seagate Center and marvels at the coincidence that the convention hall had a wrestling ring and seating all set. Yes, what a coincidence indeed.
MATCH #1- Five Minute Cage Match
Casey Anthony (?) vs. ‘The Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt’ Dawn McGill
-Anthony, after a Florida judge on Friday doubled the amount Anthony had to reimburse authorities to more than $217,000 for the costs of investigating the disappearance of her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee, needs the money badly.
-McGill was more than willing to give Anthony a five minute match. How long could Anthony stay in there with her?
While they’re doing that, Bristol Palin, daughter of the Alaskan Pitbull, Sarah Palin, comes out and talks with Suave. Palin gets Johnny up to speed on her latest exploits and has a camera crew with her.
MATCH #2
Bristol Palin (R) vs. Stephen Hanks (D)
http://politicalwrestling.wordpress.com/2011/09/25/code-pink-glitter-bombs-dems-to-womens-tag-team-title-pcw-lock-and-load-6-part-2/
MATCH #3
First round match in PCW Lock and Load tournament
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
Suave asks how will the PCW Champion go out? Will he leave as champion? Or will someone take the title from him? He then notes that Daniel-San is still smarting over PCW CEO Barack Obama and the PCW Executive Board discontinuing the Television Title- of which he held at the time. Now, after surviving two four-way matches he gets his chance against Tanaka? Can Daniel-San overcome the odds and a determined Democratic machine gunning to keep the title in their hands?
MATCH #4
First round match in PCW Lock and Load tournament
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D) w/Justin Sufferable
Suave says in 2008, Scott (then Starz N. Stripes) and Bahama put on the greatest match in PCW history. Now, nearly 3 years later, can the two rekindle that magic and do it again?
Scott would like nothing more than to excise the ghost of what happened that night. Yes, he’s held the PCW Title belt since then but he benefited from a bit of chicanery on the part of the PCW Competition Committee with Jill Berg forfeited the title. Now, Scott can kill two birds with one stone. Bahama’s long road back from a severe concussion that cost him the title in 2009 and put him out of action for nearly 2 years would be complete if he could defeat Scott and then win the PCW title back.
MATCH #5
PCW Women’s Tag Team Title Match
PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) vs. The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey (D)
Suave says if you’ve never seen Merchants of Death (formerly Angels of Death) in action then tonight you’re in for a treat. He explains the MoD were the dominant tag team in Missouri Valley Wrestling and, tonight, they get old MVW foes, and former tag team champions themselves, The Korver Sisters. Kelly and Korey signed with the Democrats for one reason- they promised the team they would push them for the PCW Tag Team belts. Tonight is their opportunity. Can the Korvers, who have defeated the MoD before in MVW, use their technical skills to outmatch the most extreme female tag team political wrestling has ever seen?PCW Lock and Load 6
Huntington Center
Toledo, OH
Sunday September 25th, 2011
Host:... more
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Replay: Thursday night’s PCW Politics is War
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka and O’Beck Bahama (D) w/Justin Sufferable vs. Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R)
…Daniel-San unloads skillet shots to Tanaka’s nuts. Bahama moonsaults Scott through the table. Bahama manages to put Daniel-San through another table. Tanaka drags Daniel-San up to the top turnbuckle…JAPANESE SUPERDESTROYER! He covers but the ref is distracted by Mrs. Miyagi on the outside. Sufferable goes over and nails Mrs. Miyagi with a chairshot. Tanaka regains the referee’s attention…1…2…3.
And with that, PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka’s final Politics is War appearance is marked with a tag team win. Tonight, Tanaka makes his last appearance in PCW at Lock and Load 6.
Here is the card:
First round match in PCW Lock and Load tournament
Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D)
-How will the PCW Champion go out? Will he leave as champion? Or will someone take the title from him?
-Daniel-San is still smarting over PCW CEO Barack Obama and the PCW Executive Board discontinuing the Television Title- of which he held at the time. Now, after surviving two four-way matches he gets his chance against Tanaka? Can Daniel-San overcome the odds and a determined Democratic machine gunning to keep the title in their hands?
First round match in PCW Lock and Load tournament
‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D)
-In 2008, Scott (then Starz N. Stripes) and Bahama put on the greatest match in PCW history. Now, nearly 3 years later, can the two rekindle that magic and do it again?
-Scott would like nothing more than to excise the ghost of what happened that night. Yes, he’s held the PCW Title belt since then but he benefited from a bit of chicanery on the part of the PCW Competition Committee with Jill Berg forfeited the title. Now, Scott can kill two birds with one stone.
-Bahama’s long road back from a severe concussion that cost him the title in 2009 and put him out of action for nearly 2 years would be complete if he could defeat Scott and then win the PCW title back.
PCW Women’s Tag Team Title Match
PCW Women’s Tag Team Champions Merchants of Death: Angel Scott and Angel Casey (R) vs. The Korver Sisters: Kelly and Korey (D)
-If you’ve never seen Merchants of Death (formerly Angels of Death) in action, tonight you’re in for a treat. The MoD was the dominant tag team in Missouri Valley Wrestling and took on all comers. Tonight, they get old MVW foes, and former tag team champions themselves, The Korver Sisters. Kelly and Korey signed with the Democrats for one reason- they promised the team they would push them for the PCW Tag Team belts. Tonight is their opportunity. Can the Korvers, who have defeated the MoD before in MVW, use their technical skills to outmatch the most extreme female tag team political wrestling has ever seen?
PCW Tag Team Title Match
PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe (R) w/Ron Paul (R-TX) and Vince Vaughn vs The California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) w/’The Self Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) and the Longshoremen (D)
-In what should be an all-out war, The Schmidt Brothers put their PCW Tag Team belts on the line against former champions- The California Teacher’s Union. The Schmidts, 3 time PCW Tag Team champions, took back the title from the CTU at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed. Now, the Schmidts find themselves up against not only the CTU but the unions fighting back to keep their political power. The big question in this match is the big rumor that Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and Blackwell’s Les Miserables will intervene in this match on the Schmidt’s behalf. If so, not only will there be plenty of action in the ring, they’ll be a lot of action outside the ring as well.
PCW King of Extreme Title Match
PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D) vs. The Queen of Political Extreme Ann Coulter (R)
-Olbermann has held the title since PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed. Now, he faces an extreme challenge from ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ herself Ann Coulter. Her recent Facebook remarks about Troy Davis the night he was executed show that Coulter is in rare form.
-For his part, Olbermann continues to do the things he usually does, rip Sarah Palin, rip Republicans, but on a much smaller scale than before- on Current TV. Can Olbermann’s usual schtick hold up against ‘The Queen of Political Extreme?’ Stay tuned…
PCW Women’s Title Match
PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban (D) vs. PCW’s Queen of Extreme Valora Salinas (I)
-At the last Missouri Valley Wrestling pay per view show, May’s Arch Wrestling Madness, Urban and Salinas put on a five minute exhibition of pure adrenalinized combat. After getting cut in the initial seconds of the match, Valora threw everything she had at Urban in a frenzied attempt to end the match quick. Urban held on and as Valora weakened took control of the match.
-Valora has won titles everywhere she’s gone from Wrestling Midwest to High Octane Wrestling, the WfWA to Missouri Valley Wrestling. Can she add the PCW Women’s title to that list? Urban also has an impressive resume of titles to her credit from no Brand Wrestling to All-star Championship Wrestling. This is shaping up to be a remake of the ages.
PCW Title Match
TBA vs. TBA
-The winner of Daniel-San (I) w/Mrs. Miyagi vs. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) and ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) vs. O’Beck Bahama (D) will meet and the winner will be the PCW Champion.
One more match added to the card:
Casey Anthony will meet ‘The Six Foot Demolition Machine’ Dawn McGill in the opening match of the night in a five minute cage match. If Anthony can survive five minutes with McGill she wins.
-a Florida judge on Friday doubled the amount Anthony had to reimburse authorities to more than $217,000 for the costs of investigating the disappearance of her 2-year-old daughter, Caylee, which means Anthony needs the money badly.Replay: Thursday night’s PCW Politics is War
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka and... more
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