tagged w/ Political Satire
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Wells Fargo Arena
Des Moines, IA
Thursday August 11th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave starts off with reviewing the Wisconsin house show Tuesday night. The big storyline is the ongoing battle between Big Unions vs. Wisconsin’s Scott Walker (R-WI). Suave goes through the first five matches…
WISCONSIN RECALL RECAP
Robert Cowles (R) vs. Nancy Nusbaum (D)
Sheila Harsdorf (R) vs. Shelly Moore (D)
Luther Olson (R) vs. Fred Clark (D)
Randy Hopper (R) vs. Jessica King (D)
Dan Kapanke (R) vs. Jennifer Shilling (D)
Suave comes back and introduces the deciding match from Tuesday night’s show.
MATCH #1- From Madison, WI Tuesday night
Alberta Darling (R) vs. Sandra Pasch (D)
Texas Jack (R) walks to the ring with Rick Perry (R-TX). Suave announces that Perry will throw his hat into the ring for PCW CEO on Saturday in South Carolina.
MATCH #2
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. GreenPete of the Green World Order (D) w/’Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee (D), PeaceNick (D), and Peta from PETA (D)
BACKSTAGE
Triple R (D) complains to Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) that PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) should have been in Madison Tuesday night to help Big Labor and the CTU take down Scott Walker (R-WI).
PCW-Ames, Iowa Saturday Night Preview
A big night of political wrestling this Saturday night and the first big test for the prospective Republican candidates for PCW CEO. Here’s the line up for the Main Event Battle Royal.
’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain
’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney
Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul
Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
Brad Company- representing Newt Gingrich
Jamie Walker- representing Jon Huntsman
Next Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV.
Video Package: Last week’s match between Valora Salinas and Katie Collins of the Triple Threat. Collins gets help from ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen to get the win over Salinas.
MATCH #3- PCW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH
Callie Urban (c) vs. Katie Collins of the Triple Threat (R) w/’Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen
Replay: Al Gore’s (D-TN) attack on ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) after PCW Extreme Political TV ended.
Al Gore Promo
Gore calls what happened to Kevin Scott Monday night a warning to everyone, not just in PCW, but all over the country that they must take Global Warming seriously. Gore raises his Singapore Cane and says if that means ‘knocking’ some sense into the disbelievers then so be it.
O’Beck Bahama (D) Segment
Replay: O’Beck Bahama’s return to PCW and his quick defeat of Ken Kendall (I) Monday night.
Suave talks to Bahama after the match and asks him how he feels. Bahama says he feels fine and it’s nice to be back.
MATCH #4
Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. Kennedy (D) and Ray F. Kennedy (D) w/THE Massachusetts Blueblood John F. Kerry vs. The Bi-Partisan Dream Team: Blue Dog D (D) and RINO-The Wonk Machine (R)
MAIN EVENT
Charlie Blackwell (I) w/his Les Miserables and Kenzie Blackwell vs. ‘The Self-Proclaimed Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) w/Triple R (D) and the California Teacher’s Union (D)PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Wells Fargo Arena
Des Moines, IA
Thursday... more
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After PCW Extreme Political TV went off the air last night, it was time for the dark Main Event match between Republican Kevin Scott and ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta (D).
Golatta gets on the mic first and says that when he was Mr. Nice Guy, he was allowed to do whatever he wanted. Now that he’s being himself and teaming with Malibu Dusty, people are acting like jerks to him. He claims he and Dusty were screwed out of the PCW Tag Team belts and vows to regain the title. The crowd ignores the argument and starts a “F*** You Golatta” chant.
Scott tells Golatta that he turned to the dark side with the treehuggers, big union thugs, and the Global Warming nutcases. He advises Golatta to cut back on the vast Left Wing conspiracy and return to the land of reality.
*Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” begins to play.*
‘The Extreme Environmental Hardcore Icon’ Al Gore (D) appears and does NOT do his full entrance. Gore appears enraged and sprints to the ring. He catches Scott by surprise with a Singapore caneshot and then hits another. And another. And another. Scott’s down. Gore and Golatta start laying the boots to him.
Gore looks down at Scott and takes a microphone. He tells the audience that much of the anti-global warming rhetoric came from a small group of people “washing back at you the same crap over and over and over again” who had made it unacceptable “to use the goddamn word ‘climate.’”
“And some of the exact same people — I can go down a list of their names — are involved in this. And so what do they do? They pay pseudo scientists to pretend to be scientists to put out the message: ‘This climate thing, it’s nonsense. Man-made CO2 doesn’t trap heat. It may be volcanoes.’ Bullshit! ‘It may be sun spots.’ Bullshit! ‘It’s not getting warmer.’ Bullshit!”
Scott tries to get back up. Gore whacks him two more times with the Singapore cane.
“You heard them washing back at you the same crap over and over and over again. There’s ‘no longer a shared reality’ from which to begin scientific study and that those that shared his reality were being hindered by the debate. It’s no longer acceptable in mixed company, meaning bipartisan company, to use the goddamn word ‘climate!’”
Texas Jack (R), Farmer John (R), and Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson (R) along with security run down to Scott’s rescue.
It will be interesting to see what the ramifications of this will be this coming Thursday evening on PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN.After PCW Extreme Political TV went off the air last night, it was time for the dark... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV
Fairgrounds Ice Arena
Watertown, NY
Monday August 8th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave not in the ring but already at the broadcast booth. He introduces a video package on O’Beck Bahama…
Video Package of former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama (D)
-the night he won the PCW title at Extreme Election Night 2008 as Barack Obama’s standard bearer.
-the night he lost the PCW title in August, 2009 to ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism at the WWR Completely Deranged supershow. Bahama suffered a mild concussion in the four-way match when his head hit the ring bell.
-Sept. 16, 2009 match against Starz N. Stripes- Bahama looks very sluggish and loses.
Suave explains that two days later, Bahama was diagnosed with post concussion syndrome and like that he was gone for nearly two years.
Video package- O’Beck Bahama
-Bahama makes his PCW return at the July 4th, 2011 show and teases a possible return.
-August 4th, 2011- Bahama officially returns to PCW.
MATCH #1
O’Beck Bahama (D) vs. Ken Kendall (I)
-Bahama looks to be in the best shape of his life. He’s dropped about ten pounds over his wrestling weight in 2009. Kendall is a tomato can set up for Bahama to get the rust out.
…easy match for the former PCW Champion who overwhelms Kendall in less than four minutes to get the pin at 3:46.
Suave talks to Bahama after the match and asks him how he feels. Bahama says he feels fine and it’s nice to be back.
COMMERCIAL
PCW is brought to you this week by…
John F. Kerry (D-MA) storms out and says the previous commercial from Free Credit dot com is not funny. Kerry says the drop in PCW’s credit rating is not funny. Liberal groups all agree, this is the Tea Party’s fault.
Average Joe (Tea Party) comes out. Joe tells Kerry not to hide his true feelings behind his suit and let him know his true feelings about himself. Kerry wags his finger at Average Joe and calls him smug and overrated, and the Tea Party attention-seeking misfits who puts too much stock into their own hype. Average Joe turns it around on Kerry and suggests he look in a mirror.
The new tag team, The Massachusetts Bluebloods- Jay F. Kennedy and Ray F. Kennedy come out and talk about how Liberals Democrats are intellectually and culturally superior to to the Tea Party barbarians and should be receiving proper respect. ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay joins Average Joe and grabs the mic. McAvay lays out an open challenge to the Bluebloods to take them on right here, right now. Before we can get much further though, Triple R’s (D) and he comes out with a mic of his own.
Triple R says this is the darkest day in his life, to be stuck in this dumpy ring with the Tea Party. However, Joe Biden​ has apparently commended him on his incestual fortitude to appear here tonight. In fact , Move On.Org told him they wanted to see the Tea Party rest in peace after causing PCW’s bond rating to fall. David Axelrod rang him up to tell him he wanted the Tea Party on the next train headed towards oblivion. And, in fact, PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann gave Triple R his consent to unleash the biggest can of whoop ass ever seen on the Worst People in the World- The Tea Party, and he’s decided that’s exactly what he’s going to do.
MATCH #2
The Tea Party: Average Joe, ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay, and Matt Damn
vs.
The Massachusetts Bluebloods: Jay F. and Ray F. Kennedy (D) w/John F. Kerry (D-MA)
Nancy Pelosi (D) makes her way down to the ring as well. The Tea Party start the match off with a triple team inverted atomic drop on the Democrats. McAvay then forces a kiss onto Pelosi and gets a massive pop.
…Damn gets taken down with ease several times by Triple R. He gets locked in the cross-arm-breaker, but Damn makes the ropes. Damn finally gets some offense with a hard powerbomb, Triple R fires back with a Singapore cane shot or two to get a 2 count before the break.
COMMERCIAL
…After break, Kerry again steams about the Free Credit dot com commercial and everyone breaks out their big moves. Average Joe gets crotched on the top rope by JFK. JFK goes for the Camelot Pedigree, but McAvay breaks it up. Triple R slams Tin Cup off the apron and through the table at ringside! Triple R then hits a crazy springboard backflip pele kick on Average Joe and gets the pin at 16:42.
BACKSTAGE
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein talks with The Triple Threat: Katie Collins (R), ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R), and Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R)
Replay from last Thursday’s PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN show: The Triple Threat’s Dallas and Jones interfere in Collins’s match against Valora and help her get the win.
Bernstein asks about what went down. Collins replied that it wasn’t personal. Collins says she was the last Missouri Valley Wrestling Television Champion. Collins was a two time PCW Women’s Champion. She feels she deserves the first title shot against new PCW Women’s Champion Callie Urban and will do what needs to be done to get it.
Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R) comes out and tells Katie not to worry, she indeed will get her title shot against Urban Thursday night on PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN.
COMMERCIAL
‘The Original Massachusetts Blueblood’ John Kerry again angrily denounces whomever is playing the Free Credit dot com commercials.
Bernie Sanders (I-VT):
“I find it interesting to see S&P so vigilant today in downgrading the US credit rating. Where were they 4 years ago when they, and other credit rating agencies, helped cause this horrendous recession by providing AAA ratings to worthless sub-prime mortgage securities on behalf of Wall Street investment firms?”
‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin (R):
“Be wary of the efforts PCW CEO Obama makes to “fix” the debt problem. The more he tries to “fix” things, the worse they get because his “solutions” always involve spending more, taxing more, growing government, and increasing debt.
“This debt problem is the greatest challenge facing our country today.Obviously, President Obama doesn’t have a plan or even a notion of how to deal with it. His press conference today was just a rehash of his old talking points and finger-pointing. That’s why he can’t be re-elected in 2012.”PCW Extreme Political TV
Fairgrounds Ice Arena
Watertown, NY
Monday August 8th,... more
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As if things weren’t already volatile in the world of political extreme, John Kerry (D-MA) threw gasoline into a combustible mix last night at a PCW house show.
Talking with MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough, Kerry said this…
And I have to tell you, I say this to you politely. The media in America has a bigger responsibility than it’s exercising today. The media has got to begin to not give equal time or equal balance to an absolutely absurd notion just because somebody asserts it or simply because somebody says something which everybody knows is not factual.
It doesn’t deserve the same credit as a legitimate idea about what you do. And the problem is everything is put into this tit-for-tat equal battle and America is losing any sense of what’s real, of who’s accountable, of who is not accountable, of who’s real, who isn’t, who’s serious, who isn’t?
Average Joe (Tea Party) responded in kind…
Dictionary definition of “free speech”: Liberty to express opinions and ideas without hindrance, and especially without fear of punishment. John Kerry’s definition of “free speech.” Liberty to express opinions and ideas THAT AGREE WITH OUR POSITIONS. They will be ostracized from society, they will be labeled a threat to national security, they will be called “unpatriotic”, “un-American”, “a terrorist” and “a racist” and they will be vilified until they succumb to the ONLY ACCEPTABLE POLITICAL VIEW – that of John F. Kerry. By the way, does the F stand for fascist?
That set off another pier six free for all between the Democrats and the Tea Party. Again, Charlie Blackwell and his Les Miserables joined the outnumbered Tea Party to even up the odds.
This battle isn’t going away any time soon.
Daniel-San’s (I) big win at CWC’s Golden Dreams show last weekend headlined a very active and interesting week in the land of political extreme.
Dominating the week was the PCW Debt Crisis. Tempers flared Monday night on PCW Extreme Political TV…
Mike Doyle (D-PA) and several Democrats stomp out to the ring with Aide de Camp Joe Biden (D) and says the agreement sucks.
The Tea Party, of course, took exception to this. Average Joe…
Average Joe fires back and blames both mainline parties for this!
After a commercial break, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews, CBS’s Norah O’Donnell, the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Paul Krugman, Eric Boehlert, and Arianna Huffington) are brawling with the Tea Party when…
‘Do You Hear the People Sing?’ from the musical Les Miserables begins to play and Independents Charlie Blackwell and “No Frills” Chris Escondido race out with Blackwell’s Les Miserables and clean house. Matthews, Markos, O’Donnell, Krugman, Boehlert, and Huffington are ejected from the ring.
*YOU’RE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!*
Then PCW King of Extreme Titleholder Keith Olbermann of Current TV and his FOK buddies Shannyn Moore, David Shuster, and Rachel Maddow attack Blackwell and Escondido.
So after all that, you’d think that everyone would have got all their frustrations and anger out of their system by the time PCW Politics Is War on P-SPAN aired Thursday night…
MSNBC’s Martin Brashir and psychologist and addiction expert Stanton Peele are in the ring psychoanalyzing the Tea Party. Peele compares the Tea Party to Norway’s mass murderer Anders Breivik and says they will lash out like Breivik did if they fail to attain that high.
Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins to play and the Extreme Equalizer, Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, makes his way down to the ring. Bashir and Peele get grabbed by the neck. Then, kick to the stomach, twin chokeslams to the floor, and WTF flips both of them off.
Suave: “I love it when cultural bigots get theirs.”
Later in the show, Hollywood actor Matt Damon gets into the act…
The California Teachers Union: “Foul Pole” Andy Golatta (D), Malibu Dusty (D), and their pet governor on a leash Jerry Brown (D-CA), are in the ring with Damon. Damon declares incentives — like bonuses for good performance or ending tenure for bad ones — don’t work for teachers.
Average Joe and the Tea Party come out.
“First off, Matt. Here’s the difference between me and you. You support big teacher’s unions; I support teachers. And Mr. Damon, I encourage you, who as a rich celebrity is a corporation upon himself, to graciously offer to pay more of your income in taxes and set a good example for others like you to follow…”
Damon snaps and goes Jason Bourne on Average Joe. Golatta and Malibu Dusty attack NRA and McAvay. It looks bad for the Tea Party. Then CHUCK @#$#-ING NORRIS! comes out and decks Golatta with a roundhouse kick. Norris drops Malibu Dusty with a roundhouse kick. Norris turns to Damon, smiles, and blasts him with a thrust kick.
Later on, Mike Doyle (D-PA) tries to explain the remarks he made on PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night. Doyle says that he really didn’t call the Tea Party terrorists when he called them terrorists. Joe Biden, PCW CEO Barack Obama’s aide de camp, joins Doyle and assures everyone that Doyle is correct- they really weren’t calling the Tea Party terrorists when they called them terrorists.
Sarah Palin races down the aisle with a harpoon gun and Doyle and Biden take off running. Palin chases them around the ring several times before Doyle splits off and goes one way, Biden the other. Palin follows Biden and just as Biden reaches the back, she fires the harpoon gun at him…
“The Insanely Mad Hungarian” Alec Hrabosky (I) destroyed Jered Weaver of the LA Angels and Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers in a handicap match where Weaver and Verlander spent more time fighting each other instead of Hrabosky.
The speculation about Rick Perry (R-TX) jumping into the PCW CEO race continued to percolate and Texas Jack’s performance Thursday night did nothing to dispel that.
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT)
Jack acts as if he totally wants to kill Walker and thus makes him suffer as much as possible. Perry even gets in on the fun when he stops Huntsman from throwing in the towel when Texas Jack puts Walker in the crossface. Then Jack starts spiking him in the head, and forces Walker to quit @ 7:52
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robyn Masters defeated ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D)
Finally, two former PCW Champions and a Hall of Famer return…
The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama, Joe Biden peeks his head out and refuses to come out. Obama finally orders Biden out and the aide de camp reluctantly does. Palin’s harpoon sticks out of his ass.
Suave: “Well, there’s a visual I’ll never be able to get out of my mind.”
Obama gets on the mic and thanks everyone for the well wishes on his 50th birthday. He announces that he, in turn, has a surprise for all of us. A spotlight shines in the back and then the crowd explodes when former PCW Champion O’Beck Bahama makes his way to the ring.
Bahama thanks the crowd for the ovation and then wants to know what happened to the ‘change.’ Three years ago, Bahama says we were fighting for change and hope for more civility. He’s come back to PCW and things haven’t changed a whole lot. Then PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka, Harry Reid (D-NV) and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), Kevin Scott (R), Triple R (D), ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D), and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I) add their two cents.
Then Bahama responds…
Out walks PCW Hall of Famer and former PCW Champion ‘Not Just Unbearable, Not Just Intolerable, He is JUSTIN SUFFERABLE! Singapore cane in hand, Sufferable points it at Triple R, Stone Chism, and finally, Yamamoto Tanaka.
Sufferable is back as O’Beck Bahama’s manager. If Bahama is back in form then Tanaka, Scott, Triple R, and Daniel-San had better watch their back.As if things weren’t already volatile in the world of political extreme, John... more
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MSNBC’s Martin Brashir and psychologist and addiction expert Stanton Peele analyze the Tea Party
MATCH #1- Handicap Match
“The Insanely Mad Hungarian” Alec Hrabosky (I) vs. Jered Weaver of the LA Angels and Justin Verlander of the Detroit Tigers
The California Teachers Union: “Foul Pole” Andy Golatta (D), Malibu Dusty (D), and their pet governor on a leash Jerry Brown (D-CA), are in the ring with actor Matt Damon. Damon cuts a promo and declared incentives — like bonuses for good performance or ending tenure for bad ones — don’t work for teachers.
MATCH #2
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT)
The Democrats surround PCW CEO Barack Obama and sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him on his fiftieth birthday.
MATCH #3
Magnum PO’d (R) w/Robyn Masters vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Andy Riley (D)
Mike Doyle (D-PA) comes to the ring to explain his remarks on PCW Extreme Political TV Monday night. He says that he really didn’t call the Tea Party terrorists when he called them terrorists.
MATCH #4
Valora Salinas (I) vs. The Triple Threat’s Kalee Jones- The Eskimo Queen (R) w/Katie Collins (R) and ‘Texas Cowgirl’ Haley Dallas (R)
Obama gets on the mic and thanks everyone for the well wishes on his 50th birthday. He announces that he, in turn, has a surprise for all of us.MSNBC’s Martin Brashir and psychologist and addiction expert Stanton Peele... more
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PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Bender Arena
Washington, D.C.
Thursday July 28th
Host: Johnny Suave
Match #1
Blue Dog D (D) w/Joe Manchin (D-WV)
vs.
Nick Ray (R) w/Paul Ryan (R-WI) and Kevin Collins (R)
MATCH #2- Non-Title Match
Glenn Beck (R) vs. PCW King of Extreme Champion Keith Olbermann (D)
Sarah Palin talks to the freshman Republican members of the PCW Competition Committee…and she’s wearing her leather motorcycle jacket.
MATCH #3
The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley (D) vs. Corporate Might: Big Oil and “The Man with the Man Crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit” Kirk Walstreit (R) w/Texas Tex
Bill Maher Promo
MATCH #4
Casey Anthony vs. ???
MAIN EVENT:
Triple R, ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism, and ‘The Self Described Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell, ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido, and PCW Television Champion Daniel-San (I)PCW Politics is War on P-SPAN (2 hrs)
Bender Arena
Washington, D.C.
Thursday July... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV
ECW Arena
Philadelphia, PA
Monday, July 25, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave confirms the PCW Women’s title is going to return. In the crowd tonight, is the reigning PCW Women’s Champion, Callie Urban.
Suave expects both Democrats and Republicans to actively recruit Urban to their side.
Also on the docket tonight, PCW CEO Barack Obama (D) and Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner (R) will each give their thoughts about the PCW debt situation.
*flute and clarinet flourish*
Two men come out and unroll a white carpet to the ring steps. Dancers then dance. Ballet dancers…ballet? Little children walk up the white carpet and drop rose petals. Someone lets loose some pigeons…not sure just how they’ll get out of the building. The crowd stands as PCW CEO Barack Obama appears. Behind Obama walks Joe Biden.
Obama and Biden climb into the ring and join Suave.
Suave asks Obama where the talks stand. “We’re left with a stalemate.” Obama added that the country needs a renewed push for his “shared sacrifice” plan of increased taxes on the richer members of PCW. Suave asked about Boehner’s plan. Obama remains opposed to Boehner’s approach for “kicking the can down the road” in terms of setting the proper fiscal course. “We need to find common ground, quickly.”
MATCH #1
Texas Jack (R) w/Rick Perry (R-TX) vs. ‘Bureaucrat’ Jordan Metzger (D)
…Metzger avoids a lariat and hits a nice spinebuster on Texas Jack for two. Metzger goes for an inverted DDT but Texas Jack knees him in the head and rolls him up. Back up, Metzger runs into a big boot in the corner. Texas Jack applies a guillotine choke and Metzger submits.
WINNER: Texas Jack (R)
Post match, Suave shouts out to Rick Perry and asks him if he’s running for PCW CEO. Perry once again doesn’t answer the call.
BACKSTAGE
Both John Boehner (R) and Harry Reid (D) are sequestered inside a room, trying to work out a compromise on the PCW debt crisis.
Suave thinks we need a helluva prayer to get this done…
Suave: “Might work.”
Glenn Beck Segment
Beck is in the ring to explain his recent comments on the radio about the Norway shootings.
Beck on the radio:
“As the thing started to unfold and there was a shooting at a political camp, which sounds a little like the Hitler Youth,” he said. “Who does a camp for kids that’s all about politics? Disturbing.“
Beck said he predicted that a event such as the shooting could take place last Fall. Then…
Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.
You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it
Suave: “IT’S THE EXTREME EQUALIZER- WHISKEY…TANGO…FOXTROT!!!!”
A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine
Crowd: What the #$##! What the #$##!
Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day
Beck tries to escape. The Extreme Equalizer pulls him back in the ring. Then WTF delivers a powerbomb and flips him off.
Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
If only you could stay
All night long
New England Patriot owner Bob Kraft joins Suave at the broadcast table. Suave asks him about the PCW debt crisis. Kraft tells Boehner and Reid to get their act together. If the NFL Owners and NFLPA can overcome their differences for the greater good, why can’t the Republicans and Democrats?
Suave: “Good point.”
Tim Pawlenty Promo (R-MN)
Pawlenty terms Michele Bachmann’s CEO qualifications as ‘speech capabilities.’ Pawlenty touts his executive experience and scoring conservative victories while Bachmann just gave speeches and offered failed amendments to bills. “She gets migraine headaches for Pete’s sake,” Pawlenty says. He states that a CEO has to do the job every day, all the time, without fail.
Michele Bachmann Promo (R-MN)
Bachmann says that Pawlenty’s policy positions aren’t much different from Barack Obama’s. “Executive experience is not an asset if it simply means bigger and more intrusive government,” she responds. She accuses Pawlenty of leaving a multi-million dollar mess in Minnesota and supporting cap and trade policies.
MATCH #2
Farmer John (R) w/Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) vs. Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann (R-MN)
Suave: “This is going to be a war.” And it is.
…Bachmann in and hits Farmer John with a chair. Then she throws the chair at Farmer John and runs for it. Average Joe lifts him up and hits an Average Slam. He goes for the cover but Pawlenty in and pulls Average Joe off. Average Joe traps Pawlenty in the corner, Farmer John pulls himself up and goes to the top, but Bachmann runs over and hits him with a Singapore cane. Bachmann sets up a table in the corner. Average Joe throws Farmer John into the table. Piledriver by Average Joe on the chair, and Average Joe wins.
WINNER: Average Joe (Tea Party)
Pawlenty is livid after the match and stalks his way to the back.
Leader of the PCW Competition Committee, John Boehner, walks out to discuss the PCW debt crisis…
“Before I served in PCW, I ran a small business in Ohio. I was amazed at how different PCW operated than every business in America. Where most American businesses make the hard choices to pay their bills and live within their means, in PCW more spending and more debt is business as usual.
“And over the last six months, we’ve done our best to convince Mr. Obama to partner with us to do something dramatic to change the fiscal trajectory of PCW. . .something that will boost confidence and help us get back on track.
Last week, we passed such a plan, and with bipartisan support. It’s called the ‘Cut, Cap, and Balance’ Act. It CUTS and CAPS spending and paves the way for a Balanced Budget Amendment to the Constitution, which we believe is the best way to stop spending money we don’t have. Before we even passed the bill, the CEO said he would veto it.
“I want you to know I made a sincere effort to work with Mr. Obama to identify a path forward that would implement the principles of Cut, Cap, & Balance in a manner that could secure bipartisan support and be signed into law. I gave it my all.”
Suave: “And meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking and ticking…
MAIN EVENT:
Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart) w/Kenzie Blackwell and his Les Miserables vs. Triple R (D) w/Big Labor
Another pier six brawl that goes all over the ECW Arena, much to the delight of the crowd.
…both climb to Johnny Suave’s broadcast booth. Triple R canes Blackwell and Blackwell is dangling off the balcony with one hand. Triple R canes him again and Blackwell falls to the floor. He is busted open. Blackwell’s Les Miserables prevent Big Labor from taking cheap shots at Blackwell. Back to ringside and both roll into the ring. Blackwell and Triple R trade chops, punches, and more chops. Triple R sets up the ladder in the corner and sends Blackwell into the ladder. Triple R hits the splash on the ladder and covers Blackwell for the win.
WINNER: Triple R (D)
Suave reminds everyone to tune in to PCW’s Politics is War this Thursday night on P-SPAN, the political channel.PCW Extreme Political TV
ECW Arena
Philadelphia, PA
Monday, July 25, 2011
Host:... more
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PCW House Show
Richmond Coliseum
Richmond, Virginia
Wednesday July 20th, 2011
MATCH #1 Magnum PO’d (R) w/ Robyn Masters def. GreenPete w/ the Green World Order (D)
- after Magnum PO’d dominated the first half of the match, the Green World Order (‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, Peta from PETA, and PeaceNick) ganged up on Magnum, and spent most of the match weakening him down. Eventually, Robyn Mastersi came in and cleaned house, and Magnum hit his finisher on one for the win.
After the match, Peta from PETA, already agitated about GreenPete losing the previous match, gets on the microphone to denounce former WWE wrestler Shawn Michaels’s new Outdoor Channel Show “Shawn Michaels MacMillan River Adventures.”
Peta said in response to the show: “Jeffrey Dahmer ate everything he killed, too, but that didn’t justify taking innocent lives.”
Michaels stuns onlookers by coming out and then referee shows up in the ring?
MATCH #2 Shawn Michaels vs. Peta from PETA w/the Green World Order
um…Peta rushes forward…Sweet Chin Music by Michaels. Michaels covers. Match is over.
Fresh off winning the PCW King of Extreme title, Keith Olbermann walks out holding the belt up high along with his FOK buddies David Shuster, Shannyn Moore, and Andrea Mitchell. Olbermann gloats about the party that Al Gore (D) threw for himself and his friends afterwards. Olbermann says the party tonight is in celebration of “me” as the world champion.
Then “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from the Les Miserables soundtrack interrupts Olbermann and out comes Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland) followed by 25 of his Les Miserables. Blackwell reiterates that no one is bigger than PCW, including Keith Olbermann’s big fat ego. There’s a Charlie Blackwell chant. Blackwell talks about how the current PCW budget impasse shouldn’t be about ego and party. He denounces the rich fat cats in both parties more concerned about protecting their seat and placating special interest groups than making the hard decisions that need to be made.
Olbermann is, predictably, quite irate with Blackwell’s interruption and taunts him with ‘at least I have a nightly cable TV show. How about you?’ Blackwell retorts that he could put together a show with wrestling finger puppets and pull the same rating Olbermann pulls at Current TV.
Blackwell then gets jumped by Triple R (D) and ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) and then the Les Miserables get involved creating quite the scrum.
In the aftermath, guest ring announcer Jamie Chung announces that tonight’s main event will be Charlie Blackwell vs. Triple R.
MATCH #3 Joe Walsh (R-IL) vs. ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews (D)
- Walsh and Matthews have huge issues with each other after Walsh’s contentious appearance on Matthews’s show. Matthews goes for the Biovator but Walsh blocks it and connects with the Freshmen Flush to get the win.
Backstage, Olbermann threatens Blackwell for attacking him and Triple R says he’s leaving on a stretcher. Triple R says he has a lot of aces in the hole, such as the ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism and his valets, The Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim, Courtney, and Chloe).
MATCH #4 The California Teacher’s Union (D) (“Foul Pole” Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) w/pet Governor Jerry Brown (D-CA) vs. Rough Justice (R) (D.B. Ruff and Connor Justice- two former police officers fired because of their extreme brand of law enforcement)
-The CTU is trying to angle themselves back into the Tag Team title picture. Rough Justice is better known for being hired muscle or enforcers than for their wrestling. Rough Justice puts up a valiant fight but Andy Golatta’s ‘Foul Pole’ low blows turn the tide. Malibu Dusty gets the pin for the CTU with a simple roll up of Ruff.
In the lobby, there’s a pie throwing boot. People are lined up and down the lobby waiting for their shot. A woman, face covered in white Kool-Whip, leaves the the back of the booth.
Rupert Murdoch walks in. “Where do I stand?”
MATCH #5 Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann vs. James the Jeep Worker (D) w/ Big Labor and the CTU
- Average Joe tries to bring the Tea Party a win over Democrat James the Jeep Worker. The match was just there at first until Bachmann came down with a migraine headache. Big Labor and the California Teacher’s Union then interfere and help James the Jeep Worker get over.
Backstage, PCW CEO Barack Obama, with PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka beside him, is talking with the ‘Gang of Six.’ Then he walks to the podium.
Obama: We now are seeing the potential for a bipartisan consensus. The proposal by the Gang of Six is “broadly consistent” with what I have sought.”
Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”
Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.
Obama: This proposal from the bipartisan group is “good news” in the ongoing showdown over the debt limit, and may signal a path to compromise and “a very significant step forward.”
Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”
Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.
Obama: We’re in the 11th hour and we don’t have a lot of time left. My team will study the plan and I would urge congressional leaders to start negotiating based on its framework.
Eric Cantor, The Tea Party, and Grover Norquist: “NO NEW TAXES!”
Nancy Pelosi, AFL/CIO President Richard Trumka, and Bernie Sanders: “NO CUTS IN ENTITLEMENTS.
MATCH #6 PCW Tag Team Champions The Schmidt Brothers (Jack and Joe) (R) w/Ron Paul and Jim Schmidt vs. The Bureaucrats (Jordan Metzger and Andy Riley) (D)
- It was what it was. The Schmidts easily handled their opponents early on. Then Metzger and Riley rallied for a bit before Jack came in and cleaned house. Stereo Schmidt-Bricks ended it.
Post match, the Schmidt’s Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber chase The Bureaucrats to the back.
MAIN EVENT: Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart) w/Kenzie Blackwell and his Les Miserables vs. Triple R (D) w/Big Labor
- wild brawl that went all over the arena.
- Bill Maher and Ed Schultz came out and started taunting and saying derogatory things about Kenzie Blackwell. “The Queen of Political Extreme” Ann Coulter raced down and delivered a double clothesline to Maher and Schultz.
- then the Angry Left Wing Bloggers (Markos Moutilsas, Arianna Huffington, Eric Boehlert of Media Matters, and Katrina Vanden Heuvel of the Nation intervene.
- this brings down the Right Wing Brigadiers (Michelle Malkin, Laura Ingraham, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh) and the match breaks down from there.PCW House Show
Richmond Coliseum
Richmond, Virginia
Wednesday July 20th, 2011... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV Results
Midway Middle School Auditorium
Midway, GA
Monday July 18th, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave welcomed everyone to this week’s edition of PCW Extreme Political TV and was immediately joined by Midway’s police chief Kelly Morningstar.
Chief Morningstar welcomes PCW to Midway, Georgia and then wants to know why three kids are selling lemonade in the lobby. Suave reaches into his pocket and produces a one day permit and the crowd cheers. Then someone grabs a microphone.
Man: “Rafe Semmes, Midway, Georgia. ...This is simply ludicrous! Shame on whoever made the judgment call that the lemonade was a threat because they did not know what was in it. This is what happens when “PC” takes over common sense and reality goes out the window.”
http://beta.coastalcourier.com/section/4/article/33929/
Chief Morningstar again repeats that the girls didn’t have a business license or the required permits and police could not determine how the lemonade was made, who made the lemonade, of what the lemonade was made with. The crowd boos in response.
Man #2: “Scott Brown, Atlanta, GA. ...The law is the law and you cannot selectively enforce it. Period. To anyone else offended by the officer’s actions, get over it. We cannot turn those charged with enforcing the law into bad guys. They didn’t make the laws, so it’s unfair to blame them for something you feel may be wrong.”
http://beta.coastalcourier.com/section/4/article/33931/
Brown’s remarks also elicit boos. Suave says this is a issue of using ‘common sense.’
Suave: “I don’t know what’s more ridiculous. The war on lemonade stands all over the country or this whole Carmageddon thing that was supposed to bring LA to its knees over the weekend.”
Match #1 Triple R (D) w/ Code Pink and Emily List defeats ‘Tin Cup’ Ray McAvay (Tea Party)
- Triple R still lusts of being the PCW champion. McAvay tries to win one for the Tea Party. Unfortunately, McAvay goes Phil Mickelson in the final round of the British Open. After Triple R dominates early. McAvay makes an incredible comeback and looks to be on the verge of winning but his overaggressiveness pisses it away at the end.
Rick Perry Visits EA Sports
On a jumbo screen inside the offices of a division of EA Sports, a scene from one of the company’s popular college football video game was playing out, featuring Perry as quarterback for his alma-mater, Texas A&M.
In the scene, Perry throws a touchdown before a stadium full of cheering fans.
As Perry left the room, a reporter shouted, “hey Rick, are you in the game?”
It was a reference to EA’s catch-phrase “if it’s in the game, it’s in the game.”
Perry did not respond and hustled off the stage.
Suave: The big question is ‘will Perry answer the call?’ Let’s find out.
Suave pulls out his cell phone and dials…and waits…and waits…and waits…
Match #2 (Taped at an Idaho bar) Marlon Baker defeats Daren Abbey
- it all began when 28-year-old white supremacist Daren Abbey began threatening Marlon Baker and threatened to stab him because “blacks are not welcome.” Baker, wearing a t-shirt that said “Spokane Boxing Club champion,” knocked Abbey unconscious with one punch.
Ron Paul Promo
Ron Paul announces that this is his final trip around the political merry-go-round. Either he will become the next PCW CEO or he will retire from political wrestling.
This brings out the PCW Tag Team Champions- Jack and Joe Schmidt along with Jim Schmidt. Jim walks out with the Extreme German Schnauzer Hans Gruber.
Jack is disappointed that Ron Paul is going to retire next year if he doesn’t win the PCW CEO race. But what he’s NOT disappointed about is the new Harry Potter movie. Jack raves about Alan Rickman’s ‘brilliant’ performance as Professor Snape in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- Part 2.
Joe admits that he cried during the part where Snape reveals to Harry that he loved his mother. He begins to break down again but Jack picks it up from there and reminds everyone that Rickman also played Hans Gruber in the first Die Hard movie- the name of their Extreme German Schnauzer.
Jack says that no matter what, the PCW Tag Team Title belts are home and will stay with the Schmidts even after Paul retires.
Suave Tries to Call Rick Perry Again…
Suave pulls out his cell phone and dials…and waits…and waits…and waits…
Match #3 for the King of Extreme Title
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Markos Moutilsas
Arianna Huffington
‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews
Glenn Beck
Laura Ingraham
Bill O’Reilly
Alan Grayson
Rachel Maddow
Keith Olbermann
LEFT:
Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter
Markos Moutilsas, Arianna Huffington, ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews
RIGHT:
Glenn Beck, Laura Ingraham, Bill O’Reilly
Alan Grayson, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann
Glenn Beck eliminates Alan Grayson via pinfall
Rachel Maddow eliminates Glenn Beck via pinfall
Laura Ingraham eliminates Rachel Maddow
Sean Hannity eliminates ‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews via pinfall
Markos Moutilsas eliminates Rush Limbaugh via pinfall
Hannity eliminates Moutilsas via pinfall
Keith Olbermann eliminates Laura Ingraham via pinfall
Arianna Huffington eliminates Hannity via pinfall
Ann Coulter eliminates Huffington. Ann Coulter wins the Left Chamber.
Keith Olbermann eliminates Bill O’Reilly. Keith Olbermann wins the Right Chamber
…the FOK News All-Stars come out and join Al Gore in the beat down of Coulter. Olbermann urges them on while wearing the crimson mask. Shuster and Gore hold Coulter up. Olbermann can't see very well. He charges Coulter. SPEAR!]
Sauve: “SPEAR RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE! HOLY CRAP!”
[Olbermann and Coulter land in the ring after going through the other levels of the cage. They're both out. But Olbermann lands on top of Coulter. The referee makes the count...1...2...3.]
WINNER AND NEW KING OF EXTREME: Keith OlbermannPCW Extreme Political TV Results
Midway Middle School Auditorium
Midway, GA
Monday... more
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That’s right, Political Championship Wrestling will be in Midway, GA this Monday night for another politically extreme edition of PCW Extreme Political TV.
Midway, GA, of course, is known for their no nonsense, law and order attitude. Just look at this…
3 girls sitting just off the road selling lemonade. Suddenly, screeching tires can be heard down the road.
A SWAT van and several police cars pull up to the lemonade stand.
A stream of SWAT personnel exit the back of the van and surround the stand.
Midway Police Chief Kelly Morningstar gets out of his police car with a bullhorn. “ATTENTION GIRLS OPERATING UNAUTHORIZED LEMONADE STAND.”
“We’re right here,” says one of the girls.
“YOU DO NOT HAVE A PROPER BUSINESS LICENSE OR THE REQUIRED PEDDLERS OR FOOD PERMITS TO RUN YOUR BUSINESS.”
“I mean, we’re right in front of you,” says another girl.
“WE DON’T KNOW HOW YOUR LEMONADE WAS MADE. WE DON’T KNOW WHO MADE THE LEMONADE OR WHAT’S IN IT.”
“Really, we’re right in front of you.”
“WE ARE CLOSING YOU DOWN, I REPEAT, CLOSING YOU DOWN.”
The SWAT team remove the girls, wraps yellow ‘police line do not cross’ tape around the stand…
…and drinks the rest of the lemonade.
Ga. Police Shut Down Lemonade Stand- CBS News
—–
Monday night, PCW crowns the new King of Extreme Title. The contestants:
Rush Limbaugh
Sean Hannity
Ann Coulter
Markos Moutilsas
Arianna Huffington
‘Hardball’ Chris Matthews
Glenn Beck
Laura Ingraham
Bill O’Reilly
Alan Grayson
Rachel Maddow
Keith Olbermann
Catch all the exciting action this Monday night on PCW.That’s right, Political Championship Wrestling will be in Midway, GA this Monday... more
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On this week's edition of PCW Extreme Political TV:
Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) cuts a promo on fellow Minnesota Republican Michele Bachmann.
Match #1: Texas Jack (R) vs. Teddy Lewis (I)
-This is Texas Jack’s debut match in PCW. It’s not a coincidence that his arrival mirrors the possibility that Texas’s Rick Perry may jump into the PCW CEO race.
The usual suspects converge for PCW deficit talks w/PCW CEO Barack Obama & his aide de camp Joe Biden: Republicans: Leader of the PCW Competition Committee John Boehner/Eric Cantor/PCW Executive Committee Minority Leader Mitch McConnell/ Jon Kyl; Dem: PCW Competition Committee Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi/Steny Hoyer/PCW Executive Committee Majority Leader Harry Reid/Dick Durbin.
Rupert Murdoch comes to the ring and tries to explain himself.
Paul Ryan (R-WI) comes out to defend his economic plan to save PCW and then introduces his ‘Raiders’
Match #2: Paul Ryan’s Raiders: Nick Ray (R) and Kevin Collins (R) vs. The Bureaucrats: Jordan Metzger (D) and Andrew Riley (D)
Promo spot for Sarah Palin (R).
PCW CEO Barack Obama Statement
Mila Kunis-Marine Segment: a lucky SOB who had the balls to ask a Hollywood starlet to go to a Marine Ball.
John Boehner Statement
PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein Interview With Rutgers Economist Susan Feinberg
Main Event: Farmer Ted (R) w/Tim Pawlenty vs. Average Joe (Tea Party) w/Michele Bachmann
Alan Grayson (D) cuts a PromoOn this week's edition of PCW Extreme Political TV:
Tim Pawlenty (R-MN) cuts a... more
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PCW Fourth of July Spectacular
Washington Mall
Washington D.C.
Monday July 4th, 2011
Hosted by Johnny Suave
Coming out first was Suave with his life-size cardboard cut-out of Shania Twain.
He commented about the great weather outside and brought out PCW’s ring announcer Kimber Marshall to introduce the first match of the night.
1. Scabby the Rat (D) vs. Rich the Fat Union Thug (R)
In this battle of political mascots, Scabby was out first and received a standing ovation from the union supporters in the crowd. Fun match with lots of comedy spots. There was a 30 second spot of the match with Scabby, Rich, and the referee running around the ring chasing Nancy Pelosi (D) and John Boehner (R) in a spectacle that resembled a Three Stooges episode.
The finish came when, once again, Independent Charlie Blackwell and his Les Miserables hit the ring and attacked both mascots causing a double countout.
2. Jamie Walker (R) w/Jon Huntsman (R-UT) def. Bobby Eaglesmith (D)
Huntsman has decided on Walker to be his wrestler going into the 2012 contest and he easily dispatches Eaglesmith in a quick match.
In a move that shocked literally no one, The California Teacher’s Union (‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) along with the NEA endorsed Barack Obama for a second four year term as PCW CEO.
3. The CTU (D) beat The Bi-Partisan Dream Team (Blue Dog D (D) and RINO- The Wonk Machine (R)).
Match of the night. Golatta and Malibu Dusty worked the crowd into a frenzy when they brought out their pet Governor Jerry Brown on a leash. The match ended after Golatta connected with a ‘Foul Pole’ shot on RINO to gain the win.
Suave hopped in the ring and said there was a special guest, the return of a former PCW Champion.
Then O’Beck Bahama (D) came out to a huge ovation, with I’d say nearly half the crowd bowing to him. Bahama climbed into the ring, and first thing out of his mouth was, “Long time, no see, right?” to which the crowd cheered him even harder. He then said he was bad to the bone, and he was in the best shape of his life.
Suave asked him if he was coming back to PCW. Bahama only would say ‘wait and see.’
4. ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) w/the Skanky Rich Bimbos (Kim, Chloe, and Courtney) beats Kirk Walstreit (R)
Chism, still steaming over losing the PCW TV Title at the Loose Cannons Unleashed 7 PPV, did a legit five minutes on the decision to substitute Daniel-San (I) into the match, calling the PCW Competition Committee Leader John Boehner (R) ugly and called out a Republican for a street fight. Walstreit answered the call and the match turned into a brawl with lot of plunder.
The finish comes when Walstreit calls for a table, sets it up, and gets a Wardrobe Malfunction from the Skanky Rich Bimbos. Chism Hollywood Blockbusters Walstreit through the table.
Post match, John Boehner (R) comes out and announces that Chism will get his rematch for the PCW Television Title on July 30th at the CWC’s Golden Dreams show.
5. ‘The So-Called Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and Triple R (D) def.Average Joe and NRA (R)
Good match, end came a bit out of nowhere, with Average Joe getting shoved off the top ropes into the guardrail by Triple R. Big Labor then simply rolled him into the ring and hit the Scab-buster. Big Labor with the pin for the win.
6. ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott (R) w/Mitt Romney def. Andy Riley (D)
Riley stalled incessantly and even tore up a fans poster. Anyway, good twenty minute back and forth battle that sees Scott winning with the Fuji Stars and Armbar submission.
7. PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka, ‘Extreme Vegan’ Brock Cole Lee, and GreenPete (D) vs. PCW Tag Team Champions Jack and Joe Schmidt w/Ron Paul and ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) w/Herman Cain- time limit draw
Solid match here, with both teams nearly winning before the thirty minute time limit expired. Run-ins and multiple near falls galore during the final two minutes of the match as James the Jeep Worker, Stone Chism, and Triple R (Democrats); The Religious Right (Rev. Flambe and Rev. Hinnrich) and Brad Company for the (Republicans) tried to turn the match.PCW Fourth of July Spectacular
Washington Mall
Washington D.C.
Monday July 4th,... more
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-Mixed Tag Team Three-Way Dance: Bill O’Reilly and ? from Fox News vs. MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann and ? vs. CNN’s Lou Dobb’s and ?
*
-Minnesota Street Brawl: Al Franken (Progressive Alliance) vs. Norm Coleman (American Patriots)
*
-Carolina Cat Fight: Elizabeth Dole (American Patriots) vs. Kay Hagan (Progressive Alliance)
*
-New Hampshire Intergender Match: Jeanne Shaheen (Progressive Alliance) vs. John Sununu (American Patriots)
*
-PCW Television Title Match: FUBAR © (Independent) vs. ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (Progressive Alliance)
*
-PCW Tag Team Title Match: Jack and Bull Schett © w/Horst Schett and Hans Gruber- the Extreme German Schnauzer (Progressive Alliance) vs. Big Oil w/Texas Tex and Kirk Walstreit- the man with the man crush on ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit (McMann Corp)
*
-PCW Women’s Title Match: ‘The Empress Queen of All Media’ Opal Winfree © w/Opal’s Flock- New Age Sensitive Guy and Soccer Mom (Progressive Alliance) vs. Kathryn Randall Collins aka KRC (McMann Corp)
*
Main Event:
-PCW Title Match: ‘The Original Rookie Sensation’ Starz N. Stripes © w/John McCain (American Patriots) vs. ‘The New Rookie Sensation’ O’Beck Bahama w/Barack Obama (Progressive Alliance)
Click above for the full show...-Mixed Tag Team Three-Way Dance: Bill O’Reilly and ? from Fox News vs.... more
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This incident took place backstage:
Van Jones (D), former ‘Green Job Czar’ to PCW CEO Barack Obama was cutting a promo on Conservative Commentator Glenn Beck (R): “Glenn Beck has spent a lot of time repeating lies about me. I can handle attacks on me, but last week Beck attacked the American Dream itself. Now that’s an attack on millions of hardworking Americans who just wanna give their kids a better life. So today I’m issuing a challenge to Glenn Beck to debate anytime, anywhere, about our nation’s future. I want the American Dream to be real again for all Americans. So Glenn: you ready to talk this out?”
Beck flies out and tackles Jones and they brawl.
Johnny Suave: “Apparently not.”
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More fallout from the PPV:
Current TV’s Keith Olbermann named PCW referee Jon Taylor ‘The Worst Person in the World’ for his controversial decision to allow Daniel-San (I) to wrestle for the PCW Television Title Monday night.
Daniel-San went on to defeat ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) to win the title. Olbermann defended Chism as ‘not being mentally prepared’ to face Daniel-San and his unique style and said it was unfair to change Chism’s opponent at the last moment.
‘The Voice of PCW’ Johnny Suave had this to say: “Olbermann conveniently ignores the fact that it was Democrats Big Labor and Triple R who took out Chism’s Republican opponent ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson just before the match took place.”
Democrats Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi are pushing hard for a rematch between Daniel-San and Chism. Will the PCW Competition Committee, led by John Boehner (R), mandate such a match? Stay tuned.This incident took place backstage:
Van Jones (D), former ‘Green Job... more
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PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) held off a stiff challenge from Independent Charlie Blackwell tonight to hold on the PCW Title at tonight’s Loose Cannons Unleashed 7 pay per view show.
Blackwell’s ‘Les Miserables’ couldn’t overcome Democrat Tanaka’s back up from Big Labor (D) and an angry California Teacher’s Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty), who were looking for payback after losing the PCW Tag Team title earlier in the night. Blackwell had Tanaka set for the Katahajime but Big Labor snuck in and tripped the challenger and the champion smashed him against the turnbuckle. Then Tanaka pulled Blackwell to the top and hit his Japanese Superdestroyer to put his exclamation point on the match.
As mentioned, The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe accompanied by brother Jim Schmidt and Ron Paul (R) became three time PCW Tag Team Champions after defeating the California Teachers Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty w/pet Governor Jerry Brown) (D).
Jack and Joe Schmidt hit a double ‘Schmidt brick’ on Golatta late in the match and Paul tripped up Malibu Dusty before she could make the save. Earlier in the match, Big Labor and Triple R (D) ran out to assist the former champions but were run off by Charlie Blackwell and his ‘Les Miserables.’
Daniel-San (I) defeated ‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (D) to become the new PCW Television Champion. Chism was originally supposed to face Herman Cain’s protegee ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson (R) but the then PCW Tag Team Champions California Teacher’s Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty) along with Triple R and Big Labor (D) attacked Jackson backstage. Chism was getting ready to declare himself the winner when Daniel-San attacked him from behind and put him in the Cattle Mutilation. Daniel-San’s tag team partner ‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (I) and Jackson cleared out the CTU and Triple R and Big Labor and Chism had no choice but to tap out.
#2 w/’The Vest’ Jim Tressel (I) vs. ‘The Insanely Mad Hungarian’ Alex Hrabosky (I)
-#2 used help from ‘The Vest’ Jim Tressel, Dennis Talbott, a Columbus businessman and a freelance sports photographer, several Columbus area auto dealers, and Edward Rife, a Columbus tattoo parlor owner to dominate early on. But Hrabosky’s scrappy style began to pay dividends later on the match and then Auburn’s Heisman Trophy winner, and fellow #2, Cam Newton ran down and clocked #2 from behind.
Hrabosky then hit his finisher and pulled off the surprise win @ 9:41.
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (AmHeartland) and Daniel-San (I) vs. Dann Armey and Brad Company (R)
-This match never got under way as the PCW Tag Team Champions California Teacher’s Union (Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty w/pet Governor Jerry Brown) (D) along with Big Labor and Triple R (D) attacked both teams before the bell. Golatta went after his former tag team partner Daniel-San and hit a pair of ‘Foul Poles’ on him and Big Labor laid out Escondido, Armey, and Company with the Scab-buster.
‘The So-Called Savior of the Middle Class’ Big Labor and Triple R (D) vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
-in a wild one, late in the match Big Oil rolls out of the ring, and gets nailed by Big Labor who drags him all around ringside. AFL-CIO leader Richard Trumka, who came down earlier in the match, verbally berates Big Oil. Big Oil gets away from Big Labor and drags Trumka over the announce table and chokes him with a microphone cable as the crowd goes wild. That gives Triple R a chance to nail Big Oil from behind with a steel chair three times. Walstreit grabs his briefcase and heads over, but Big Labor takes the briefcase from him and whaps him in the face with it. Big Labor rolls Big Oil back in the ring. Big Labor catches him with a kick to the gut and follows up with the Scab-buster for the three count @ 15:23PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D) held off a stiff challenge from Independent Charlie... more
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The seventh edition of PCW's first and longest running pay per view show is set for this weekend. Loose Cannons Unleashed 7 hits the airwaves next Monday night live from PCW's spiritual home, Hack's Rusty Nail Saloon in Wauseon, Ohio.
Here's the card:
#2 w/'The Vest' Jim Tressel (I) vs. ‘The Insanely Mad Hungarian’ Alex Hrabosky (I)
- #2 has made a splash since joining PCW two weeks ago. Hrabosky is looking for revenge after losing to #2 thanks to various outside interference.
‘No Frills’ Chris Escondido (AmHeartland) and Daniel-San (I) vs. Dann Armey and Brad Company (R)
-with Charlie Blackwell moving into singles, Escondido has been looking for a replacement tag team partner. He may have the perfect one in Independent superstar Daniel-San. Dann Armey and Brad Company are tagging together for the first time.
Big Labor and Triple R (D) vs. Big Oil and Kirk Walstreit (R)
-classic matchup between big labor and big business.
The Right Wing Blogging Brigadiers: Rush Limbaugh, ‘The Queen of Political Extreme’ Ann Coulter, Bill O’Reilly, and Michelle Malkin vs. The Angry Left Wing Bloggers: Rachel Maddow, Arianna Huffington, Markos Moulitsas, and Professor Paul Krugman
-another pundit/blogger grudge match that PCW specializes in.
PCW Television Title Match
‘The One Man Hollywood A-List’ Stone Chism (c) (D) vs. Pizza Delivery Guy Josh Jackson (R) with Herman Cain (R)
-Jackson is rising fast within the PCW ranks with the guidance of Cain. Chism has held a stranglehold on the PCW TV Title for several months now. Can Jackson dethrone him?
PCW Tag Team Title Match
California Teacher’s Union: ‘Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (c) (D) vs. The Schmidt Brothers: Jack and Joe Schmidt (R)
-will the recent controversy over the revelation that Malibu Dusty is in fact a woman be a distraction to the CTU? Can the Schmidts become 3-time PCW Tag Team Champions?
PCW Title Match
Yamamoto Tanaka (c) (D) vs. Charlie Blackwell (American Heartland)
-Tanaka lost to Blackwell at a WWR show a year and a half ago. Since then, Tanaka has become a three time PCW Champion. And Blackwell is slowly finding himself leading his group of Les Miserables. Can Blackwell become the youngest PCW Champion ever at age 22? Will the Democrats go to war to protect the PCW title?The seventh edition of PCW's first and longest running pay per view show is set... more
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Last night at a PCW house show in Burlington, Vermont, Wisconsin’s Fred Clark had an unfortunate encounter while attempting to apologize for this…
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“Clark rang Sue Stapelman, a nurse, in a routine canvassing call. At first her answering machine kicked in, and it continued to record when Mrs Stapelman then picked up the phone. Mr Clark introduced himself, and announced he was running against Republican incumbent Luther Olsen.
Mrs Stapleman replied: ‘Yeah, and isn’t that a crime.’ She then hung up – but the tape kept running.
After a pause, Mr Clark turns to a member of his campaign team and said: ‘OK. I feel like calling her back and smackin’ her around.’”
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Clark attempted to apologize but soon enough…
Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins and the Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot runs down. Clark gets blasted by the Extreme Equalizer. Then WTF delivers a powerbomb and flips him off.
As for Newt and his recent photo posted on TMZ- why Newt, why?Last night at a PCW house show in Burlington, Vermont, Wisconsin’s Fred Clark... more
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PCW Extreme Political TV
Verizon Wireless Arena
Manchester, NH
Monday June 23rd, 2011
Host: Johnny Suave
Suave welcomes everyone to PCW. He announces that newcomer #2, managed by former Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel, will make his television debut tonight.
MATCH #1 REPUBLICAN RUMBLE
-’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain
-’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney
-Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul
-Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
-Dann Armey- representing Rick Santorum
-Average Joe- representing Michele Bachmann
-???- representing Newt Gingrich
Gingrich (R-GA) then gets on the mic and tries to beg off due to the mass defection of his upper echelon advisers. He says he wasn’t able to find a wrestler because of the upheaval in his campaign.
Unfortunately for Gingrich, the other six don’t buy his explanation and drag him into the ring. Armey and Scott double suplex Gingrich over the top rope to the floor below. Rick Perry (R-TX) and several of Gingrich’s former campaign workers run out and stomp away at Newt. Perry and company drag Gingrich to the back.
Gary Johnson (R-NM), barred from the match by CNN, tried to make a run-in with Magnum P.O’d but security stopped them from reaching the ring.
Halfway through the match, Michele Bachmann (R-MN) tells Johnny Suave that she’s officially in the PCW CEO race.
End of match:
Farmer John misses a Hydrogen Bomb in the corner and lands awkwardly. Scott finally returns to the ring and hits a series of dropkicks on the big guy for a two count. Farmer John goes for a chokeslam on Scott but gets nailed with a top rope hurricanrana from ‘Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson when he turns around. Frog splash from Scott. Jackson and Scott begin duking it out in the corner. Scott nearly leaps right into the Pizza Cutter from Jackson. But Scott counters with a drop down jawbreaker. Farmer John then throws Jackson over the top rope. Scott then schoolboys Farmer John from behind and hooks the leg…1…2…3.
WINNER: ‘American Citizen’ Kevin Scott w/Mitt Romney (R) @ 8:52
MATCH #2
#2 w/Jim Tressel (I) vs. Bobby Ralston (I)
Tressel spent most of the match hawking his books about ‘doing the right thing’ while #2 systematically took Ralston apart. He didn’t see the ‘Insanely Mad Hungarian’ Alex Hrabosky sneak in and clock #2 from behind. Ralston made the cover and stole the win.
WINNER: Bobby Ralston (I) @ 6:11
Post match, Tressel accused Hrabosky of cheating. Hrabosky challenged #2 to a match next week at PCW Loose Cannons Unleashed. #2 accepted.
MATCH #3
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D), Big Labor (D), and Triple R (D) versus
Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart), Ken Worth- The American Trucker (AmHeart), and Daniel-San (I)
Tanaka and Blackwell hook up just once in the prelude to their PCW Title match next week. The California Teacher’s Union: Andy ‘The Foul Pole’ Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) hit the ring and attack Blackwell et al.
This brought down Ken Worth- The American Trucker and SNAFU (AmHeart) and the match dissolved from there.
The final shot of the show saw Tanaka (D) and Blackwell (AmHeart) stare each other down again.
WINNER: No contest @ 13:45
Other notable happenings:
-In an interview with PCW Investigative Reporter Woodward Bernstein, PCW CEO Barack Obama made his first public comments on the Anthony Weiner (D-NY) matter. Obama told Bernstein “I can tell you that if it was me, I would resign. When you get to the point where…you can’t serve as effectively as you need to…then you should probably step back.”
Bernstein also announced that the PCW Competition Committee formally approved Weiner’s 2 week leave of absence earlier today.
-Lebron James holds a press conference in the back called ‘The Excuses.’ He tries to explain how the Miami Heat lost the NBA championship to the Dallas Mavericks. Finally, he lets loose… “They have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life that they had before they woke up today. They have the same personal problems they had today. I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want to do with me and my family and be happy with that. They can get a few days or a few months or whatever the case may be on being happy about not only myself, but the Miami Heat not accomplishing their goal, but they have to get back to the real world at some point.”
Dirk Nowitzki walks out and James leaves.
Cleveland Cavalier’s owner Dan Gilbert walks in as well. “Mavs NEVER stopped & now entire franchise gets rings. Old Lesson for all: There are NO SHORTCUTS. NONE. By the way, I heard a great joke today. I heard tomorrow’s National LeBron James Day. I hope everyone takes advantage of their chance to leave work 12 minutes early.”
Ohio’s John Kasich (R) piled on as well. He resolution proclaiming the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks “honorary Ohioans” since “the proud city of Cleveland and the entire state of Ohio share the excitement of Dallas Mavericks fans everywhere. Dirk Nowitzki chose to re-sign with the Dallas Mavericks in the summer of 2010, forgoing free agency and keeping his talents in Dallas, thus remaining loyal to the team, city and fans for whom he played his entire career.”
-Talk show host Thom Hartmann cuts a promo and says that PCW CEO Barack Obama should ‘starve’ his detractors in the Red States until they agree to raise the debt limit.
Def Leppard’s ‘Tear It Down’ begins.
You got the look of a howlin’ wolf
I like it
The kind of eyes that could start a fire
Yes, I like it
A streetwise dynamo
I switch you on and I watch you go
A thrill to touch, you’re so hot
I’m coming for you ready or not
I’m gettin’ ready
Livin’ on the edge of a dream
Gettin’ ready, I’m gettin’ ready
Oh, switch on your lovin’ machine
Crowd: What the #$##! What the #$##!
Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
I can’t wait another day
Hartmann tries to escape but the Extreme Equalizer pulls him back in the ring. Then WTF delivers a powerbomb and flips him off.
Tear it down
There’s got to be a better way
Tear it down
If only you could stay
All night long
-Conan O’Brien cuts a promo at Dartmouth: “You have graduated more great fictitious Americans than any other college. Meredith Grey of ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ Pete Campbell from ‘Mad Men,’ Michael Corleone from ‘The Godfather.’ In fact, I look forward to next year’s valedictory address by your esteemed classmate, Count Chocula. Of course, your greatest fictitious graduate is Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner. Man, can you imagine if a real treasury secretary made those kinds of decisions?”
-The PCW Tag Team Champion’s California Teacher’s Union: ‘The Foul Pole’ Andy Golatta and Malibu Dusty (D) address a rumor that started when Malibu Dusty debuted at #10 on the CWC Women’s Wrestler charts. Felcher and Felcher join the champions and threaten to sue the CWC until Malibu Dusty makes a stunning announcement- she is a woman. Suave does the FARGO STRUT! Malibu Dusty admits that she’s a female bodybuilder/teacher.
NEXT WEEK- PCW LOOSE CANNONS UNLEASHED 7:PCW Extreme Political TV
Verizon Wireless Arena
Manchester, NH
Monday June 23rd,... more
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On this Monday’s PCW Extreme Political TV in Manchester, New Hampshire, prospective Republican candidates for PCW CEO: Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Tim Pawlenty will appear and their wrestlers will face off in the first big rumble of the upcoming 2012 selection season.
Participants to date:
-’Pizza Delivery Guy’ Josh Jackson- representing Herman Cain
-’American Citizen’ Kevin Scott- representing Mitt Romney
-Jack Schmidt- representing Ron Paul
-Farmer John- representing Tim Pawlenty
The rest will be revealed tomorrow night.
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More bad news for Anthony Weiner (D-NY).
At a PCW house show last night in Laconia, New Hampshire, several Democratic leaders were seen being hosed down and de-slimed after another meeting about Weiner’s future coming on the heels of relevations that Weiner had online exchanges with a 17 year old.
Democrats Nancy Pelosi, the PCW Competition Committee minority leader, and Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-Fla.), the chair of the Democrats, as well as Steve Israel (D-N.Y.), virtually simultaneously said at a press conference afterwards, that the time had come for Weiner to step aside.
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The main event tomorrow night will be a six man tag team match:
PCW Champion Yamamoto Tanaka (D), Big Labor (D), and Triple R (D) versus
Charlie Blackwell (AmHeart), Ken Worth- The American Trucker (AmHeart), and Daniel-San (I)On this Monday’s PCW Extreme Political TV in Manchester, New Hampshire,... more
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Former Ohio State Football Coach Jim 'The Vest' Tressel made his managerial debut last night at a PCW house show in Rome, NY last night.
Tressel guided new wrestler “#2″ to an upset win over ‘The Insanely Mad Hungarian” Alex Hrabosky. Before the match, Tressel promised to bring integrity and winning with honor back to PCW. It was interesting that during the match with Hrabosky, #2 often relied on the assistance of others to get over.
First, Dennis Talbott, a Columbus businessman and a freelance sports photographer, hit the ring with several Columbus area auto dealers to deliver a beatdown on Hrabosky. Afterwards, #2 posed and signed off on memorabilia before returning to the match while Tressel was off signing autographs on his books Life Promises for Success: Promises from God on Achieving Your Best and The Winners Manual For The Game of Life.
Then Edward Rife, a Columbus tattoo parlor owner, nails Hrabosky from behind with a steel chair. Tressel again was preoccupied, this time checking his email, to notice.
#2 then got the easy pin at the five minute mark. Afterwards, #2 demanded his own dressing room, a new car, and the letter “M” stricken from the alphabet.
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In other news from last night:
-Democrats came out of a meeting regarding Anthony Weiner going “Ewwwww…”
-Pop star Shakira made a guest appearance on a pole and made some Democrats feel much better…and Republicans and Independents, too.
-A video was played of PCW Extreme Equalizer Whiskey Tango Foxtrot appeared.
WTF went to Delta Airlines world headquarters, marched to the of the CEO, lifted him up and turned him upside down, and shook out the $2,800 in extra fees charged to American soldiers flying Delta and returning from Afghanistan.
- Bill Clinton emerges from another Democratic meeting concerning the Anthony Weiner situation. His response: “Ewwwwww…” He then asked if Shakira was still in the building.
-And things begin to heat up on the Republican side as Ed Rollins, heading up Michele Bachmann’s campaign for PCW CEO, takes a swipe at ‘The Alaskan Pitbull’ Sarah Palin, calling her ‘not serious.’
Palin aide Michael Grassner then cut a promo on Rollins: “Beltway political strategist Ed Rollins has a long, long track record of taking high profile jobs and promptly sticking his foot in his mouth. To no one’s surprise he has done it again, while also fueling a contrived narrative about the PCW CEO race by the mainstream media. One would expect that his woodshed moment is coming and that a retraction will be issued soon.”
Rollins then tried to reel it back in…”This was my one comment, which I shouldn’t have made, at the end of the day this has nothing to do with Michele, Michele’s campaign, or any of the rest of it,” he said. “This was my transition from being an analyst to a political strategist, and I missed a step.”Former Ohio State Football Coach Jim 'The Vest' Tressel made his managerial... more
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