tagged w/ Kate Hudson
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Effective Immediately! [Memo 8]
The following are effective immediately!
8.1 Bucket Lists Must Die!
Effective immediately, everyone will stop telling me about the things I need to do or see before I die. When you call a wish list a “bucket” list, not only are you unwittingly promoting a film the world would rather forget, but instead of inspiring me with all the fun stuff there is to do, you make it sound like a list of chores, all while reminding me of the depressing fact that I’m going to die. And who are you to be telling me what I have to do before I’m dead? I’ll be the one to decide that, and since your list doesn’t include seeing Kate Hudson naked, then I’m not going to waste my time on it.
8.2 Hypochristians
Effective immediately, you are no longer allowed to call yourself a Christian or a follower of Jesus if you are also in any fashion even the slightest bit pro-gun, pro-war or pro-violence. For far too long, this complete inconsistency has been tolerated, but it ends today! Note that if you do insist on this absurd self-contradiction, then you shall refer to yourself as a Hypochristian, a delightful neologism combining the words ‘hypocrite’ and ‘Christian.’ You may also refer to yourself as a dumbass, which, since you are one, I feel the need to inform you combines the words ‘dumb’ and ‘ass.’ When Jesus said “love thy enemy” that wasn’t code for “smoke dat bitch.” Do we really need to review this, people? Apparently we do. Well at least now, after centuries of this problem plaguing human endeavors, it’s completely solved. You’re welcome.
8.3 Tina Fey, Sarah Palin, and lots of yawning
Effective immediately, the news needs to find something to discuss other than Tina Fey doing another Sarah Palin skit. Tina Fey performing as Sarah Palin has become almost as repetitive and pointless as the real Sarah Palin. While news of Tina Fey performing as Sarah Palin is of much more value to Americans than anything the real Sarah Palin does, that’s not saying much. You could say the same about a bag of greasy potato chips. Regardless, it’s time to take a diet from both.
Leave it to Saturday Night Live to repeat a bit so many times that the horse isn’t just beaten to death, but its bones are ground to powder so fine Charlie Sheen will pounce like a tiger just to snort it. It’s a vicious cycle: first Sarah Palin “speaks,” then Tina Fey performs a skit as Sarah Palin “speaking,” then the entertainment media “reports” a “story” that the skit aired. And now, we’re talking about the news about the skit about the “speech.” Enough! There’s really not much anyone can learn from Sarah Palin, but she did unintentionally teach one good lesson by example: it’s never too soon to quit.
Sincerely,
Larry Nocella
Supervisor, Clipboard Distribution Division
www.LarryNocella.com
ei@larrynocella.comEffective Immediately! [Memo 8]
The following are effective immediately!
8.1... more
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Early on in the listless romantic comedy “Something Borrowed,” John (“The Office”) Krasinski’s character Ethan, attending a Hamptons weekend getaway with several acquaintances he clearly doesn’t care for, runs through a sequence of expressions suggesting just how much he’d rather be elsewhere.
Likely, any dude who gets dragged to this unengaging feature by his date will share the same sentiments. Yet it is also hard to imagine even those fond of the genre taking this one to heart.
http://web.me.com/writa1/tvsoundoff/Film_Reviews/Entries/2011/5/4_Something_Borrowed__Second_hand_romance.htmlEarly on in the listless romantic comedy “Something Borrowed,” John... more
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writa
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9 months ago
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c7girl
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10 months ago
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Al parecer la actriz Kate Hudson es una compradora compulsiva, ya que ayer, lunes 11 de abril, fue fotografiada saliendo de la tienda de zapatos del designer Alexandre Birman en Río de Janeiro, Brasil, con 20 pares de zapatos nuevos.Al parecer la actriz Kate Hudson es una compradora compulsiva, ya que ayer, lunes 11... more
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Kate Hudson and her baby daddy boyfriend Muse singer, Matthew Bellamy are seen arriving at Scott’s Restaurant in London, England. Not the bucket of chicken Scotts, but a place where they don’t use paper products to wipe your mouth with.
And seeing that a picture is worth a thousands words, these pictures are worth a whole lot of words. Let’s dissect and analyze the sh*t out of them, shall we?
http://www.ineedmyfix.com/2011/02/04/kate-hudson-and-matthew-bellamy-trouble-in-paradise-photos/Kate Hudson and her baby daddy boyfriend Muse singer, Matthew Bellamy are seen... more
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It was a crowded field for actresses this awards season -- in a different year, Hilary Swank might have expected a Golden Globe or Oscar nomination for her portrayal of Betty Anne Waters in Conviction, the story of a woman determined to free her brother from prison. But any awards nomination is gold for Swank, so long as it gets the word out about the film and its message.
It was a crowded field for actresses this awards season -- in a different year, Hilary... more
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Kate Hudson and her boyfriend, Muse frontman Matthew Bellamy, have been dating for merely nine months. Now the word is that the couple is expecting their first child together.Kate Hudson and her boyfriend, Muse frontman Matthew Bellamy, have been dating for... more
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Alstom
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1 year ago
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Latest News Updates Kate Hudson is pregnant. Matthew Bellamy is the father. Kate Hudson is 14 weeks pregnant, expecting a baby with boyfriend Matthew Bellamy, the frontman of the band Muse.Latest News Updates Kate Hudson is pregnant. Matthew Bellamy is the father. Kate... more
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kamoo
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1 year ago
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Recently Complete News Updates Hollywood Actress Miss Kate Hudson Pregnant With Mr. Matt Bellamy: It seems like everyone is expecting a baby these days! Word on the street is Miss Kate Hudson and Muse frontman Mr. Matthew Bellamy are the latest celebrities preparing to welcome a bundle of joy.Recently Complete News Updates Hollywood Actress Miss Kate Hudson Pregnant With Mr.... more
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kamoo
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1 year ago
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