tagged w/ Morgue
Human beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I get that the rapidly decaying, lifeless corpse over there used to belong to someone you had some fondness for. But at no point forward will that bio degrading fleshy mound of used ta was, ever do anything again that it used to do when previously possessed by the life force of who ever they aren’t anymore. Tickle it all you’d like, it ain’t never gonna giggle that unmistakable titter that you fell in love with. Call it by name, dangle it’s favorite bag of salty treats in front of it, it’s not going to pop up and suddenly begin recirculating all of your favorite bloods and give you a great big knowing hug. And if it DOES, run like hell for a stabbing or shooting utensil because your loved one is now zombified and it’s either you or it Jack!
The point I’m trying to make is this: the second your beloved friend, relative or lover breathes their last, the container they left behind that they used to drive around in to be recognizable to other things living in this plane of existence is no more them than the carton that the milk came in is going to help increase your bone density. You’re just left with an expensive bag of recycling. Feel free to mourn the person you’ve lost, but let’s try to be a little more reasonable about what remains, and treat it more like the ’74 Rambler that it is.
Now that I’ve angered and alienated most of you, let’s get to the two stories I found this morning about the uproar caused by the cremating of one barely dead (and mistaken) infant, and one already excessively dead Nazi…
Appropriateness at this point really isn't an issue I don't think...
Apparently, last year an Ohio funeral home made an isty bitsy boo boo and set alight the wrong dead baby, which, surprisingly, wasn’t met well by the guardians of said unintentionally reduced child shell. The story states that, due to a morgue mix up the body of a 14 month old was mistakenly released to the Marlan J. Gary Funeral Home, in stead of the 22 DAY old infant intended for a ride on the grill. And because the Funeral Home just cooked the baby they were given, they had their license suspended for six months.
This issue raises a lot of, what I feel are natural questions with me. Now, I’m no baby scientist, I’ve said that time and time again when ever someone runs up to me in a panic, desperately pleading for my expertise in baby science, so I feel it bears repeating: I’m no baby scientist, but I’m fairly certain that there is a decided difference between the density and general volume of the body of a one year and two month old child versus that of a three week and one day old child. I could go to Target right now and pick up a jumper with a tag that says “0-4 months” or something, and compare that to a pair of slacks in the ”Pre-pre-pre School to Pre-pre School” section and likely not be surprised by the decided difference in expected sizes.
So, does a hearse just back up to a morgue, wait to hear the thump in the bed and drive off, or are there some sort of checks in place to make sure that not only is the morgue giving away the right dead baby, but that the funeral home is RECEIVING the right dead baby? Just the shere handling of the body seems like it would tip me off if I were a dead baby delivery man. If I’m delivering a deceased 22 day old, I expect I should be able to chuck that bitch in the back of a corpse limo with one hand. Just lob it in under hand and high five myself for another day of life more than that poor bastard. And if it took say, two hands and a little bit of heft, and I checked my clip board and it said “22 dayer” I would probably wonder if I had the right infant cadaver.
Conversely, if I were a crematorier, just thinking from a strictly business stand point, I imagine I use a different amount of fuel to burn the body of a 22 day old than I would for a 14 month old. So if I were intending to roast a 22 day old, put in a bag of 22 day older fuel and just tossed in what I thought was a 22 day old, I imagine if I were to come back later, I would likely find a good deal of 14 month old left uncrematized and wonder if my baby burning fuel supplier was fucking me over.
Aside from all of that obviousness, what gets me the most about the article is where is says:
“A hearing officer noted that cremation is irreversible and said funeral directors must take precautions to ‘get it right.’ “
I doubt that most people need be reminded that reducing human remains to ash is awful difficult to undo. I’m certain that most of us didn’t think that cremation was just a fancy term for “dehydration” and that a body could just be returned to its former glory by simply splashing it with a Dixie cup of water.
Hmmm, skinheads are different than I remember...
Meanwhile, over in Germany in what seems like one of the more extreme promotional tie-ins I’ve seen for tomorrow’s release of Marvel’s “Captain America: The First Avenger”; the bones of Rudolf Hess, one of Adolph Hitler’s deputies, were exhumed and cremated. Germans don’t quite get the collectible cup level of promotion, and you can’t tell them that they’re doing it wrong or they might murder millions of Jews.
It seems that, with the lease on Hess’ burial plot coming up for renewal in October, and with the grave site having become a pilgrimage site for neo-Nazis, “Hess’ relatives and Lutheran church authorities in the town decided it was best to remove the remains.” And viola, no more neo-Nazis. Right?
“The grave is now empty,” said cemetery administrator Andreas Fabel. “The bones are gone.”
Soooo… neo-Nazis couldn’t still commune at the former grave site of their martyred hero?
They apparently “cremated the remains and scattered them secretly in a lake, whose name and location are not being divulged”, so in a way, they’ve sort of made just about anywhere a fair place to come together and celebrate the memory of Rudolf Hess. He’s now circulating in the water ways of Where Ever Germany, being carried out to sea, and floating about on the breeze. These short sighted Nazi haters have effectively dusted all of us with Nazi particles. Thanks, just what I needed, to breathe Nazi while I’m just minding my own business, hating just fine on my own thank you very much. I really have a hard time believing that neo-Nazis are so sentimental that they’re going to have any difficulty mustering up enough focused drive to gather for a hate fest just because the bones of one of their heroes, that they could never positively confirm or deny the existence of in the first place, might not be where they were last week.
But if it makes you feel any better Lutherans, congratulations, you just re-killed a dead Nazi. You won World War II. And you just spoiled the ending of “Captain America” for me, assholes!
For all of your rickety, windowless, primered comedy needs, visit:
vanfullofcandy.comHuman beings have kind of a sick obsession with dead bodies. Don’t get me... more
Vanguard correspondent Christof Putzel investigates the record-setting number of dead bodies found in the Arizona desert -- mostly migrants -- whose unidentified remains must be stored in a refrigerator truck because the local morgues are full. He also talks to a local forensic anthropologist about the risks he might encounter if he crosses the border on foot.
In "Life And Death On The Border," Putzel travels to the U.S./Mexico border to investigate one of the most contentious issues in America today: immigration. Meeting with "coyotes," the hired smugglers who offer to take immigrants across the border for a fee, Putzel learns the methods used to evade border patrol and the dangers they face on the journey. Arrest and deportation are inherent risks, but the lack of water and scorching temperatures of the desert crossing are far more deadly. Those who do make it safely across the border face tightening immigration laws and an increasingly hostile public. Putzel ultimately crosses the border with a migrant and coyote.
"Life And Death On The Border" premieres on Monday, November 15 at 9/8c on Current TV.
"Vanguard," airing weekly on Current TV Mondays at 9/8c, is a no-limits documentary series whose award-winning correspondents put themselves in extraordinary situations to immerse viewers in global issues that have a large social significance. Unlike sound-bite driven reporting, the show's correspondents, Adam Yamaguchi, Kaj Larsen, Christof Putzel and Mariana van Zeller, serve as trusted guides who take viewers on in-depth real life adventures in pursuit of some of the world's most important stories.
For more, go to http://current.com/vanguard.Vanguard correspondent Christof Putzel investigates the record-setting number of dead... more
New York City, as in other large cities like Los Angeles or Chicago, is a city of rooms, where many secret things occur clandestinely behind closed doors. Who knows what mysteries are even now unfolding inside the apartment in that very ordinary-looking building on the corner of 39th Street and Sixth Avenue, or even in the apartment right next door to it?
This series of photographs entitled “Rooms,” captures visits to rooms inside of places about which you may never have thought, or even if you’ve imagined what they’re like, you’ve probably never actually been there. The photographs capture a wide range of social and economic experiences in New York City, including: scenes at a garment-district sweatshop, a swingers sex club, the dressing-room in a stripper-club, a morgue in Harlem, New York City’s Office of the Mayor, the behind-the-scenes kitchen of a fancy-gourmet restaurant, super-elegant bathrooms and even a bowling alley in the basement of an art museum.
This piece includes a number of great color photographs, as well as a remarkable slide show of additional photographs.New York City, as in other large cities like Los Angeles or Chicago, is a city of... more
Ever wonder what the insides of a human being really look like but lacked the grit or credentials to watch an autopsy in the flesh? Well, whatever the reasons, we can all probably agree this is one of the best uses for a multitouch table surface ever. The Virtual Autopsy Table (developed by Norrköping Visualization Centre and the Center for Medical Image Science and Visualization in Sweden) makes use of high resolution MRIs, rendered and processed into 3D images which are then accessible in the table itself.
The results are super impressive and educational -- not to mention the fact that there's no actual cutting involved! The autopsy table was obviously developed with educational purposes in mind, and we wouldn't be surprised to see these cropping up in museums all over the globe any day now.Ever wonder what the insides of a human being really look like but lacked the grit or... more
At 1300 E. Warren St., you can smell the plight of Detroit.
Inside the Wayne County morgue in midtown Detroit, 67 bodies are piled up, unclaimed, in the freezing temperatures. Neither the families nor the county can afford to bury the corpses. So they stack up inside the freezer.
Albert Samuels, chief investigator for the morgue, said he has never seen anything like it during his 13 years on the job. "Some people don't come forward even though they know the people are here," said the former Detroit cop. "They don't have the money."At 1300 E. Warren St., you can smell the plight of Detroit. Inside the Wayne County... more
Does one take a 17 year old to a morgue? This is the story of a girl who sees the hands of a corpse and like Macbeth can never wash clean the image of those dead digits. All’s well, does NOT always end well.Does one take a 17 year old to a morgue? This is the story of a girl who sees the... more
Mange Ram, 19, lost consciousness in the stampede that killed 150 people and was triggered by rumors of a landslide leading to a Hindu temple devoted to the goddess Naina Devi.
Ram awoke in the hospital morgue Sunday in the northern Indian state of Himachal Pradesh.
"When I woke up, I was in the middle of a row of bodies waiting for post mortem," he told the Times. "My throat was parched and I asked for water. Towering over me the doctors and nursing staff at Anandpur Sahib Civil Hospital looked dazed. They must have been surprised to see a dead man come alive like that."
Sat Pal Aggarwal, a doctor on the pilgrimage, said little was done to see if victims of the stampede were still alive.
"People were dumped quite haphazardly into trucks without following any procedure or checking if they were alive," he told the Times.
Despite the huge loss of life, the pilgrimage continued only hours after the corpses had been cleared, according to the newspaper.Mange Ram, 19, lost consciousness in the stampede that killed 150 people and was... more
A Taiwan man grieving over the death of his girlfriend climbed inside a morgue freezer to be with her and was only pulled out alive half an hour later.
The 41-year-old man was discovered on Monday when workers detected an unusually high temperature in the freezer and realized the hatch was not securely fastened.
The man took a drug before entering the freezer to speed what appeared to be suicide attempt, local papers said. They said his girlfriend died on Friday from an overdose of sleeping pills.
The morgue would step up security to ensure that family and others who come by to identify bodies do not stay too long, morgue administrator Chang Lung-ching said.
A Taiwan man grieving over the death of his girlfriend climbed inside a morgue freezer... more