tagged w/ unicorn
It's no secret that the rich despise the poor. This hatred stems from a couple very different, very dark places in the place that at one time may or may not have housed a soul. Either 1) the rich person was once poor, and the very sight of the un-monied sends shivers down their spine, reminding them of the life they fought out of, frightened every day that someone will take it all away from them and send them back to the horrors of non-richness. of B) they have never known a minute of want in their entire privileged life and are so out of touch, with no reference for the plight of the soiled dirty people, they don't understand how everyone doesn't own a drawer full of platinum dipped, emerald encrusted cock rings, except that their abject lazy and unwillingness to make something of themselves makes them despise them and their worn more than once clothing.
There's really no other way to explain the mind rapingly unnecessary extravagances that the rich continue to treat themselves to when surrounded by a world that at best is barely scraping by and is at worst, scraping off a bite of those who failed to scrape by.
The latest luxury item being offered to the bored rich collector of things that they should be ashamed of is this beaut...
Feast your eyes on the majesty of the only razor greater than yourself.
Now, you may be asking, "Why has a razor for the wasteful wealthy pissed you off so very much Mr. Blog? It's just a razor, what harm could it possibly do to you and your constantly yelly face?" And it's a fair question. Just looking at this face deforestation utensil, it looks no more special than your average Gillette. Frankly, it actually looks kind of ugly. A razor is generally a fairly harmless bathroom expenditure and this one looks like you could probably buy a bag of three of them for five bucks at CVS. But if that were the case, I wouldn't have been shouting at the sky for the last three hours, now would I? Well, okay, I probably would have, but at least this gave me a somewhat defensible reason.
You see, if you'd like to scrape the whiskers from your face in the most luxurious, exclusive way known to the abhorrent excess of man, you can get yourself your very own Zafirro Iridium for the bargain basement price of JUST... $100,000.
No, I didn't just have a stroke and lean on the zero key for a comically long period of time: that's the real fucking price. For only $100,000 you can stride confidently across the face of your own bought and paid for planet with chops as smooth as a starving child's malnourished ass cheeks.
And you know what, you get your very last penny's worth, because the Zafirro Iridium isn't made with space age technology, that's for poor assholes. No, the Zafirro Iridium is made from fucking SPACE! See, if Zafirro's razor sounds sort of familiar in a weird, sci-fi kind of way, that's because it gets its name from the material it's made from "Iridium". What is iridium you may be wondering? Well you see, most of the iridium found on our planet is "the result of crashed meteorites"... That's right, this razor is made of space rocks. Actually, scratch that. The HANDLE is made of space rocks. The fucking handle is made of iridium, an "extremely scarce and expensive metal that is so dense, it could survive a drop into molten lava". Not the business end of this $100,000 indestructible face smoother but just the HANDLE, the LEAST IMPORTANT PART of this thing is made of a Superman metal from a doomed planet far, far away that has crash landed on Earth.
So then, if the thing that holds the blade is made of metal that can leap tall buildings in a single bound, what the hell fuck could the actual blade be made of? Sharpened unicorn bones? Laser carved shards of a brown dwarf star? Jesus' finger nail clippings? No, that's ridiculous, nothing quite so extravagant and fantastical, the blades of this $100,000 dollar shaver are simply made from artificially grown sapphire... That's all... I don't even know what that means or if the reality of what the blades actually are is even less insane than the other options I threw on the table.
Zafirro, which apparently only exists to sell these razors, is only offering 99 of these grotesque impulse buys to the money soaked "public", adding one more irresistible feature to lure in the bahudratrillionaires: exclusivity. The only thing the super rich love more than buying more comically expensive things that shouldn't cost nearly so much, is knowing that they will be one of only a handful of people on the planet to own it.
To say this is unnecessary is a gross understatement, but that doesn't mean that people don't have the right to spend their money how ever they see fit. What makes me so angry is when I see something like this and then, foolishly, put it in perspective. The poverty line in the contiguous United States for the year of our lord 2000 and 11 for a family of 4 (with all family members 18 years of age or over) is $22,350. So, give those four families a couple extra bucks in walkin' around money to waste on frivolous nonsense that the poor are known to throw their money away on, such as food and electricity, and 16 people could live the lavish life of the just barely not impoverished for an entire year for the price of a single, solitary, volcano proof grooming tool...
It's better not to think about these things, I wish I didn't. But I do, and that's why I'm angry all the time. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get a ten pack of Bics at the dollar store and try to resist the urge to cut my hands off with them... BYE NOW!
For all of your rickety, windowless, primered comedy needs, visit:
vanfullofcandy.comIt's no secret that the rich despise the poor. This hatred stems from a couple... more
If you long for the comfort and camaraderie found in the houses of Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, or even (Heaven forbid) Slytherin...then this is probably just going to be disappointing, but it's the best you're going to find. For a nominal fee, you can enroll in the Grey School of Wizardry. You'll be sorted into a house or lodge, participate in extracurriculars such as the Defense Against the Dark Arts or Tower of Babel Language Clubs, learn skills including Alchemy and Divination, and maybe even be Head Boy or Head Girl, all from the comfort of your own computer.
http://adorablenapalm.blogspot.com/2011/03/hogwarts-for-muggles.htmlIf you long for the comfort and camaraderie found in the houses of Gryffindor,... more
“Baby Time” is an HD-3D short film, part of the Philips Parallel Lines series of films. The Phillips collection consists of original short films using the same brief six-line dialogue, which this year was: “What is that? It’s a unicorn. I’ve never seen one up close before. Beautiful. Get away, Get away. I’m sorry.”
“Baby Time” is a very creative, slapstick short film directed by Cédric Petitcollin, which won the People’s Voice Award in the 2010 Philips Global Film-Making Contest. The film tells the story of a hapless actor clad in a unicorn costume, who is trying desperately to reach his wife in the hospital before she has their baby.
This piece includes a number of high-resolution color photographs, as well as the wickedly comical short film.
http://disembedded.wordpress.com/2010/11/24/baby-time-a-slapstick-race-against-time/“Baby Time” is an HD-3D short film, part of the Philips Parallel Lines... more
“The Foundling” is a recently premiered HD-3D short film, part of the Philips Parallel Lines series of films. The Phillips collection consists of original short films using the same brief six-line dialogue, which this year was: “What is that? It’s a unicorn. I’ve never seen one up close before. Beautiful. Get away, Get away. I’m sorry.”
“The Foundling” is a creative and richly detailed historical piece directed by Barney Cokeliss, which was shot in collaboration with the award-winning team of stereographers that also worked on the 3D blockbuster, Avatar (2010). In the film, an abandoned boy has a chance reunion with his long-lost mother in the drama set within a traditional touring circus in 1930s England.
Includes high-resolution color photographs and the HD short film.
http://disembedded.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/the-foundling-a-spectacular-cinematic-saga-of-loss-and-recovery/“The Foundling” is a recently premiered HD-3D short film, part of the... more
“Porcelain Unicorn” is a sensitively inspiring short film directed by Keegan Wilcox, which was named Best Short Film in the 2010 Philips Global Film-Making Contest. The film was chosen from more than 600 entries from around the world, which were submitted by aspiring filmmakers who created original short films using the same brief six-line dialogue.
“Porcelain Unicorn” is a historical drama, which begins with an elderly man who is struggling with memories of 1943 Germany, a time when he was a member of the Hitler Youth Organization. As a 12 year-old boy, he had broken into an abandoned Jewish shop and discovered a frightened young Jewish girl trying to hide from the Nazi storm troopers. Their brief encounter in the situation of life-threatening danger led to a shared moment of tenderness, which forged a special relationship between the two children living in war-torn Europe.
The sense of mutuality in that critical experience provided a foundation for an enduring hope in the possibility for emotional healing. The film invokes a message that conveys a strong conviction in the power of the human spirit to triumph over the trauma of catastrophic events.
This piece includes a number of high-resolution color photographs, as well as the acclaimed short film.
http://disembedded.wordpress.com/2010/11/16/porcelain-unicorn-the-healing-power-of-the-human-spirit/“Porcelain Unicorn” is a sensitively inspiring short film directed by... more
So, supposedly someone saw a UNICORN prancing through woods in Canada...or he probably got jabbed in the head with an arrow. You be the judge.So, supposedly someone saw a UNICORN prancing through woods in Canada...or he probably... more
Some people out there own horses, pfft, but now cyclists can now own a unicorn with this simple bike mod.
"The winner of the Seoul Cycle Design Competition 2010, "Horsey," is a simple kit that allows anyone to turn their roll into a gallop. The designer, Eungi Kim, explains: "-Geekologie
According to the product designers it is easy to fit on a bike and going by the pictures you can still ride the bike.Some people out there own horses, pfft, but now cyclists can now own a unicorn with... more
It's for an advert about anti virus software, but puts a tiny unicorn against action star
Dolph Lundgren. Lets hope the unicorn appears in the next Expendables movie.It's for an advert about anti virus software, but puts a tiny unicorn against... more
A pic for the Unicorn group.
http://www.society6.com/cdn/images/post_10/11539_16005043_l.jpgA pic for the Unicorn group.... more
Tomino & Takayuki Yoshii (Sunrise CEO) confirmed and officially announced the Gundam Unicorn movie with a target release date for 2010.
Admittedly I dont know anything about Gundam other than there are dozens of shops in Akihabara filled with hundreds of the Gundam toys. But I do know this....robots + unicorn has to be awesome.Tomino & Takayuki Yoshii (Sunrise CEO) confirmed and officially announced the... more
As the credit crunch makes the idea of owning a home even more unrealistic, we look at Britain's undiscovered pots of property gold in the hope that, one day, even someone like you may be able to afford a piece of it.As the credit crunch makes the idea of owning a home even more unrealistic, we look at... more
The okapi, an African animal so elusive that it was once believed to be a mythical unicorn, has been photographed in the wild for the first time, the Zoological Society of London (ZSL) said Thursday.
Camera traps set by the ZSL and the Congolese Institute for Nature Conservation (ICCN) captured pictures of the okapi in Virunga National Park in the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
The pictures have dispelled fears that the species had died out in more than a decade of civil war.
Noelle Kumpel, ZSL's Bushmeat and Forests Conservation Program Manager, said: "To have captured the first-ever photographs of such a charismatic creature is amazing, and particularly special for ZSL given that the species was originally described here over a century ago.
"Okapi are very shy and rare animals, which is why conventional surveys only tend to record droppings and other signs of their presence."
The okapi, which have a black, giraffe-like tongue and zebra-like stripes on their behind, were last spotted in the Virunga National Park nearly 50 years ago on the west bank of the Semliki River.
The new ZSL survey revealed a previously unknown okapi population on the east side of the river.
Thierry Lusenge, a member of ZSL's Democratic Republic of Congo survey team, said: "The photographs clearly show the stripes on their rear, which act like unique fingerprints.
"We have already identified three individuals, and further survey work will enable us to estimate population numbers and distribution in and around the park, which is a critical first step in targeting conservation efforts."
The exact status of the okapi is unknown as civil conflict and poor infrastructure makes access to the forests of DRC difficult.
But ZSL warned that even the newly-discovered okapi population was under threat from poachers.
Okapi meat, reportedly from the Virunga park, is now on sale in the nearby town of Beni and ZSL warned that if hunting continues at the current rate, okapi could become extinct in the park within a few years.The okapi, an African animal so elusive that it was once believed to be a mythical... more
A young deer was born in an animal shelter and has a single horn bang in the middle of his forehead. The speculation is that since this anomaly, although rare, is not unknown, deer with a single horn on their forehead may be at the origin of the "Unicorn Myths". Some years ago, there were a couple or so white goats with a single horn sprouting from their forehead. It seems that their two horns welded and spiraled around each other. There again, the classical morphology of the unicorn depicts a white animal about the size of a large goat or a small deer, with a goat's "goatee" (hence the origin of that word), although it has a horse-like head and a mane. Its hooves are cleft like those of sheep, goats, deer, cattle, etc., and its tail is long and rather like a lion's tail.
There is no smoke without fire, they say, and many myths are born from unusual events and individuals, animals included. They have a basis in reality, and the mythification process embroiders and magnifies the original event and character.
Click on the above unicorn to see the video.
A young deer was born in an animal shelter and has a single horn bang in the middle of... more
A roe deer with a single horn in the middle of its head has found fame as the "Unicorn" of Tuscany.
The 10-month-old deer was born in captivity at the Centre of Natural Sciences, a nature reserve near Prato.
The 'unicorn' photographed in Tuscany, Italy
While single-horned deers have been spotted before, this particular buck has a uniquely central horn, thought to be the result of a genetic flaw.
"This is a demonstration that the fabled unicorn, which we all know from icons and legends, probably was not just a fantasy.
"It was probably an animal like this one, with a natural anomaly," said Gilberto Tozzi, the director of the centre.
A roe deer with a single horn in the middle of its head has found fame as the... more
A deer with a single horn in the center of its head — much like the fabled, mythical unicorn — has been spotted in a nature preserve in Italy, park officials said Wednesday.
"This is fantasy becoming reality," Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato, told The Associated Press. "The unicorn has always been a mythological animal."
The 1-year-old Roe Deer — nicknamed "Unicorn" — was born in captivity in the research center's park in the Tuscan town of Prato, near Florence, Tozzi said.
He is believed to have been born with a genetic flaw; his twin has two horns.
Calling it the first time he has seen such a case, Tozzi said such anomalies among deer may have inspired the myth of the unicorn.
A deer with a single horn in the center of its head — much like the fabled,... more