tagged w/ Chris Martin
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"The bad news: the baby seal hunting season has begun off the coast of Newfoundland. The good news: they're using a more humane technique. They're shaking the baby seals instead of clubbing them." Chris Martin joins People for the Ethical Treatment of Stand-up Comedians at the 9:55 Comedy Club's open mic May 2, 2011. Joshua Saucier is the MC.
http://www.chrismartincomedy.com"The bad news: the baby seal hunting season has begun off the coast of... more
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"The Pillsbury Dough Boy celebrated his fifty-first birthday. Sadly, he never recovered from his molestation at the hands of the Michelin Man." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin deflates brands April 27, 2011 at McCormack's Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Joe Hafkey is MC.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"The Pillsbury Dough Boy celebrated his fifty-first birthday. Sadly, he never... more
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"Bad news: Japan glows in the dark. Good news: Sarah Palin can now see two countries from her porch." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin goes Gilbert Gottfried April 19, 2011 at Strange Matter in Richmond, VA. John Reaves is the MC.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"Bad news: Japan glows in the dark. Good news: Sarah Palin can now see two... more
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"Charlie Sheen has a nationwide tour called 'The Violent Torpedo of Truth.' Curiously, that was also my porn name." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin reveals a sordid secret April 4, 2011 at the 9:55 Comedy Club open mic in Richmond, VA. Ray Bullock is the MC.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"Charlie Sheen has a nationwide tour called 'The Violent Torpedo of... more
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"The only way Charlie Sheen's tour could be more over the top: if he had tag-team wrestling between Zsa Zsa Gabor and Anthony Robles. I knew that joke didn't have a leg to stand on." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin gets off on the wrong foot March 23, 2011 at McCormack's Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Jesse Jarvis is the MC.
http://ChrisMartinComedy.com"The only way Charlie Sheen's tour could be more over the top: if he had... more
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"The bad news: tsunami hits Japan. The good news: swirlies are on the house." MC John Reaves bestows the Too-Soon Award to stand-up comedian Chris Martin March 14, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA.
http://ChrisMartinComedy.com"The bad news: tsunami hits Japan. The good news: swirlies are on the... more
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"Charlie Sheen is the new Dorian Gray. I tried to get a transfusion of Tiger blood but he kept hitting me with his golf club." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin wades into the Adonis DNA gene pool March 13, 2011 at Underground Comedy at the New York Deli in Richmond, VA, presented by Brian Mann. John Reaves is the MC.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"Charlie Sheen is the new Dorian Gray. I tried to get a transfusion of Tiger... more
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"We just celebrated Presidents Day. We should have a Vice Presidents Day. That way, instead of shooting off fireworks we'd get to shoot someone in the face." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin has one of those nights March 9, 2011 at McCormack's Irish Pub in Richmond, VA. Pitshou Kafuku is the MC.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"We just celebrated Presidents Day. We should have a Vice Presidents Day. That... more
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"Bill Murray saw his shadow on Groundhog Day. That means we're in for another year of artsy-fartsy movies." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin is ready for spring February 28, 2011 at Cafe Diem Comedy Night in Richmond, VA. Andrew Pauley is the MC.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"Bill Murray saw his shadow on Groundhog Day. That means we're in for... more
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"He puts the 'ha' in 'Stendhal Syndrome.'" MC Gradt Mutge introduces stand-up comedian Chris Martin at the Midnight Suggestion, presented by Johnny Hugel and Steady Sounds February 24, 2011 in Richmond, VA.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"He puts the 'ha' in 'Stendhal Syndrome.'" MC Gradt... more
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"I'm going to read the fictional memoirs of a lovable alcoholic. I haven't decided whether it's going to be Snooki or George W. Bush." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin eases into 2011 in this set February 23 at Strange Matter in Richmond, VA.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"I'm going to read the fictional memoirs of a lovable alcoholic. I... more
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"If I ever do Rumanian porn, I want to be known as Vlad the Impaler." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin discusses plan B at McCormack's Irish Pub December 22, 2010. Ray Bullock is the MC.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"If I ever do Rumanian porn, I want to be known as Vlad the Impaler."... more
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"I just flew in from the North Pole and, boy, are my arms tired." Stand-up comic Chris Martin delivers a post-Christmas bag of jokes December 27, 2010 for a MS research benefit at the 9:55 Comedy Club in Richmond, VA.
http://chrismartincomedy.com"I just flew in from the North Pole and, boy, are my arms tired." Stand-up... more
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"Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that 'throw a shrimp on the barbie' is not a Verne Troyer sex tape." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin gets kinky at Refried Comedy @ Aztek Grill in Richmond, VA.
http://www.ChrisMartinComedy.com"Imagine my disappointment when I discovered that 'throw a shrimp on the... more
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"I ran into a black guy in Shockoe Bottom and asked him how he was doing. He said, 'I'm just hanging.' In other words, things haven't changed that much in 200 years." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin takes a stroll through time and ground zero for the trans-Atlantic slave trade July 25, 2010 in the Buckin' Comedy Throwdown at Gibson's Grill in Richmond, VA. Kenny Wingle is the MC."I ran into a black guy in Shockoe Bottom and asked him how he was doing. He... more
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"It's so hot Dick Cheney waterboarded himself... It was so hot in LA that Lindsay Lohan had to rely on an air conditioner to supply her blow." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin discusses summer in the city July 20, 2010 at the Charlottesville Comedy Roundtable's open mic at the Twelth Street Taphouse in Charlottesville, VA. Blake Wilding is the MC.
http://www.ChrisMartinComedy.com"It's so hot Dick Cheney waterboarded himself... It was so hot in LA that... more
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"By applause, who's for Team Jacob? By applause, who's for Team Edward? By applause, who's on Team I don't give a rat's ass." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin sucks the life out of the audience by talking Twilight July 15, 2010 at Cozzy's Comedy Club's open mic in Newport News, VA. Slim Bloodworth is the MC.
http://www.ChrisMartinComedy.com"By applause, who's for Team Jacob? By applause, who's for Team Edward?... more
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"We've made a lot of progress since 1776. Back then, Thomas Jefferson owned black women. Today, Eliot Spitzer just rents them." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin emcees the 9:55 Comedy Club's open mic July12, 2010 in Richmond, VA.
http://www.ChrisMartinComedy.com"We've made a lot of progress since 1776. Back then, Thomas Jefferson owned... more
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"Thailand is cool. At a Family Dollars Store in Thailand you can actually buy a family for a dollar." Stand-up comedian Chris Martin gets all up in your grill July 7, 2010 at Refried Comedy @ Aztek Grill in Richmond, VA. MC is Odyssey Michaels.
http://www.chrismartincomedy.com"Thailand is cool. At a Family Dollars Store in Thailand you can actually buy a... more
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