semen // Current TV

Watch out guys: wi-fi laptops might damage sperm!

Using a laptop with wi-fi connection might be causing a lot of damage to men’s... more

mattsoper
added this
6 months ago
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0 comments

Semen-Tainted Yogurt Culprit Anthony Garcia Pleads Guilty

because thats completely normal...

cclark_productions
added this
7 months ago
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0 comments

Is It Real A Semen Based Cookbook (6 pics)

neham
added this
10 months ago
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0 comments

Sushi Sauce Contained Semen, Woman's Lawsuit Claims

News

cclark_productions
added this
10 months ago
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1 comment

How marijuana effects sperm

http://infertilityinfertility.net/male-infertlity/the-effect-of-marijuana-on-sperm-vide... more

blankmag
added this
11 months ago
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2 comments

Would You Drink Apple Flavoured Horse Semen?

A bar in New Zealand has introduced a new stomach-churning addition to its drinks menu... more

bigredkev
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11 months ago
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5 comments

Science Hates Your Balls: The War on Sperm

Scientists, in laboratories all over the globe, are busy thinking of new and hilarious ways to make mice fucking even more pointless. But don't laugh too hard at blank shooting rodents, because science'll be coming for your testicles next!

Since the invention of the penis approximately 47 billion years ago man has been desperately trying to devise ways to control them. They are godless fornication machines, guided only by impulse and an unyielding quest for personal gain and satisfaction of their unquenchable desires. Hell bent on destroying all those that possess them, whether it be through their devilish creation of distilled, fermented spirits used to bend the will of their symbiotic hosts, or their ingenious invention of the internet which they use to transmit their images around the globe to all of those who would marvel at their grandeur.

At the moment there are only two proven methods of male contraception: prayer and butt sex. And if you ask any homosexual couple trying to have a child, they'll tell you it's nigh impossible to impregnate each other, try as they might, but science still isn't sure if it's the power of the prayers of people who hate other people despite their own god telling them not to hate anyone, or just the simple fact that the homosexual uterus is located just below the left lung, too far for the penis to reach through either of the homosexual's two favorite orifices... try as they might.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on the proclivity or selfish laziness of whom you ask, heterosexual procreation is much more easily achievable. Almost anyone can do it. But that seems to be the problem. And rather than continue on as we have for the last fifty years, allowing the ladies to take almost complete responsibility for repelling the seminal onslaught on their innards, science says that gentlemen should have more contraceptive options than simply genital mutilation or specially designed poison coated miniature trash bags.

So armies of spooge hating scientists around the world are experimenting with all sorts ways to keep testicle tadpoles from getting from point A to unfertilized egg B. With experimental "solutions" including stopping and restarting sperm production in mice, bombarding scrotums with ultrasound waves, removing proteins that keep sperm cells from being able to penetrate eggs, and blocking vitamin A. You see, apparently as this article seems to suggests and I'm not interested enough to look for confirmation of, "life wigglies" as I so childishly refer to them, are composed solely of vitamin A. So just know, if you ever take any supplement that contains vitamin A, you're swallowing semen.

In India they're testing an injectable synthetic substance that "sabotages sperm as they leave the testes and lasts for years". I don't even know what that means, or have any idea of what it COULD mean. I didn't realize that a sperm cell had so many moving parts that you could simply loosen a bolt or two and it'd fly apart, slam into your urethral wall and explode in a tiny, tiny fireball.

As for what's already on the market, in addition to the customary permanent snip and latex straight jackets there's also apparently other "hormone gels and implants that can make men temporarily infertile" available in America "for other purposes". I'm going to chalk up the "for other purposes" in their description of these currently available temporary infertility gels and implants as some sort of error in translation from what ever language is native to this jizm hating propagandist, because aside from preventing unintentional impregnation, I'm not entirely sure what other purposes temporary infertility could serve. I can't even think of any ridiculous explanations for a statement as seemingly nonsensical as this one. And when I can't think of a way to properly ridicule the stupid thing that you just said, it makes me angry, and frightened, and then angry again. Because I don't know if you're the smartest person in the world or if you've just invented a new stupid that will surely kill us all.

Me, I'm a traditionalist. I don't need any fancy doodads and rigmarole to make sure I don't end up a with a miniature version of myself that only seems to take pleasure in shitting on me. I personally employ the time tested "paint the naval" technique of birth control, which, in doing actual research on the subject I have found when done properly has almost the same effectiveness as any other form of over the counter birth control. Of course, when done incorrectly the failure rate sextuples, but I just have a hard time understanding how the "thorax frosting" method could be done incorrectly. Maybe I've lived a sheltered life, but I've never been surprised by the culmination of my own pelvic efforts. At no point in my life have I ever suddenly, and without substantial forewarning experienced an eruption of mount baldy that's caught me completely unawares... But I guess I just understand how my personal workings and doings present themselves, and apparently that makes me special.

So science: leave my gonads alone! Let the ladies handle the parenthood prevention, because left in the hands of those completely ruled by their more powerful apendage, contraception will be less than pointless. I can't be trusted to not to forget to put my watch on before leaving for wok, you think I'm going to remember to spray my groin with vitamin A killing lasers every morning?

Besides, what me and my seed do is nobody's business but mine and who or what ever I decide to shellac with it.

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For all of your rickety, windowless, primered comedy needs, visit:
vanfullofcandy.comScientists, in laboratories all over the globe, are busy thinking of new and hilarious... more

VanFullOfCandy
added this
12 months ago
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16 comments

Dirty Hotel Sheets EXPOSED

Watch this video before you spend one more night in a respected hotel!

IMPROVGROUP
added this
1 year ago
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1 comment

It was semen! Police confirms free yogurt sample given to woman in shop was a bit iffy

Our worst fears have come true as the woman who two weeks ago suspected she had tasted... more

sbacker
added this
1 year ago
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126 comments

Breaking News Why Is The Ocean Salty

Latest Complete News Updates Snooki things the water in the ocean is salty because of... more

farzana1
added this
1 year ago
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0 comments

Semen in Free Yogurt Sample, Sunflower Market Customer Spits Doesn't Swallow

ALBUQUERQUE (KRQE) - A woman claims that when she tasted a yogurt sample from... more

bundlebear
added this
1 year ago
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2 comments

Men can be allergic to their own semen

Bad news guys, if you start feeling a bit worse for wear after a romp you might be allergic to your own semen. The condition, which I assume would be every man's living nightmare, is known as post orgasmic illness syndrome (POIS). It causes feverishness, runny nose, extreme fatigue and burning eyes. The symptoms appear minutes after climax and last for up to a week.The mysterious syndrome has been documented in medical journals since 2002, but little was known about what caused it and how it could be treated.Professor Marcel Waldinger from Utrecht University has now published two studies in the Journal of Sexual medicine, which answer both these questions, says the LA Times. The first found that the syndrome is probably caused by an allergic reaction to semen, while the second suggests hyposensitisation therapy could help affected men.He added that the findings 'contradict the idea that the complaints have a psychological cause.'It could prove a relief to sufferers, who experts say often feel confused and ashamed about the condition.
The Semen Test(es)
Professor Waldinger and his team analysed 45 Dutch men who were diagnosed with the illness."They didn't feel ill when they masturbated without ejaculating, but as soon as the semen came from the testes... after that they became ill, sometimes within just a few minutes," he said.Thirty-three of them agreed to undergo a standard skin-prick allergy test using a diluted form of their own semen.Of those, 29, or 88 per cent, had a positive skin reaction indicating an auto-immune response, or allergic reaction.In a second study in the same journal the team treated two of the volunteers with hyposensitisation therapy - a well-known technique for treating allergies.It repeatedly exposes the body to small but gradually increasing amounts of the allergen over several years.They found that the men showed a significantly reduction in their POIS symptoms after one and three years.Professor Waldinger's team has now started several more POIS patients on hyposensitisation therapy. Bad news guys, if you start feeling a bit worse for wear after a romp you might be... more

sbacker
added this
1 year ago
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10 comments

Randomness: Blinded With Science Style

A random round up of WTF articles from around the intertubes. In this edition: bat... more

omnipotentpoobah
added this
1 year ago
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0 comments

4-Year-Old Puts Used Condom In Mouth At Atlanta Hotel, May Have Herpes!

ATLANTA -- A 4-year-old child may now have a sexually transmitted disease because of a... more

doggeman
added this
1 year ago
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1 comment

Randomness: Nerd Girl Porn Style

Random news from around the globe. This week, Ray Bradbury drives the young girls... more

omnipotentpoobah
added this
1 year ago
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19 comments

Man charged in semen attacks in Gaithersburg stores

August 4, 2010 - 11:06am GAITHERSBURG, Md. (AP) - A Maryland man is accused of... more

putdownmypants
added this
1 year ago
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0 comments

Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking... more

GrrlScientist
added this
1 year ago
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3 comments

Semen Therapy - NOT CREDIBLE

I noticed that the item "Semen Therapy - swallowing semen is good for your... more

joshuaheller
added this
2 years ago
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0 comments

Woman Is Allergic to Her Husband’s Sperm

A painful diagnosis shattered their dream of parenthood. They learned that Julie Boyde... more

Icanspeel
added this
2 years ago
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1 comment

Cooking with semen

Apparently semen is incredibly nutritious, or so says the Natural Harvest semen... more

Emily_RS
added this
2 years ago
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14 comments

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