tagged w/ Loch Ness Monster
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There are so many unknowns in this world. So many things that live with us every day, unseen, thought lost or having not even yet been discovered by man. The great mysteries of the world we live in intrigue us every day, push explorers toward the outer reaches of our understanding and beyond. What is it about these great, elusive creatures that sparks the imagination, drives the soul and compels us to shoot them in the fucking face?
El Chupacabra is dead, long live El Chupacabra.
And they’re coming for you next Nessie.
In Texas, where the law as I understand it is that you can shoot anyone or anything at any time for any reason, and that the only gun crime that you can be punished for is shooting one gun with another gun; a thirteen year old kid murdered the Legendary Chupacabra.
“Something slowly came across and started shaking, slowly moving across,” 13 year old Cryptozooassassin Carter Pope said when questioned about his grisly, thoughtless slaying. “It was gray, no hair at all. I thought that’s a Chupacabra.”
And reading that description, what else could it have been? Slow moving? Checkacabra. Shakey? Chupacheckra. Gray and hairless? Checkacheckra! That could only be the fabled El Chupacabra! Or a retired space alien, or any of our great grand parents. Or a Chupacabra, what am I saying? Of course, a Chupacabra, that’s exactly as I remember hearing them described. Slow moving and easily shootable. Almost too easily. 84% of bullets manufactured wind up in Chupacabras. If you own a gun, chances are it’s shot a Chupacabra already.
Not satisfied with simply murdering a sickly animal in his yard and declaring it “dead Chupacabra” before building a roadside shack where he could charge gawkers a nickel a peek, the report said that Carter “took hair and skin samples to get tested and put an end to the mystery once and for all.” Smart, because it’s one thing to just paint a sign with adorable backwards Rs on it and wait for the rabble to straggle on in, while it’s another thing entirely to have a certificate of authenticity nailed to your gut shot goat drainer to really add some credibility to your be-tented attraction.
But why stop at one shakey, elderly myth beast? Apparently the “Deadliest Catch” guys have set their sights on a catch of even more deadliesterness: The Loch Ness Monster… of Alaska… Or something.
Two of the “stars” of the Discovery Channel’s bafflingly uncanceled television program “Deadliest Catch”; Fisherman Joe and Dan the Crab Murderer… Or something… Apparently have footage dating back to 2009 that may prove the existence of an “Alaskan Loch Ness Monster”!
Now excusing that Mr. Monster’s first and middle names are not Loch and Ness but are instead a reference to the physical place in which it is most commonly known to reside, AND that he REALLY doesn’t like the negative connotations associated to the term “monster”, how about we come to a conclusion as to whether it is in fact the one and the same Nessie simply flitting about on an Alaskan vacation, or just some other upstart sea monster flashing it’s proverbial celebrity vadge at sea paparazzi for the TMZ of educational programming, the Discovery Channel, to parade around their air waves.
Crab genocidist Andy Hillstrand will be debuting this new footage on his creatively named “Hillstranded” special on the Discovery Channel. And just having put together that sentence, describing the upcoming airing of a SECOND television show starring this fisherist has broken my soul and gang raped my very will to live.
Honestly, how can I possibly be expected to keep my focus on the fact that today’s news is just jam packed to the rafters with the wanton execution and harassment of this planet’s most imaginary animals when I’m forced to confront the reality that a man who fishes, has two more television shows than I do. I’m so angry I could strangle to death something that doesn’t even exist! My anger is so rich and pure that my mind could conjure up a creature from nothingness, breathe life into it against all of the laws of the universe, solely so that I could vent upon it my righteous frustrations with the inherent unfairness of a guy who tricks sea insects into a cage being given not just one television show, which in and of itself is the kind of perverse joke that television producers dare other producers to pitch to nature channels, but the unmitigated gall of the universe to allow this sea faring ass a second avenue to more completely share his every fisherman eye on life with the shut ins and buried alive hoarders who have yet to be discovered for their own Learning Channel series; that make up the entirety of his viewing audience…
… Just bugs me is all…
Now what was I saying? Oh, right — RUN NESSIE! THE CAMERAS ARE COMING FROM INSIDE THE OCEAN!
I’m going to go cry now, for me, for you and for all the make believe creatures being hunted into pretend extinction. Big Foot, Abominable: watch your furry asses.
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vanfullofcandy.comThere are so many unknowns in this world. So many things that live with us every day,... more
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Tha Corner Exclusive Interview With Loch
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If you’re tired of the predictability of traditional museums or have an interest in the mysterious and unexplained, you might want to check out Loren Coleman’s International Cryptozoology Museum. Coleman is a cryptozoologist, meaning he studies hidden, unknown or unusual animals, some of which may or may not truly exist or could even be extinct. These animals tend to lurk in mythology, urban legends and folklore, and include such familiar beasts as Bigfoot, Yeti, Nessie and the Jersey Devil, just to name a few. If Coleman’s name sounds vaguely familiar, you may have seen it on the covers of the many crypto-centered books he’s written or perhaps you’ve seen the man himself on television programs and documentaries dealing with the subject, such as the History Channel’s MonsterQuest. Coleman also keeps a blog, Cryptomundo, where he posts news from the field and gives thoughtful, open-minded, scientific breakdowns and analyses of the latest evidence and sightings from around the globe.
Read more: http://www.whitespace.bz/ws/web/forms/pulse/PulseMainArticle.aspx?id=403If you’re tired of the predictability of traditional museums or have an interest... more
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If the Loch Ness monster is ever caught, it will go on display in the Natural History Museum. Also a the deal made in the late 1980's bookmakers William Hill pays the museum an annual fee for the guarantee its experts will provide “positive identification” of the animal. So far the museum's made £22,000 out of this.
The same deal also covers verfication of the yeti. William Hill currently offers odds of 500/1 on the existence of the Loch Ness monster being proved within a year and 200/1 for the Yeti.
It seems like the Natural History Museum is the only organisation they reckon is objective enough to prove it exists.If the Loch Ness monster is ever caught, it will go on display in the Natural History... more
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Is this a picture of the infamous Loch Ness Monster?
The picture of the unidentified object is actually in the Loch. It was discovered by Security Guard Jason Cooke when he was using Google Earth.
Mr Cooke, 25, of Nottingham, told the Sun newspaper: "I couldn't believe it. It's just like the descriptions of Nessie."
What do you think it is?Is this a picture of the infamous Loch Ness Monster?
The picture of the... more
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Could this finally be the proof we've all been waiting for? Does the Loch Nes Monster ACTUALLY exist? According to the Sun reader who found this image, this is proof enough for him.Could this finally be the proof we've all been waiting for? Does the Loch Nes... more
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The remains of a Loch Ness-style creature that lived in the English Channel 200 million years ago have been found on a beach.
Archaeologists have spent months piecing together dozens of old bones found encased in limestone on Britain's Jurassic Coast by a fossil hunter.
After nearly completing the jigsaw-like puzzle they have disclosed that the skeleton, which is 70 per cent complete, is that of a 12ft long plesiosaur.
The marine reptile resembled the Loch Ness monster with its long thin neck and tail, four large flippers and razor-sharp teeth.
Plesiosaurs existed during the Jurassic period 150 to 200 million years ago when what is now the Channel was a shallow, tropical sea.
More at link.The remains of a Loch Ness-style creature that lived in the English Channel 200... more
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A sea "creature" washed up on an island shore two centuries ago could be identified by pioneering DNA techniques.
The animal was dubbed the Stronsay Beast after it was found on the island in Orkney in 1808.
It was once suggested that it was a basking shark, but the claim has been disputed because of its unusually large size.
Others claim it had a long neck that made it resemble caricatures of the Loch Ness Monster.
Yvonne Simpson, a geneticist who has been studying the remains since 2001, believes newly-recovered bone fragments may finally help to solve the mystery.
She said that due to the well-preserved nature of the fragments,
which were given to her by a private collector earlier this year, she may be able to extract DNA.
She then hopes to send the samples to a recently-established laboratory in Florida that holds a database of shark DNA.
Dr Simpson, who works in archaeogenetics the analysis of DNA recovered from archaeological remains said the new DNA sequences could make identification possible for the first time.
She added: "At 55ft long this would be an unusually big basking shark, and it's far more likely to belong to another member of the shark family.
"If I get permission from America for this to go ahead, we could know the answer within a couple of months."
Some fragments of the creature are preserved at the Royal Museum of Scotland in Edinburgh, but other parts of the carcass were taken away after it washed up on Stronsay.
Dr Simpson said the fragments she had been given were "very well looked after". She will give a talk on the creature at the Orkney International Science Festival next Friday.A sea "creature" washed up on an island shore two centuries ago could be... more
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Swedish filmmakers claim to have captured footage of a mythical seamonster, similar to the legend of the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland.
Svergies Television has posted images of what they claim is the "Storsjoodjuret", or "Great Lake Sea Monster", which appears as a "blurry, long and narrow silhouette."
Conclusive proof then.Swedish filmmakers claim to have captured footage of a mythical seamonster, similar to... more
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rwylie
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added this
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3 years ago
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Monsters are everywhere these days, and belief in them is as strong as ever. What's harder to believe is why so many people buy into hazy evidence, shady schemes and downright false reports that perpetuate myths that often have just one ultimate truth: They put money in the pockets of their purveyors.
According to several interviews with people who study these things: People want to believe, and most simply can't help it.
"Many people quite simply just want to believe," said Brian Cronk, a professor of psychology at Missouri Western State University. "The human brain is always trying to determine why things happen, and when the reason is not clear, we tend to make up some pretty bizarre explanations."
A tale last week by three men who said they have remains of Bigfoot in a freezer was reported by many Web sites as anywhere from final proof of the creature to at least a very compelling case to keep the fantasy ball rolling and cash registers ringing for Bigfoot trinkets and tourism (all three men involved make money off the belief in this creature). Even mainstream media treated a Friday press conference about the "finding" as news.
Reactions by the public ranged from skeptical curiosity to blind faith.
A subsequent test on the supposed Bigfoot found nothing but the DNA of humans and an opossum, a small, cat-like creature.
Also last week, in Texas there was yet another sensational yet debunkable sighting of chupacabra, a beast of Latin-American folklore. The name means "goat sucker." In this case, law enforcement bought into the hooey with an apparent wink and nod.
"Humans first started believing in the supernatural because they were trying to understand things they couldn't explain," says Benjamin Radford, a book author, paranormal investigator and managing editor of Skeptical Inquirer magazine. "It's basically the same process as mythology: At one point people didn't understand why the sun rose and set each day, so they suggested that a chariot pulled the sun across the heavens."
Sometimes the belief in curses crosses paths with religion, as was the case in 2005 when televangelist John Hagee (whose endorsement was solicited and received by presidential hopeful John McCain) blamed Hurricane Katrina on God's wrath for a gay parade that had been scheduled for the Monday of the storm's arrival.
"I believe that New Orleans had a level of sin that was offensive to God, and they are - were recipients of the judgment of God for that," Hagee said at the time, reiterating the belief in 2006.
That might lead one to assume religion and paranormal beliefs are intertwined.
Before modern scientific explanations of germ theory, explained Radford, who writes the "Bad Science" column for LiveScience, people didn't understand how diseases could travel from one person to another. "They didn't understand why a child was stillborn, or why a drought occurred, so they came to believe that such events had supernatural causes," he said.
Bader, the sociologist at Baylor, and his colleagues teamed up with the Gallup organization to conduct a national survey of 1,721 people in 2005 and found nearly 30 percent think it is possible to influence the physical world through the mind alone (another 30 percent were undecided on that point). More than 20 percent figure it's possible to communicate with the dead. Nearly 40 percent believe in haunted houses.
"All societies have invoked the supernatural to explain things beyond their control and understanding, especially good and bad events," Radford said. "In many places - even today - people believe that disasters or bad luck is caused by witches or curses."
Which raises the bigger question: With science having answered so many questions in the past couple centuries, why do paranormal beliefs remain so strong?
Monsters are everywhere these days, and belief in them is as strong as ever.... more
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